Nathan: (to Jack) We mate, we're straight, get used to it!
Karen: (suspiciously) What is going on with you? You've never had a hard time spending my money before.
Rosario: You want the truth?
Karen: Not if it's long.
Rosario: What if I said I didn't want any of these things?
Karen: I'd say you were crazy.
Rosario: What if I said I've just been stalling so I could spend more time with you?
Karen: I'd say you were a lesbian.
Rosario: What if I said that's all I wanted for our anniversary?
Karen: I'd say you were a crazy lesbian.
Grace: Morning, sweety. Your thoughtful girlfriend bought you a turkey and cheese croissant.
Nathan: I'm a vegetarian.
Grace: Which is why your thoughtful girlfriend ate it.
Jack: I'm telling you, they're joined at the unhip.
Nathan: (about Grace) Oh, I get it...I'm supposed to be threatened by her friendship with Will. Well, I think it's great. I've tried to have women friends but they always end up...pregnant.
Grace: Ok, does this make me look fat?
Nathan: A little.
Grace: What? What? Did you really just say that?
Nathan: Don't you want to look a little fatter?
Grace: Try again.
Nathan: Uh... Well, you're very skinny, Grace.
Grace: Well, Nathan, what are you saying? Am I fat or am I skinny?
Nathan: Um, I... I'm afraid to go on.
Rosario: Don't you remember what today is?
Karen: Yeah. It's national Scrub Your Toilet day, and I think you should get home and start celebrating!
Will: These are men's jeans.
Nathan: Willard, relax. It's a very smart-looking pant. It'll save you having to tell people you're gay.
Will: (chuckles) How 'bout you? How's Nathan?
Grace: (moaning) Mmm... In a word... Bootylicious. Oh, it's so good, and the sex...
Will: He likes it, doesn't he?
Grace: He does.
Will: Even though you're a girl.
Grace: I know. Crazy, isn't it? And he does this thing--
(Nathan pops out from under the covers)
Nathan: Guys, bootylicious is in the room.
Will: Grace, I found the perfect pair of jeans. I'm serious. They're perfect. They conceal from the world everything which is flawed and evil and show only that which is true and plump.
Grace: I've spent my entire life looking for a bra that'll do that.
Karen: (Running past Jack) Can't talk, feeling something.
Karen:Well, honey. You know if you want people to like you, you have to buy them things.
Jack: Karen, that is so superficial.
Karen: Honey, why do you like me.
Jack: What do you think I should get him?
Will: Everything about them indicates "men's jeans." The way they ride low on the hip, the thoughtful flare athe shoe, the handmade copper ingots, and look, there's a little secret compartment in here for your thumb or a... a tube of lipstick. Do I hear 160?
Nathan: I'm your boyfriend. I want to be included in your traditions.
Will: Have you seen Grace around marked-down cashmere? It's like the first 20 minutes of Saving Private Ryan.
Jack: Okay, time to go, kiddo. I told your mom you'd be back by two. You ok to get home? You need anything, you need any money?
Elliot: No, I'm fine. How 'bout you? You need any money?
Jack: (laughs) Oh, Elliot! He's crazy! (seriously) Actually I might want to get a hot dog later.
(Elliot gives him two dollars)
Jack: I just need one.
Elliot: Take two, just in case.
Jack: You're a good son.
Karen: I'm going to the Barney's sale with Rosario, wanna go.
Jack: Okay. But, I'm gonna need some cash from the ATM.
(Jack swipes a credit card through Karen's breasts)
(Jack does it again)
(Karen turns around and Jack swipes his card through her butt)
(The phone rings)
Karen: Hello. Oh hi Stanley. Yeah. Okay. You wanna go first. Okay. Yeah, I'm naked. Yeah-ha. Mm-mm. Yeah. Already, well good for you. Okay. Call me later.
Nathan: Hey. Where's my best girl?
Jack and Karen: Here I am!
Karen: (to Rosario) Go down to the men's department and buy yourself some new shoes.
The opening credits are once again revamped. They now feature assorted shots of the cast members taken from different episodes.
Grace: You know what I thought I could wear with this?
Will: Yeah, and I wouldn't.
Grace: Why not? Wouldn't it make me look like...
Will: Yeah, but in Planet Of The Apes, not Room With A View.
Will and Grace are obviously thinking of Helena Bonham Carter, who starred in both movies.
Karen: (having being surprised by Rosario) I thought you were the Chupacabra.
A reference to the fabled creature of urban legend, the Chupacabra (literally 'goat sucker' in Spanish). It's a creature that is supposed to kill animals and maybe even people.