Who's the Boss?

Season 7 Episode 18

Tony and Angela Get Divorced

0
Aired Unknown Feb 12, 1991 on ABC

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  • Trivia

  • Quotes

    • Angela: Tony, the tax returns are very complicated.
      Tony: No they're not, Angela. I've done my taxes every year by myself, and every year I get a refund. Last year; $84.50. Payed for my bowling shoe rental for a whole year, with odor eaters.

    • Ms. Foster: And where does he sleep?
      Angela: What?
      Tony: Huh?
      Ms. Foster: I just wondered if Tony had his own bedroom.
      Tony: Well, yes, Tony has his own bedroom. Where did you think Tony slept?
      Angela: And what does that have to do with our taxes?
      Ms. Foster: Oh, this is never easy for me to say. Well, how much you owe the government really depends on whether or not the two of you are...intimate.
      Angela: They even put a tax on that?
      Tony: No wonder Mona's always broke!

    • Ms. Foster: It's just that I'm finding dozens of receipts for gifts of a rather personal and intimate nature that you bought for each other.
      Angela: Well, all that can be very easily explained.
      Ms. Foster: Uh-huh, uh-huh, like this one for Mr. Micelli from Pretty In Pink Lingerie for one black teddy?
      Tony: Well, I had to replace the one that I ripped.

    • Angela: Mother, come here. Would you do us a favor? Will you please tell this lady that Tony and I are not married?
      Mona: Well, let's examine the facts. They've been together a long time, they squabble like a couple, and they never have sex. Sounds married to me.

    • Ms. Foster: That may be true, but when you check into a motel as Mr. and Mrs. in a common law state like South Carolina, you can be considered legally married.
      Tony: You mean I didn't have to sleep on the floor?

    • Tony: Now, how do you prove you're not something? They don't give out not-married certificates. They don't say "With this ring, I don't thee wed." And the organist doesn't play "Here Don't Come The Bride!"

    • Ben: Guys, would you cheer up, please? It could be worse. If you transported sheep across the state line, you could be lynched.
      Tony: Yeah, at least I wouldn't be married to 'em!
      Angela: Thank you. Thank you a lot.

    • Angela: We've got to do something.
      Tony: Like what?
      Angela: Well, you're the husband, make a decision.

    • Samantha: Oh, look, what a cute couple. And they said it would never last.
      Mona: Actually, they said it would never happen.

    • Mona: Here's a little something for my daughter and my son-in-law for their second honeymoon!
      Tony: Mona, what is this?
      Mona: You've got it upside down.
      Tony: Ohhhhh, Mona!!
      Billy: What is it?
      Tony: It's a hat.
      Billy: Can I wear it?
      Tony and Angela: No!

    • Mona: Okay, here's the plan. I'm going to take the kids to a movie--double feature. Let nature take it's course. Wink wink wink wink!
      Angela: Mother.
      Mona: Oh, come on, you're legally married now. Even the federal government wants you to do it. Look, if you don't want to do it for yourself, do it for your country.

    • Ms. Foster: You know, for unmarried people, you sure do a lot of married things.
      Mona: Except the important one.

    • Tony: Look, your Honor, when I marry Ang--uh...an appropriate person, I don't want it to be because I signed in some place as Mr. and Mrs. I want it to be because I love her and I cherish her and I want to spend the rest of my life with her.

    • Tony: Hey, now that you're single...you free for dinner?
      Angela: Maybe. But I should warn you; I don't kiss on the first date.
      Tony: We'll see.

    • Angela: Well, we're married.
      Tony: Yeah, and for my honeymoon I'm going to jail! (sobs)

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