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TV.com Roundtable Royal Rumble 2013 build up thread

Who will win the rumble?

  • Avatar of Frieza4226


    [41]Dec 24, 2012
    • member since: 01/27/11
    • level: 4
    • rank: Thighmaster
    • posts: 100
    Deadnight-Majin wrote:

    I always assumed you lived in your spaceship rather than an apartment Frieza. Now I think about it though, didn't your ship blow up with Namek?

    Ah, don't remind me. I lost a great deal of currency in the deposit of that spaceship. Stupid rental agreement.........
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  • Avatar of JLe1223


    [42]Dec 26, 2012
    • member since: 03/04/07
    • level: 20
    • rank: Cow Bell
    • posts: 1,930

    This happens in NXT

    (JLe is in his lockerroom putting on his wrestling gear. He is just finished when he hears a loud knock.)

    JLe: Who is it?!

    (There is no response from the door.)

    JLe: Hello?

    (JLe catuiously proceeds towards the door. He opens it, and is immediately greeted by a flurry of fists by the masked man! JLe tries to fight back, mounting an offense of his own, but the man counters by blocking JLe's punch and giving him a massive uppercut. JLe lands hard, clutching his jaw and the man grabs him by the scruff of the neck and puts him in the position for a piledriver, he hits it and JLe's skull bounces off the cold hard ground, almost paralyzing him. The ski masked man looks over JLe.)

    Man: That's a message from Randyspeeps, it's a little taste of what you'll experience from him these next couple of weeks. Then we're going after your girl Maria! We didn't want to spend the holidays getting our hands dirty you know? But now that we're rested, we are now focusing all our efforts on you, Maria and R-Truth!

    (The man continues to stomp on JLe, until Maria comes to tell him to stop. The man looks at Maria and gives her an "undertaker death stare" , Maria is frightened, and the chuckles as he exits. Mariaquickly goes overtocheck onJLe's pulse as the camera fades.)

    Edited on 12/26/2012 6:21am
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  • Avatar of thedude200512


    [43]Dec 26, 2012
    • member since: 06/10/05
    • level: 20
    • rank: Cow Bell
    • posts: 1,156

    I know this is the holidays and stuff, but I am looking for a partner to have a No.1 Contender's match for the TWF Tag Titles at the Royal Rumble. If no one wants to team with me I will face anyone one on one

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  • Avatar of Crulex1369


    [44]Dec 28, 2012
    • member since: 09/30/08
    • level: 26
    • rank: Bow Flex
    • posts: 4,478

    *During Smackdown, we look into GM Crulex's office and see him talking on the telephone with someone. Suddenly, he leaps out of his chair and freaks out.*

    Crulex: Really!? Really!? You can do it!? YES! YES! YES! YES! I know! They'll love it! I love it! Great man, that sounds great! I'll see you then......alright, man, later!

    *Crulex hangs up the phone and lets out a thrilled chuckle, but that chuckle turns into a frown as he groans, seeing Kreater and Gamerguy walk into the office with grins on their faces, swinging the tag team titles around in front of Crulex's face.*

    Kreater: Huh? Huh? See that? That's what you get for doubting us! Table's match, remember? Your idea, and we did what we did best!

    Gamerguy: Slick and EFC lost to us by going through some wood, and it's all thanks to......well, us, but Kreater said it, your idea! Thanks boss!

    Crulex: Oh, shut it. I didn't make that ruling to screw you, and you know it. I wanted an exciting match and we got it. Quite honestly, I'm rather glad you won. Makes my job easier.

    Kreater: Yeah, it would be easy for you to do your job when you have the best tag team on your payroll.

    *CPman passes by the door just as this is said, and his eyes grow big as his head snaps into the office. He does the "I'm watching you" hand sign from Meet the Parents at Crulex, and Crulex rolls his eyes before shooing him away. CPman leaves as Crulex continues to talk.*

    Crulex: You are NOT on my payroll. I'm not the check signer around here. Speaking of ease, I wasn't talking about you two pieces of bad influence, I was talking about match making. It seems apparent that you two have one victory, and EFC and Slick have one victory. It's only fair that we settle this in the third and final match between you two teams.

