Show opens with a recap of Cena vs Batista at Over the Limit.
Batista, with the help of the referees, because he so injured from the PPV, comes to the ring, gets in a wheelchair and demands his spotlight. He proceeds to whine about what Cena did to him and he's thinking of suing Cena, the WWE & the fans for supporting what happened to him. While whining, the ring announcer says that Bret Hart is the new General Manager of Raw. The Hitman comes to the ring and talks about the next PPV, Fatal Four Way, and Cena's competitors will be decided tonight and tells Batista he has to qualify right now. Batista whines that he's injured, and Bret tells him so is his opponent, Randy Orton. Batista whines some more and Bret will make him forfeit the match, which Batista says if Bret does that, he'll quit the WWE. So Bret says that Orton wins by forfeit and walks off. Batista bitches about how the WWE needs him and he finally quits. (And there was much rejoicing)
Match #1: Fatal Four Way Qualifying Match: Mark Henry vs Sheamus. Sheamus pins Henry.
Maryse & Jon Lovitz waste our time.
Edge wants to have a match with John Cena and he doesn't need to qualify, but since he has to, he should face Cena tonight to get in. Then Chris Jericho comes in and demands the shot. Bret Hart decides that it will be Cena vs Jericho vs Edge. If either Jericho or Edge wins, they're in, but if Cena wins, they are both out.
Match #2: Maryse & Alicia Fox vs Gail Kim & Eve. Maryse pins Eve.
Match #3: United States Championship: R-Truth vs The Miz. Truth pins Miz.
Because apparently we have the memory span for a sponge, we get to see Batista quit again.
Josh Matthews interviews John Cena.
To kill an immense about of time, Jon Lovitz comes down for his talent show. Great Khali & Runjin Singh come down and do Putting on the Ritz from Young Frankenstein, Jillian comes down to sing but gets stopped before she can even start. Lovitz admits it a waste of time, then pulls some guy out of the audience, and he pulls out his fake eyeball. Then Ted DiBiase comes down and tries to buy the eyeball. Santino comes down for more stupidity.
Because we're stupid, here's a recap of Sheamus beating Mark Henry.
Match #4: The Hart Dynasty w/Natalya vs William Regal & Vladimir Kozlov. Kidd pins Regal. After the match, the Harts get attacked by Samoans. (No official names, hut the two guys are Rikishi's sons and the woman is Jimmy Snuka's daughter)
Josh Matthews interviews Justin Gabriel, Wade Barrett, Heath Slater and David Otunga.
To prove just what a pathetic whiney bitch Michael Cole is, he says that if Daniel Bryan doesn't apologize to him for slapping him last week (despite months of trashing Bryan) he will sue Bryan.
Jericho & Edge plot.
They announce that a giant pile of scum….Ashton Kutcher will be next week's guest host.
Match #5: Fatal Four Way Qualifying Match: John Cena vs Edge vs Chris Jericho. Edge pins Jericho.