Neal: Peter likes to switch up the color if ink he uses when he signs his name. It's a habit of his since we started working together.
Mozzie: Incredibly paranoid and presumptive of him. I respect that.
Neal: I'm convinced there's a secret FBI handshake, and now is the time to use it.
Jones: There is no secret handshake.
Neal: Of course that's what you'd say.
Peter: Death certificates don't issue themselves.
Neal: No. Coroners do -- for around $500, in my experience. I may or may not have faked my death on multiple occasions -- Panama City, Bangalore.
Peter: Monterey Bay. I remember -- gored by a great white shark.
Neal: Thought you might appreciate that.
Peter: Who doesn't love a good shark mauling?
Mozzie: So, do you have the tracker?
Neal: Not yet... Anderson's gonna try to steal a different piece of technology from the conference. When that happens, I'll seize the window of opportunity.
Mozzie: Mm. Piggybacking on a fellow thief. Taking advantage of a craftsman's hard work.
Neal: Okay, you're only saying that 'cause he's going up against the bureau.
Mozzie: One against 500.
Neal: I like those odds.
Neal: (discussing the panel) So what do you wanna talk about up there?
Peter: Mortenson loan scandal?
Neal: Loan scandal? Peter, we found a Nazi submarine dredged up by an infamous Ponzi schemer. That's a story.
Peter: Wanna talk about what happened to the contents of that sub?
Neal: Point taken.
Diana: You were right to think Neal was up to something.
Peter: What did he do?
Diana: Technically, nothing. You, on the other hand, authorized a surveillance request on Sam Phelps.
Peter: I don't remember doing that. (looks into the file) And yet, here is my signature.
Peter: (about the case) Anderson is targeting a cutting edge bulletproof vest from the Hudson group.
Diana: Word is, this will be the best protection on the market.
Neal: My favorite method of protection is avoiding situations where people might shoot at me.
Peter: You ever wonder what would've happened if I hadn't made you my C.I.?
Neal: Well, I'd still be in jail and your arrest rate would be in the low 70s.
Peter: High 80s!
Neal: Why did you take my deal?
Peter: I told you, your expertise.
Neal: That's all?
Peter: I realized... all those crimes you were committing, they were never about money, or greed.
Neal: What do you think they were about?
Peter: The challenge. That's what we have in common. I love the challenge.
Neal: I know you do.
Peter: And after all those years of chasing you, your cryptic clues, your late-night phone calls from international numbers...
Neal: Yeah, and the cookies, and birthday cards...
Peter: Yeah. I realized I liked you. That's why I took your deal.
Neal: May I borrow Percy? (Sam gives them a strange look)
Mozzie: My pet rat. He eats all the fancy cheeses that I... can't. In many ways I live through him.
Sam: Many ways?
Neal: Don't get him started.
Mozzie: So how did the things go at the Suit convention?
Neal: Well, we're back to the status quo I can work with.
Mozzie: Oh, so he is suspicion you're up to something, and you're aware he's watching you like a red tail?
Sam: Hell of a dynamic you've got there.
Peter: (pointing to the screen) These are the newest hi-tech gadgets being unveiled at the conference this week. Now, which of these would be worth forging your way past five hundred federal agents?
Neal: (enthusiastically) Those mini motion detectors would appeal to a cat burglar, the cams would cut the risk on a bank job... Is that a digital tracker?
Peter: Got it. The conference is a candy store to thieves.
Jones: How many agents are in attendance this year?
Peter: About five hundred.
Neal: And one of them is an imposter.
Peter: Yeah. Someone brazen enough to pull a heist in a room full of FBI agents.
Neal: Hmm. I like him already.
Peter: (about Neal, while recounting their first case together on the panel) He works well with me because I set effective boundaries.
Neal: Yeah, so true. For example, the first time we met Hagen was actually at a church that was under restoration so the priest wouldn't let us in. That is, until Peter gave me the green light to feed the priest a story. (laughter in the audience)
Agent Furlong: So Peter authorized you to mislead a priest?
Peter: No. It was... it was a harmless story.
Neal: (innocently) Basically I just suggested that agent Burke was struggling with issues of fidelity.
Peter: I wasn't. I wasn't. (strange looks from the audience)
Peter: We have the highest closure rate of any C.I. team in the country. They wanna know what makes our partnership work.
Neal: I've been wondering the same thing lately.
Original International Airdates:
Canada: March 27, 2013 on Bravo
Java Jive by The Ink Spots
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