    Gamerguy: What!? No way, man! We beat them already! We have no reason to face them again!

    Kreater: Yeah, what are you trying to pull!?

    Crulex: If I felt that way when you two lost the titles in the first place, you wouldn't have them now, would you? So once again, shut it. You two have a lot of gall and Kreater, you are one of the most devious men around when you have a group. Hell, VIP and Young Gunners are up for Roundys, and you headed them both. You two are so cocky and flashy, I say we make this third match something that everyone will want to see. So at the Royal Rumble, it's going to be Kreater and Gamerguy vs. Slick and EFC 3 in a Falls Count Anywhere Tag Team Championship Match! You two like flash and flair? Then you can go.....from the window! To the walls! 'Til the blood is in the halls! So good luck, and may the best team win.

    Kreater: You know, I really hate you.

    Crulex: Aw, I didn't know you cared.

    Gamerguy: C'mon, Kreater......

    Crulex: Oh, hold up, speaking of Young Gunners, next time you see Frieza, send him here. I've reconsidered his offer.

    Gamerguy: Fine! Let's go!

    *Kreater and Gamerguy leave the office as Crulex picks up the phone again.*

    Crulex: Yes, production? Slate some time for me on Monday. I've gotten a New Year's Party to plan with two special guests.........yahahahahaha!

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  • Avatar of Hurricane1123


    [45]Dec 30, 2012
    • member since: 09/07/06
    • level: 34
    • rank: Wardrobe Malfunction
    • posts: 11,634
    I'm the third highest score sweeeeet!
    Looking to blow up the 2013 Royal Rumble....by BLOWING IT UP...MWAJAJAAJAJA LQTM!
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  • Avatar of TwistofFate14


    [46]Dec 31, 2012
    • member since: 07/11/09
    • level: 15
    • rank: Ginsu Knife
    • posts: 1,720

    *This happens on RAW*

    "Am I A Psycho" hits and Twister comes out.

    Twister: How we doin' y'all? Now, I said I would leave after I lost at Survivor Series. And I lost, so I left for a few weeks. I am here to announce though that I will be in the Royal Rumble! Now, lemme reflect back on my year. 2012 was supposed to be my year. I didn't win the Royal Rumble, but I won an Elimination Chamber. I won the U.S. Title and held it for a few months. After I lost it, everything went downhill. I lost match after match. I can't even remember the last time I won. So, I took time off, relaxed and came back better than ever! 2012 was supposed to be my year, but it wasn't. 2013 will be the year of greatness. The year of the American Psycho. The year of the RIVER CITY CRIPPLAH! The year of ELLLLLLL RENEGGGGGADDDDDOOOOOO! IT WILL BE THE YEAR OF THE MOTHAF**KIN TWISTER! AND YOU CAN TAKE THAT TO THE DAMN BANK! TWISTIFY!

    Twister drops the mic and poses on the turnbuckles. Twister leaves.

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  • Avatar of Frieza4226


    [47]Dec 31, 2012
    • member since: 01/27/11
    • level: 4
    • rank: Thighmaster
    • posts: 100

    Monday Night Raw

    *On the last Raw of 2012, "Only a Chilling Elegy" begins to play, and King Frieza makes his way to the ring, making sure to take a mic on his way in. Going over to the turnbuckle and taking a seat on the top, King Frieza smiles, cocking his fedora hat back so the camera can catch his face.*

    Frieza: Ah yes. 2012's end of the year Raw. The night where everyone will state that 2013 will be their year and how much better they will get. But I have never had to "get better". I have never needed "my own year". I have been the best wrestler to do battle in this ring since I walked into the Royal Rumble two years ago and I have been rolling for quite some time. Even when some of my fellow superstars fell off the map or fell on hard times, what have I truly suffered? My light heavyweight reign did not beat ALLPR0's, and one failed fluke attempt at the World Championship. Two misses out of twelve consecutive months filled with hits. That should be more than enough to tell you that the weak dogs bark, and Frieza simply bites anyone who stands against me. 2013 will be much like 2012 for King Frieza. I will finish what I started, and everyone will finally bow to me.

