Wild Card

Season 2 Episode 18

Zoe's Phony Matrimony

Aired Sunday 12:00 AM Jul 16, 2005 on Lifetime



  • Trivia

    • The character name Sally Bowles is taken from the film Cabaret (1972) where Liza Minnelli plays the English nightclub singer of the same name, who sings in the Kit Kat Klub in Berlin. Both Sally Bowles come to a tragic end.

  • Quotes

    • Stuart: And what are you wearing? Elyse: I told you the trench coat!
      Stuart: And what else?
      Elyse: Nothing!
      Stuart:Je t'adore, mon amour!

    • Dan to Stuart: So are we going to bowl on the bar … or are you going to stand there looking down my fiancée's découtage?

    • Zoe finds herself standing next to Cliff in the church and she is getting married!
      Zoe: Naturally this came as a great surprise to me … and when I realized it was … Dan … I was about to marry … I promptly tripped and fell on the floor! Confused? So am I!

    • Zoe: This could possibly be the worst day of my entire life and it's all your fault!
      Dan: Oh really, well if you hadn't made me out to be your pet poodle, none of this would have happened!
      Zoe: It's part of our cover, Dan!
      Dan: Pet poodles are part of our cover? Ah hah! Wrong! You enjoy putting me down. Pooky? I'm a man Zoë!
      Zoe: I've never met a man who packs his socks in baggies!

    • Stuart: Darling … Put them in 112 … we call that our Vanity Suite!
      Zoe: Oooh and why's that?
      Stuart: Stand up mirror! Do you like to watch Dan?
      Dan: Actually, I like to …
      Zoe: Pooky … don't kiss and tell … he's just awful!

    • Stuart: Zoë Busiek … do you take this man to be your husband … to live together in Holy Matrimony … to love, honour and comfort him and to keep him in sickness and in health, forsaking all others, for as long as you both do live?
      Dan looks on bemused.
      Zoë … do you? asks Stuart ... Zoë stands there with her mouth open!
      Stuart: Zoë shall I repeat the question?
      Blink if you can hear me …! says Dan!

    • M: Once a grifter … always a grifter!
      Dan: Present company excluded!
      M: Oh zip it Dan!

    • >Zoe: Leo?
      Leo: Yeah.
      Zoe: You're drunk.
      Leo: Not drunk enough.

      Hannah: Are they fighting?
      Taylor: No. Aunt Zoe's getting married.

      Cliff: So, what's up?
      Taylor: Aunt Zoe's eloping with Dan.
      Hannah: Wow!

      Dan: Hurry up, I'm getting a hernia!

      Security Cop: Hands in the air! Now!
      Zoe kicks and punchs him, he falls down
      Dan: Oh. That's very ladylike!

      Zoe: Dan we are not really getting married!

      Dan: Newsflash dear, we're not really getting married
      Zoe: Well then why are we having this conversation, dear?

      Dan: You're keeping your name?
      Zoe: Yeah. I'm keeping my name.

      Stuart shoots Leo
      Zoe: You killed him!

      Dan: I have a confession to make. I listed.

      Dan: Wow.
      Zoe: Oh my God..uh Dan
      Both: We're married
      Zoe: We're married, we're married, we're married, we're married, we're married, oh my god, we're married, We're married, oh boy. Wow. Wha-What w-what should we do now?
      Dan: I could kiss the bride. They kiss So, what are you going to tell the kids?

    • Zoe Omg Dan....

      Dan and Zoe WE'RE MARRIED!

      Dan What are we gonna tell the kids?

  • Notes

  • Allusions