Jack: Hey! You're not the uncommon Hot Gay Nerd! You're the more common Hot Gay Opportunist!
Jack: (after Aaron describes what the male warbling bird looks like) What does the female look like?
Aaron: Who cares?
Karen: You've been out here so long you must be freezing. Here, I brought you some soup.
Jack: Karen, this is gin.
Karen: There's noodles in it.
Grace: I've never had a Peeping Tom. All I've ever had is some guy in college yelling, 'Pull down the blinds, boy!'
Jack: (to Will) Can't stay for lunch. I'm just gonna grab some money out of your wallet so I can grab a sandwich and a new sweater later.
Jack: Karen! I can't believe you killed it. How could you give a bird alcohol?
Karen: Well it was a lot harder than you think. At first I tried to pin it down with an ashtray and pry open its beak with a pair of ice tongs, but ultimately I just dunked it head-first into my glass.
Jack: All right. Well clearly nobody's at fault here.
Jack: (Quietly) Do you know what we have here? The rarest of all gay subspecies: The Hot Gay Nerd!
Rosario: Whenever I get together with my friends and talk about who works for the craziest bitch, I always win.
Will: That was some kiss, I emptied the dishwasher during it.
Grace: Oh my God! What is wrong with me? Why do I always do that?
Will: What, act like a giant whore?
2005 Emmy nomination - Outstanding Art Direction For A Multi-Camera Series.