    *Frieza hops off the turnbuckle and points to the back.*

    Frieza: Now, my road to Wrestlemania begins right now. For a while now, I have heard one superstar try to get back into the title picture and has try to enlist the help of someone else. The one they call "Dude", you are a former tag team champion, and yet you are trying to break back in to that same division? To what end? It doesn't matter. No one seems to have taken you up on your offer, and so you stated that you would willing face whomever challenged you. I see a way to grant both of your wishes. Dude, I hereby challenge you to a match for the #1 Contendership of United States Title. You're opponent at TLC was me, and only because your opponent failed to show up, as mine did. I offer you a chance for revenge and the title shot you desire. All you have to do is face the most dominant superstar in TWF history. Will you accept, or must I offer someone else a chance at glory? I await to hear your response.........as for the rest of you in the Royal Rumble...........be prepared to jump me all at once......because alone, you have no chance..............I am Frieza, and I am.......IMMORTAL!!!!!

    *"Only a Chilling Elegy" plays the King of the Ring back out of the ring as Frieza makes his way to the back, satisfied with his challenge and threats.*

    Edited on 12/31/2012 12:28pm
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  • Avatar of Crulex1369


    [48]Jan 2, 2013
    • member since: 09/30/08
    • level: 26
    • rank: Bow Flex
    • posts: 4,478

    *On WWE's Main Event, GM Crulex storms into the production truck, which has been ripped apart and destroyed, with monitors and wires everywhere and yanks the first male worker he sees out of his chair and glares at the poor man*

    Crulex: What the hell happened on Monday? I was told that everything I planned on Monday for the New Year's eve bash, inviting Deadnight Majin and JandSman was ruined here in this truck! Was this place not locked up? Who the hell got in here Monday!?

    Production crew member: Sir! It wasn't one person! It was a group of guys! And they hid their faces! I swear, I don't know what happened sir!

    Crulex: Did they look like anyone on the roster? Huh?

    Crew member: It was five guys. Only one was recognized as a production member, and he was cleared because he claims they threatened his well-being into unlocking the truck. We verified this fact with the injuries on his body from being threatened, but like I said, none of the other men's faces were seen on screen!

    Crulex: *Sigh*...........this had better be investigated thoroughly! I do not need any renegades running around damaging equipment and ruining my segments that I plan on for humiliating and making fun of my opponents!

    Crew Member: But sir! We looked everywhere! And we did find evidence......we think.....

    *A female crew member steps in between Crulex and the original male crew member. She hold up a tape with a note on it and tries to keep GM Crulex calm.*

    Female Crew Member: GM, I think you're going to want to see this. We found this amongst the destruction. It's got us all confused to an extent, but I think this was all done out of good will.

    Crulex: Are you insane? Ruining my segment and destroying my production truck was done out of good will? Give me this.

    *Crulex takes the note off of the tape while the female crew member attempts to patch in the tape to one of the few remaining working monitors. Crulex reads the note out loud to himself as the other production workers look on.*

    Crulex: "We hope you are able to forgive our intrusion, but it was for your own good. Be smarter than inviting your two biggest enemies into one area. Wake up and remember to be a GM for business and a demon for battle. If you had held your New Year's Eve party, it was rumored to be a trap turned back on you, leaving you unable to compete at the Royal Rumble. As such, we took action to prevent such a crime from taking place. This is your only warning. Do not attempt to locate us. Do not attempt any more foolish ideas. And do not attempt to injure either Ortonism Leader Deadnight Majin or General Manager JandSman. This was not done for you. This was not done for them. This was done for the Royal Rumble. We demand to see all three of you compete." It's signed by "fellow members of the TWF Roster". So what the hell is this?

    Female Crew Member: I thought the letter was clear. Four TWF superstars, which could be old, new, men, women, it's not clear yet, broke in here, ruined your plans for the New Year's Eve Bash to avoid a catastrophe brawl that would have likely left either you or one of your opponents injured.

