Cover Story I only saw one episode of Tough Enough this year, the very first one where the trainers decide who makes it on to the show and who doesn't, so it won't be necessary to call me on any errors I may make when discussing the series. The finale of course took place at The World in New York City. The five finalists were Jonah, Matt, Jamie, John, and Eric. Based on look alone, I would chose Eric to win, but he doesn't end up winning so what do I know? Odds are I know more than the current judges considering what went down last season. The contestants are asked who will win the contest (besides themselves) and everyone picks Matt. The one difference from this year's Tough Enough as compared to last year is that the fans will get to make the final cut. The WWE ran a poll, listed these five participants and asked the fans who they wanted to see let go. Al Snow supports this new decision because many fans were upset about last year's winners. Speaking of last year's winners, Al goes out of his way to reiterate that the right people won last year. ::coughBULLSHITcoughcough:: Obviously Al, like the WWE, doesn't want to admit their own mistakes. Seriously, if either of those girls were indeed the right choice, they shouldn't be relegated to OVW for months on end. Did Maven work in the minors for that long? I don't think so. Anyhow, the fans cut the last remaining chick, Jamie. Al is in tears over this. I guess she was his pick to win. Ivory hopes to see Jamie's face again in the WWE one day. Nidia announces John as the first winner. Why not have last year's winners introduce this year's? Oh yeah, because both of them fucking suck. John makes sure to note that winning Tough Enough is better than sex. Sadly it also isn't as frequent as sex. You take what you can get, buddy. Maven announces Matt as the second winner. I'm surprised Matt was chosen due to the fact that he doesn't have the body type that the WWE typically goes after. Not to say he is overweight, or out of shape, it's just that instead of being muscular, he is just average. Generally the WWE signs/pushes muscleheads, or at least guys with a six-pack. Then again, they only picked the guy so his family wouldn't sue their ass for the beating he got from Hardcore Holly. While we're on the topic of Hardcore… What an asshole that guy is. If there is anyone to fire while the business in a slump, that is the first man that should go. He gets hurt every two weeks and acts like an ass to anyone and everyone. On a whole, this was a nice emotional segment. If I watched the show it may have meant more to me, but what are you gonna do? Segment 1: 1/1 The Raw Superstars initially traveled from Providence, Rhode Island to Seoul, North Korea. Jericho only sees Rock shirts in all the little shops. He explains that all the Jericho shirts are soldout, so the shopkeepers are left with all the rejected Rock shirts. Damn straight. HHH mentions how he feels like one of the Beatles whenever he travels to a foreign country. Christian calls the Korean crowd the loudest he has ever worked in front of. From Seoul, the Superstars traveled to Tokyo, Japan. RVD looks through one of those viewfinders, starts screaming GODZILLLLA and runs off. Afterwards, he says that he shamed himself and his country, but it was all in good fun. He then adds, "Well, actually is wasn't really THAT funny." Funny shit there. And why again is RVD stuck floundering in the mid-card? That's right.... Politics. The Hurricane battles it out with some Anime guy. There's another topic I know nothing about, Anime. Trish relates a story of a female fan groping her while taking a picture. During a press conference, a reporter asked Trish, "Do you have puppies in your breast?" Her response, "Not that I know of. I'll call you if they start barking." HHH and Flair visit a Sumo house and eat a meal with the wrestlers. One of the Sumo guys mistakes HHH for Steven Segal. RVD ends the segment by saying it's great to be back in Japan, where he spent the better part of four years of his career (1993 - 1997). Nothing really fantastic with this segment. It's just nice to see how people from other countries perceive the WWE and it's cool to learn about the different cultures. Segment 2: 2/2 The Big Show was on Conan O'Brien last week along with Caroline Rhea and Tom Selleck. Turns out Caroline used to be a wrestle-o-holic as kid. We get to see how the staff practices the entire interview with the guests before they go on the air. After seeing that, my love of late night talk shows has diminished a little. The Big Show talks about being a bouncer, throwing a cookie at some guy, and how his wife loves the Golden Girls. Almost on cue an elderly, female, sex therapist comes on stage. She teaches us all how to test a vibrator. For those interested, you turn it on, hold it under your nose and feel how strong the vibrations are. Not a very funny segment, but I do like Caroline