White Collar

Season 3 Episode 12

Upper West Side Story

Aired Thursday 9:00 PM Jan 24, 2012 on USA



  • Trivia

    • When Neal took Chloe's phone to give a call to her dad, her phonebook has Danielle (Diana's alias) listed as a contact although Chloe haven't actually met her.

  • Quotes

    • Mozzie: Turns out I did have need for a vial. Potassium carbonate, sucrose, and just a hint of nitrogen.
      Neal: They have nitrogen here?
      Mozzie: Oh, this really is an excellent school.

    • Diana: You are under arrest for attempted murder and fraud.
      Andy: Danielle?
      Diana: It's Diana. And your girlfriend's cooking sucks.

    • Andy: My daughter didn't describe you as being so, uh...
      Neal: So bookish?
      Andy: So symmetrical.

    • Peter: You can come out, Mozzie!
      Mozzie: You have no proof I'm here!
      Peter: There's a half a bottle of wine on the table and a whiff of camembert in the air.
      Mozzie: Circumstantial!

    • Mozzie: Do you have any idea how many women I've wooed by using an apropos quote from Victorian literature?
      Evan: Really? How many?
      Mozzie: Now, why are you wearing
      a cardigan and a sweater?

    • Mozzie: Not bad for big brother.
      Neal: You're admiring government tech?
      Mozzie: No, I-I'm, uh, I'm pitying it. It's terribly unwieldy.
      Neal: I'll try not to let it weigh me down.

    • Peter: I walk in the classroom, and the girls were all glassy-eyed, like they saw that kid from those vampire movies.

    • Mozzie: I should have known our daring rescue of Elizabeth wouldn't buy lasting goodwill with the suit.
      Neal: It's Peter. He can't be bought.

    • Peter: Do you know how many parents would be up in arms if they knew their teenager was being taught by a felon?
      Neal: Oh, trust me. It is better than being taught by the real Mr. Cooper.

    • Neal: I might have graduated if I had gone somewhere like this.
      Peter: I'm not surprised you like it here. Even the kindergartners wear ties.

    • Neal: Did Hogwarts book a field trip?
      Peter: Looks like it. Jones, who's that?
      Jones: Oh, uh, Evan Leary. The kid was sitting in the lobby since 7:00. Said he wouldn't leave until he spoke with a case agent.
      Peter: He asked to see a case agent.
      Jones: Uh-huh.
      Neal: Someone did his homework.
      Peter: 10 points for Gryffindor.

    • Elizabeth: (about Neal) He had the treasure, and he didn't leave. He gave it up for us. I think that says a lot about his character.
      Peter: He had the treasure. That says a lot about his character.

    • Peter: I'll approach the school as a wealthy parent with a teenage son. I'll need an alias.
      Neal: Alistair Stone. A wealthy Hong Kong banker relocating to New York looking for a school for your son, Alistair Jr. You like catamarans and cognac.
      Peter: It's like you're an alias savant.

  • Notes

  • Allusions

    • When Neal says, "Ooh, careful, Papa Smurf" he is referring the a character in the comic "The Smurfs" by joking about the blue liquid on Peter's hand.