    Crulex: I get that, smart-*ss, but why? What do they care? Why is the World Title Match and who competes in it so important to them?

    Female Crew Member: Don't ask me, I just work here.

    Crulex: What's on the tape?

    Male Crew member: Well, that's why we called you in here instead of reporting this to your office. The tape was marked "Play at 8:45 PM on Wednesday- Main Event show". It's 8:44, almost 8:45, sir.

    Crulex: Then play the damn thing.

    *The male worker places the tape fully into the monitor and after a bunch of glitchy pictures and static, a pulsating, futuristic-looking clock appears and begins to countdown, reading 25 days, 1 hour, 55 minutes, 10 seconds, and begins to count down from there until the clock gets to 25 days, 1 hour, 55 minutes and 0 seconds. The 0 then expands against the black backdrop and become the only thing on the screen until the male worker shut the video down.*

    Male worker: That zero was the only thing on the tape after that.

    Crulex: What the hell.......is that? Wait, that thing said 25 days.........oh no...........not again......

    *Crulex runs out of the truck as the production workers exchange confused looks with one another and WWE Main Event moves on to it's second match of the night.*

    Edited on 01/02/2013 9:56am
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  • Avatar of JakeFrato


    [49]Jan 5, 2013
    • member since: 10/20/10
    • level: 7
    • rank: Talk Show Host
    • posts: 500

    "My Name (Wearing Me Out)" by Shinedown hits the PA, and Cpman steps out to a boo-heavy mixed reaction. He seems to be in one of his more serious moods, a scowl long across his face. He heads down the ramp, and enters the ring, grabbing a microphone from a crew member. His music died out, and all that could be heard was the crowd.*

    JBL: Oh boy, Cpman. I can only imagine what this specimen has to say! He has taken time off since his beat down by the hand of Nuck and beating Hurricane at TLC in that crazy Chairs match!

    Josh Mathews: That's right Bradshaw, and many have wondered what exactly has been going through the mind of Cpman the past couple weeks after that attack. He was hit in the ankle with a sledgehammer, and suplexed through a burning table! Let's take a listen!

    Cpman: My burns healed up nicely, thanks for wondering. You know, Nick was out here a couple of weeks ago on our live, commercial free edition of Smackdown. He cursed, he made threats, and he brutally attacked me for no reason. I went out to that ring to save his career. That's right, I went out there to keep him from making a huge mistake. Though, as it turns out, no matter what I did, he was going to make a huge mistake. Why do you think he hasn't been on television for the past few weeks? No, it wasn't because of him missing his flight, or missing his cab, or missing his weekly bowel movement. It was because he made a mistake that he regrets. He gave me a sprained ankle that I am lucky to be walking on, and burns all over my back. I believe he still thinks it's 2009. Nick, you aren't the same wrestler you used to be. Now you miss flights, you get your ass kicked in the ring. You just suck terribly. The only success you had was when you were a member of Slick n' Nick, and even then you sucked. See, I am an awesome singles competitor. I am a three time tag team champion, and as it stays on topic, a one time United States Champion. Do you know when I won my United States Championship, and my third Tag Team Championship? I won it this year at Over the Limit. I put on the greatest performance in TWF history, in one night, going 5-0, winning two championships, and defeating the likes of Crulex, Hornswoggle, Sonic, Hurricane, and Jandsman. Keep in mind, that all happened in one night. You know who my partner was? Slick. I carried him through that tournament, and to Tag Team Gold. I knocked off that fool Twist, who you know all too well. Nick, your jealousy is sad. It really is. You feel the need to run rampant around here, and just do some stupid bullshit, then come fight time, pretend like it's the last thing on your list of priorities. I have had enough of you. I came to this company to destroy Hurricane, and I am staying to shut you down permanently...Because Nick...I challenge you to a very important match. I want Crulex to sanction this all right here. Nick, I challenge you to a match where you need to find a manager, and you need a lot of luck. Cpman! Nick! Two Managers! Winner gets into the Elimination Chamber for the TWF Championship! You hear that? I want in the steel structure too! Kreater, Slick? Neither of them deserve it! I DO! Crulex and Nick, I expect some answers. Nick, do you accept, and Crulex, do you? I'm giving you both three weeks, until the last Smackdown before the Royal Rumble, to give me an answer. Nick, regardless, you better go and start hunting down managers. Though, I wouldn't be shocked if you stood someone you want to be your manager up, just because you couldn't get to the bus stop on time. I await your answer!