Rhea and Conan, so it wasn't a complete loss. Segment 3: 2.5/3 Now for a little more TE3 wrap-up. Favorite Tough Enough Moment: Matt: Meeting Shawn Michaels Jonah: The rib he pulled on the cast, which I think went a little too far. I can understand stealing people's bags and whatnot, but scaring the shit out of a bunch of other guys trying to break into the business is a little over the top. Although, TE is partially about mind games. Jonah played some great mind games, but ended up losing in the end. Rumor has it that Jonah is already being scouted by the WWE based on his independent work. I think he is too generic. He looks just like Batista. Ivory: When the guys put Metamucil into Jonah's shake. Eric: Mentions his biggest regret for some reason, which was sleeping with some chick in Iceland. He regrets this because it was videotaped and his family saw it. All Ivory had to say about it was, "Why isn't he sleeping with a new girl every week?" I love Ivory. Al Snow: Trashing the TE house. Jamie and Eric both agree that their own journeys will not end with Tough Enough. Lastly, Al talks about how much he loves training the kids and how he doesn't know what he will do with this life once he is finished in this industry. Now Al Snow is a real stand-up guy. The guy got jerked around from promotion to promotion to promotion. Was never really pushed. Jobbed to just about everyone under the sun, yet isn't bitter about it in the least. Good for him. Segment 4: 3.5/4 While in Boston for the Royal Rumble, Shawn Michaels paid a visit to the U.S.S. Constitution, which is over 200 years old. Shawn's father was in the Air Force, so he grew up with the military lifestyle. They walk around the deck of the ship, where Shawn is fascinated by the cannons. Once they go downstairs, Shawn tries out one of the 18'' hammocks the guys slept in. He goes on about how much he admires the military, but could never actually join due to the intense lifestyle. He adds that he would make a great solider though because he is good at following directions and orders. HA!! Who is he kidding? Vince, "Shawn, we need you to lay down for Bret at WrestleMania XIII." Shawn, "No…. Uhhh… I… Uhhh… lost my… smile. Yeah that's right. Maybe next year…" Yeah, great solider there. In conclusion, Shawn thinks it great meeting people who think being a pro wrestler is cool, but in reality their job is a thousand times more important. Whenever I would get dragged to ships and such on family vacations, I would be bored out of my mind, but seeing Shawn take a stroll on the Constitution wasn't really that painful. Ugh... This is one of those double-whammy segments, and I'm not talking about the game show. Jeff Hardy talks about the history of the Swanton Bomb. "It's the SWANTON BOMB because I put that switch on it because it was originally like known as the Senton, I just put the Swan in there..." Sounds like a line you would hear out of a Christopher Guest movie. Footage of Raven getting bombed is shown. That's probably the last we'll see of him on WWE TV. I probably shouldn't even get started on the whole Raven situation seeing how he is one of my favorite performers. At first Kevin Kelly wasn't all that keen with the Swanton name since it didn't sound tough, but what does he know seeing how JR started using it. Of course JR knows what sounds tough and what doesn't. Well he must considering he dubbed Bubba Ray Dudley "Bubba Tough", whatever the hell that means. Jeff of course stole the move from The Great Sasuke. Jeff finally reveals why he uses that ridiculous hand sign before doing his move... It's fun for the kids too do. What a man that Jeff Hardy is, always thinking about the children. Helen Lovejoy should be proud. Incase you weren't sure, it does hurt when Jeff misses the Swanton. OK, I think that is enough from this segment. Jeff seems like a very... ummm... simple kind of guy. Segment 5: 4/5 We follow Christian around Tokyo for a little while. He used to wrestle in Japan in 1998. Each day he would go down to the corner store and buy a can of Warm Milk Tea, which was simply warm milk and sugar in a can, so he hunts down some Warm Milk Tea. After that he interacts with some fans on the streets. One guy is really funny because even though he can't speak English, he knows all of the wrestler's catchphrases. Christian and big-headed Japanese guy do a little duet "CHRISTIAN!!! CHRISTIAN!!! YOU'RE FINALLY ON YOUR OWN!!!!" Christian is a funny guy. Confidential should do more segments with him. Next week on Confidential: That damned Arn Anderson segment that have been promising us for two months now. Lita discusses some special cause she supports. Lastly, a nice highlight reel to celebrate "Classy" Freddie Blassie making the big 8 0. Odds are the AA segment will be postponed until the Spring, so don't get your hopes up or anything. Segment 6: 4.5/6moreless
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