Season 1 Episode 5

Crime Dog

Aired Thursday 9:00 PM Jul 05, 2004 on FOX



  • Trivia

    • In Sharon's last flashback, her mother tells her to go talk to Darrin as "she's his favorite" and Aaron instantly says "I thought I was his favorite." The first time this happens, Aaron doesn't say this line until Sharon is out of the room.

    • When Cindy approaches Jaye with the stack of pancakes, she never puts them on the table but when the view shifts to Jaye, the stack is in front of her. Yvette could not have put them there this fast and would have had to walk around the table first to reach Jaye.

    • When Jaye locks the driver side door on Aaron, wouldn't the logical thing for Aaron to do be to go to the passenger side door, which Jaye did not lock?

    • When Jaye turns to look at the Cow Creamer in her car after landing the car on Cindy's parents' lawn (cue: "No way!"), the Cow Creamer is not on the dashboard.

    • Jaye is wearing her "Wonderfalls" work vest when she comes to her parents' house in the morning. If her vest is at the store, how did she get it before going to work?

    • Yvette, the loyal housekeeper "who practically raised" the Tylers, does not appear in any other episode. According to the commentary on the DVD, this is because they didn't have the money to bring the actress back for any other episodes.

    • The "previously on" segment for this episode includes a scene of Aaron opening a safe full of porno tapes. This scene does not appear at any point in the series as released.

  • Quotes

    • Jaye: You ambushed us with the fuzz. You were all back-lit and evil, smoking, like that guy on The X-Files!

    • Jaye: The store doesn't open for another hour and the Mouth-Breather doesn't come in 'till noon. I plan on being late.

    • Jaye: I'm sorry I made you compromise your principles.
      Darrin: The first principle is always family.

    • Jaye: So you recommend this whole running away from your family thing, then? 'Cause I've kinda been considering it.
      Cindy: Dear, I've met your family. You may have wheels on your house, but it's not gonna help.

    • Sharon: The Canadians are furious.
      Jaye: Furious Canadians. Does that even work?

    • Police Officer: Get out of the vehicle. Put your hands in the air. (to Aaron, holding creamer) Put down the weapon. Put down the weapon!
      Aaron: It's a cow.

    • Aaron: You laid that guy out.
      Jaye: I barely tapped him. Old people go down easy.

    • Jaye: (yelling at Cow Creamer) Hope you're happy! 'Cause nobody else is! What good did this do? You make me bring her all the way here just so she can feel horrible? Are you the cow of pain? Are you?

    • Cindy: If I was good at leaving, it's because you held the door.

    • Officer Hale: Do you think you're above the law, Jaye?
      Jaye: Not really. I mean, I got arrested, didn't I?

    • Cindy: (to her parents) What was the word I spelled to win the fifth-grade spelling bee? (parents don't answer) Of course, you can't be expected to remember something you never knew...'cause you weren't there.

    • Aaron: That guy just blew his nose on the ground. I thought Canadians were supposed to be clean.
      Jaye: Just don't make eye contact.

    • Jaye: I thought you and I had an unspoken agreement never to get into each other's business uninvited.
      Aaron: I never said that.
      Jaye: That's why it's unspoken, moron!

    • Karen: We liked Yvette. She's the one that we invited into our home.
      Jaye: And then told her to clean it. (All glare) Sorry.

    • Cindy: (to her parents) I wasn't gone two hours, and these children came to another country to fine me. But you? I spent four months in a local youth hostel praying you'd find me. Did you even bother to call the police?
      Cindy's Father: You were willful.
      Cindy: I was lonely!

    • Sharon: (about Yvette) She's been living here on an expired visa since 1982! (sad) That's the summer she took me to see E.T. and told me I had boobs.

    • Eric: (about INS agents) Hi. They deported two busboys and a dishwasher.
      Jaye: They took our housekeeper. Did you meet my sister, Sharon? This is all her fault.
      Sharon: Nice to meet you.
      Eric: I saw you on the news. You're a horrible person.

    • Jaye: Oh my God, why does everything have to be so dramatic?

    • Cow Creamer: Bring her home. Bring her home. Bring her home. Bring her home.
      Jaye: (puts Cow Creamer in bag) I'm just gonna put that in the bag.
      Aaron: Why? Is it talking to you?

    • Yvette: [about Sharon] She has a good heart. That maybe beats too fast.