    *"My Name (Wearing Me Out" hits again as Cpman exits and Smackdown moves on to it's next segment.*

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  • Avatar of JandSman


    [50]Jan 6, 2013
    • member since: 04/26/07
    • level: 32
    • rank: Whammy!
    • posts: 7,214
    Monday Night Raw

    *Deadnight-Majin is in the center of the ring with a Mic.*

    Majin: In just a few weeks ago, on January 27th, the Royal Rumble will occur, signifying the beginning of the Road to Wrestlemania.

    Where the WOTU and TWF round tablers will compete in one Rumble, to earn a guaranteed shot at their respective World Title at Wrestlemania 29, the grandest stage of them all.

    But the Royal Rumble has more then one match, there will be a rematch for the TWF Tag Titles between the teams of TheKreater and Gamerguy vs Slick and Efc, then there will be another rematch for the United States Champmionship as new champion and fellow Ortonism member, Randyspeeps defends against the pitful JLe. And once Randyspeeps vanquishes JLe yet again, there will be a number one contender’s match between Dude and Frieza, where the winner will get a future United States Championship match. Meanwhile two losers known as CPReborn and Goldenagenick will face off. But on January 27th, the thing that will be making the headlines is that Deadnight-Majin defeated Crulex to regain the TWF Championship! To end the classic rivalry between the two of us.

    And once I defeat Crulex, I’ll prove that Hell in a Cell was a fluke, and that 2013, will be the year of Majin!

    ???: You’re so very confident…

    *Crulex steps out with a mic.*

    Crulex: It seems that you’ve forgotten about what I’ve done at Hell in a Cell, not only did I defeat you for the TWF Championship!

    I dominated you, I put you through hell, and most importantly I put you in your place, but it seems that I didn’t hurt you enough, since you’ve gotten that attitude again.

    Well at Royal Rumble, when I compete against you for the TWF Championship, no matter who’s coming or who’s getting involved, I will defeat you and win the TWF Championship!

    *Savior* by Rise Against hits and JandSman comes out with a Mic and the TWF Championship.*


    You two, you two, think you’re so funny, but you’re really just fat losers!!!! And I know, because I’m the coolest guy in all of coolsville, LQTM! I’m just saying.

    I mean you guys think that you can just forget about your World Champion, because you guys had this “epic feud”, so you think that this gives you another chance to relive it.

    Well you’re wrong, because I’m the TWF Champion for a reason, and I’ll remain the TWF Champion for a very long time!!!! LQTM!!!!!

    Majin: JandS, there’s only a couple reason why we’re ignoring you, not only is it because we’re two of the best in the world.

    Crulex: But you’re just a lucky punk! Who didn’t deserve to beat me.

    Majin: And with your lack of mental stability, you’re bound to fail!

    Crulex: Deadnight and I don’t like each other, but we both respect each other, unlike you. We want nothing to do with you in fact at the Royal Rumble, it should just be Crulex vs Deadnight-Majin for the TWF Championship.

    Majin: And we can make that happen.

    *Crulex and Majin start to close in on Bizzaro J. Bizzaro J drops the mic, and gets ready to fight, but then lights flicker on and off in the arena. JandSman, Crulex, and Deadnight look all around, then Crulex suddenly goes out of the ring and then heads to the back, to a surprised Majin.

    Majin turns around and starts to exchange punches with Bizzaro J, Bizzaro J starts to get the advantage but then ducks a punch from Deadnight and sets him up for a JAS, but Majin slips off of his shoulders and kicks him in the nuts.

    Deadnight then picks up the TWF Championship, Deadnight taunts as Bizzaro J starts to get up and Deadnight hits Bizzaro J in the face with the TWF Championship. Deadnight raises the TWF Championship over Bizzaro J as the camera fades to commercial.*
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  • Avatar of enervator


    [51]Jan 7, 2013
    • member since: 07/05/05
    • level: 38
    • rank: Squarepants
    • posts: 10,169

    This happens on Raw:

    *Michael Cole stands in the ring.*

    Cole: Ladies and gentlemen, I'm proud to announce the return of Ortonism Czar, Enervator, and … BATISTA!!!

    *"I Walk Alone" hits, and Enervator and Batista head out. Both are wearing three piece suits. Batista is wearing sunglasses. The crowd is booing them like crazy as they head down to the ring.*

    Cole: First of all, welcome back. Dave--

    Batista: What did you call me?

    Cole: Batista--

    *Batista stares at Cole.*

    Cole: Mr. Batista?

    Batista: How about "sir"?

    Cole: Anyway, sir, I'm sure we're all glad to see you return after your brutal beatdown at the hands of Jle.

    *Batista looks pissed.*

    Batista: My what at the hands of who?

    *Cole starts sweating.*

    Cole: A few weeks ago, Jle took out both you and Seinfeld.

    Batista: Do you know how many beatdowns I've received in my life? None. When I was two, I spilled my milk. Obviously I did it on purpose, because I don't make mistakes. My father decided to beat me for it. He's still in the hospital. So I'm pretty sure I'd remember something like that if it happened. And who the hell is Jay Lee?

    Cole: You used to hang out with him. He almost killed you once before as well.

    Batista: LOL. He must not be very good at it, since it looks like I'm still here. In fact ….

    *Batista heads to the corner and climbs to the top turnbuckle, where he flexes. The crowd boos him. He returns to the center of the ring.*

    Cole: With all due respect, we all saw evidence of what he did.

    Batista: Oh really? So you're saying he did something like this to me?

    *Batista Batista-Bombs Cole. The crowd goes insane.*

    Enervator: Clearly this JLe, whoever he is, has bitten off more than he can chew by choosing to mess with Ortonism, and is trying to create the illusion that he has us on the run, when the reality is far from that.

    *JLe appears on the Titantron. The camera is zoomed in on him.*

    JLe: Big talk from someone who won't even wrestle. Someone who was too afraid to even face me. Well, now Randyspeeps is facing my wrath instead of you. I've brought Ortonism to its knees like no one ever has before.

    *Enervator and Batista look at each other and burst out laughing.*

    JLe: You think that's funny? Well why don't you take a look at this?

    *The camera pulls back, and we see a beaten and bloodied Batista behind JLe.*

    JLe: Still think it's funny?

    Enervator: Are you kidding me? Batista is standing right here, and you're going to pull something like that?

    JLe: This is the real Batista!

    Batista: LOL.

    Enervator: But since this is the game you like to play, how do you like this?

    *Torrie comes out of the back dragging Maria behind her. The crowd goes insane.*

    King: Puppies! And more puppies!

    Enervator: Dave, use Maria to show why it's a big mistake to mess with Ortonism.

    Batista: I don't know. I'm too much of a gentleman to hit a woman.

    Enervator: Haven't you been paying attention? That's really R-Truth in drag. He's a master of disguise. You'd better take him out before he kisses you like he did to Randyspeeps.

    *Batista looks outraged.*

    Batista: You planning to kiss me?

    Maria: No! It's me, not R-Truth.

    Batista: You must think I'm pretty stupid.

    Maria: No!!

    JLe: You leave her out of this!

    Enervator: Too bad you're back there doing your stupid theatrics or you might have been around to prevent this. Batista ….

    *Batista picks up Maria and Batista-Bombs her. The crowd boos. Torrie drags her to the corner and gives her a Bronco Buster. The crowd goes insane.*

    Enervator: Poor R-Truth, or Maria, or whoever that was. JLe, you might want to do a better job of playing nice with Ortonism, or this is only the beginning of the consequences you're going to experience.