    • Jaye: (Whispering to Cow Creamer) I don't want a pancake. I don't want a pancake. I don't want a pancake! I don't want a pancake! I don't want a pancake! (To Yevette) Yevette, can you make me a pancake?

    • Karen: Yvette, stop what you're doing, you need to go with Sharon now. Her toilet's flooded. It's an emergency.
      Aaron: By emergency, do you mean there's poop everywhere?

    • Jaye: Mom wants you back. Dad'll get over it. And Sharon . . . Sharon's an idiot.

    • Darrin: I admire your work ethic. That boy who runs thing? What's his name?
      Jaye: Mouth-Breather?
      Darrin: Well, he said there's room for improvement.

    • Jaye: (After yelling at gardener) Sorry, I'm . . . I'm P.M.S.'ing.
      Gardener: That'll do it.

    • Jaye: (Through one-way glass) Does anybody want to talk to me?
      Crime Dog: Hey, doll. I'll talk to you.

    • Darrin: (To officers) Go right on in. I'm late for a cholecystectomy. (Officers stare) Not mine. Somebody else's.

    • Jaye: Is Canada still ruled by the queen of England? Because if the judges there are gonna be wearing wigs, as an American, I might have an issue with that.

    • Darrin: You've been lying to your entire family about this for 20 years?
      Karen: I haven't been lying the whole time. There was that initial lie and then I never bothered to tell you the truth.

    • Karen: Go and talk to your father, Sharon. You're his favourite.
      Aaron: I thought I was his favourite!
      Karen: We don't have favourites.

    • Hale: The blonde one's gay. Look at her. The fingernails are a dead giveaway. Cut all nice and short. Clean cuticle beds. Lesbians always trim their nails like that. You know why?

    • Jaye: Crap. It was the pancake. Stupid Cow!
      Sharon: Selfish bitch!

    • Cow Creamer: Have another pancake.
      Jaye: I don't want another pancake!

    • Cow Creamer: Right on red! Right on red! Moo!

    • Aaron: It's the cow.
      Jaye: We could swap her back in.
      Aaron: It is only Canada.

  • Notes

    • Although featured in the opening credits, Tracie Thoms (Mahandra) is not featured in this episode.

    • Jaye talks to a cardboard-cutout crime dog and a ceramic cow creamer in this episode.

    • The Crime Dog is seen in three places in the police station: the cardboard cutout in Jaye's interrogation room, and on a poster on the bulletin boards in both Jaye's interrogation room and Aaron's interrogation room.

    • Cindy's parents' house is number 17 on their street.

    • Although it is never seen on camera, Aaron says that Jaye, the last time she was at the house, was mad at the pig-shaped salt-and-pepper shakers. This could possibly mean that the Cow Creamer isn't the only Muse in the Tyler household.

    • Jaye has been arrested four times, the previous three for "disorderly conduct," according to Sharon.

    • The moose seen in the bus terminal is an actual landmark in Toronto. There are moose all over the city, a concept made by Mayor Mel Lasman to attract tourists to the city. The tourist extras seem to prove that as true.

    • This episode was aired on Canada's Vision Network on November 1, 2004.

    • Jaye and Aaron cross into Canada to find their deported housekeeper. The bus terminal at which they spot her is actually the concourse of Skydome, a 50,000+ seat sports and entertainment venue.

    • Originally scheduled to air on April 8, 2004.

    • This episode was advertised April 1, 2004, during the closing credits of the 'Pink Flamingos' episode.

  • Allusions

    • Sharon: There's like six Law and Orders on the air now.

      Sharon is referring to the multiple versions of the popular television series Law and Order (Law and Order, Special Victims Unit, Criminal Intent, and Trial By Jury).

    • Aaron: Strange men come into our house, like those homosexuals who do makeovers . . .

      This is a reference to the Fab Five from the show Queer Eye for the Straight Guy, a home makeover show in which gay men fix up a straight man's life and house.

    • Jaye: Mom had a Lojack surgically implanted in me when I was born.

      This is a reference to an automotive tracking system in which up to 20 small frequency transceivers are hidden in a car which allows it to be traced if ever stolen or missing.

    • Aaron: They're Ewoks.

      Ewoks were short furry creatures who inhabited the forest moon of Endor from Star Wars VI: Return of the Jedi. Many Star Wars aficionados cite the Ewoks as the first hint of all the bad things that were to come in the prequels.

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