    *"I Walk Alone" hits, and Enervator, Batista, and Torrie head out of the ring. Suddenly JLe rolls out from under the ring, grabs Enervator from behind, and Batista Bombs him before running out. Batista looks confused.*

    JLe: You're not as smart as you think! That's R-Truth playing BOTH me and Batista backstage, so I knew you'd never see this coming!

    King: Whoa! Truth really is a master of disguise if he can play two people simultaneously!

    *Batista runs out of the ring and charges at JLe, who runs backstage, Batista right behind him. Torrie starts posing in the ring, and the crowd goes insane as we go to commercial.*

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  • Avatar of Randyspeeps


    [52]Jan 7, 2013
    • member since: 06/02/07
    • level: 34
    • rank: Wardrobe Malfunction
    • posts: 16,860

    *Raw returns from commercial. "Voices" hit as Randyspeeps makes his way into the arena. Seinfeld is walking behind him with an "I'm JLE" T-Shirt on. On the back it says "Yes, I'm really JLE." Seinfeld has Speeps United States Championship over his shoulder and the Money in the Bank briefcase in hand.*

    Randyspeeps: What kind of new year would it be without the greatest superstar in TWF history?

    Cole: He has a point.

    King: Ortonism sure is making their presence felt so far in 2013.

    Randyspeeps: Everyone is making all these promises. "2013 year is my year," "I'm going to win the championship," "I want a title match." Yeah I said it Spideynerd.

    King: Randyspeeps just took the first cheap shot of the year.

    Cole: I'm sure there's more to come.

    Randyspeeps: I'm not making any promises. When you're Randyspeeps, you don't have to. You do what you do best, and that's be great year in and year out.

    Cole: Seinfeld looks absolutely ridiculous out there.

    Randyspeeps: Which brings me to my Royal Rumble opponent: JLE. The guy who lost to me at TLC, yet still want another shot at my Money in the Bank contract. The same guy that told everyone how great he is, yet when he had his chance to put his money where is mouth is, he lost. The same guy who managed to turn Maria into R-Truth. But we're in luck, because JLE has graced us with his presence.

    *Seinfeld raises his hand in triumph. He runs to the top turnbuckle yelling "I'm JLE!" while showing off his T-shirt.*

    Randyspeeps: JLE, settle down. Come on over buddy. How does it feel being my personal assistant for the day?

    JLE: Well Gosh Speeps. I appreciate you letting me run around with you. It's been the best day of my pathetic life.

    Randyspeeps: JLE, I like to do what I can to help the mentally unstable.

    JLE: I'm not mentally unstable Speeps.

    Randyspeeps: Are you sure? You have a vision problem.

    JLE: I'm perfectly fine.

    Randyspeeps: Then how do you explain this. Roll the footage.

    *Footage is shown from two weeks ago where Maria kisses. The TWF universes gasps at the shock once again.*

    Randyspeeps: Now lets show the world what JLE saw.

    *Footage is shown from two weeks ago where JLE is watching Randyspeeps kiss Maria, instead, JLE see's a hallucination of R-Truth instead of Maria.*

    Randyspeeps: How do you explain that JLE? We saw Maria and Speeps kiss, you saw R-Truth as Maria. Explain.

    JLE: Well Speeps...I was...uhm...I was.

    Randyspeeps: I don't have all day.

    JLE: I was HIGH!

    TWF Universe: WOAH!

    JLE: I have this problem. It's called Gonomaria.

    Randyspeeps: So what does that have to do with anything?

    JLE: In order to overcome it, I have to smoke pot...lots of pot.

    Randyspeeps: How'd you catch it?

    JLE: I had sex with Maria. Ever since I caught it, I've had this other issue. It's not PG, so I'll just drop it.

    Randyspeeps: I'm in the ring son, there's nothing PG about Randyspeeps. Go on.

    JLE: Well, Maria gets really mad at me. Like all the time since I got that disease.

    Randyspeeps: Why JLE?

    JLE: I can't get it up. I mean I try and try so hard, but it won't come up.

    Randyspeeps: Stop right there you sick freak.

    JLE: There's more though. I finally figured out how to fix it. Every time I pretend that R-Truth is Maria. Suddenly, it goes up. Like really up.

    King: This is sick.

    Cole: Randyspeeps is behind it. Enough said.

    *Randyspeeps is having trouble containing his laughter. The real JLE appears on stage. He's surprisingly relaxed.*

    Real JLE: What the hell is this?

    Randyspeeps: JLE. Nice of you to crash our party. It's so weird seeing you without your girlfriend.

    Real JLE: You think you're so funny. I have to hand it to you. You fooled us all.

    Randyspeeps: What can I say, I have a lot of tricks. Glad you like it.

    Real JLE: I knew I would catch you one day. I'm so happy that today is the day.

    Randyspeeps: What are you talking about?

    Real JLE: Ladies and Gentlemen. That man in the ring is an imposter. That is really Vince McMahon pretending to be Randyspeeps.

    Randyspeeps: …

    Real JLE: Two minutes ago, on Twitter I made it perfectly clear that I had kidnapped Randyspeeps. So there is no way that you're the real Randyspeeps. You thought you could fool us Vince. I gotcha.

    Cole: I'm sure Speeps has been out here for more than two minutes.

    Randyspeeps: I'm pretty sure I'm Randyspeeps.


    *A man is sitting in a room tied to a chair with a paper bag over his head. The man is moaning in pain.*

    Real JLE: Ladies and gentlemen. That is the real Randyspeeps. I kidnapped him two minutes ago from his limo. That man in the ring is Vince McMahon.

    Cole: We're clearly looking at Randyspeeps right now.

    King: I know. This is bizarre.

    Randyspeeps: JLE, perhaps you should take a closer look.

    *Video shows the man in the chair again. This time Mark Henry is shown next to the man. Henry removes the paper bag to reveal R-Truth. The real JLE is still relaxed.*

    Real JLE: That's clearly not the real R-Truth. The real R-Truth is in the ring next to you Vince.

    Cole: Is it okay that I'm confused?

    King: We all are.

    Randyspeeps:...JLE. You got me. I'm clearly Vince McMahon and R-Truth is in on the joke pretending to be Seinfeld who is pretending to be you.

    King: JLE may need to be evaluated.

    Cole: Gonomaria is clearly taking it's toll on him.

    Randyspeeps: Why don't you come down to the ring and let me congratulate the smartest man in this company. Come on down and help me take off my mask.

    *The Real JLE gets a smile on his face and heads to the ring. He mouths "I told you so."*

    Cole: This isn't going to end well.

    *The Real JLE gets in the ring. He is quickly greeted by a RKO from Randyspeeps that knocks him unconscious.*

    Randyspeeps: Hey JLE! Did that feel like the real thing?

    *"Voices hit as Randyspeeps makes his way to the back.*

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  • Avatar of JakeFrato


    [53]Jan 7, 2013
    • member since: 10/20/10
    • level: 7
    • rank: Talk Show Host
    • posts: 500

    *"My Name (Wearing Me Out) by Shinedown hits as Cpman steps out from the back to a good amount of boos. He heads down the ramp and enters the ring, being given a microphone from a crew worker. He waited for his music to die down, and as it did, he elected to speak through the booing.*

    Cpman: What a shocking surprise, Nick was no where to be found here tonight on Monday Night Raw. I checked high and low, and couldn't find the poor sap anywhere. Nick is such a joke. Really, I'm embarrassed to be fighting him at the Royal Rumble, honestly. I found my manager already. Someone who has played a huge part in my career. This person has been retired for a very long time, and once again, they have played a huge part in my career. I wouldn't be the same wrestler I am today if not for this person.

    Jerry Lawler: I wonder who he could be talking about, Cole?

    *The fans begin a "Telvisnostic" chant, to which Cpman nearly smirks and shakes his head.*

    Cpman: For all I know, I bet you she'd be working with Nick. Like I'd want her on my side anyway! She lost the United State Championship to Spideynerd of all people! God! Anyway, like I said, I have my manager. I am not going to waste my breath talking to any of you any longer. This match still needs to be approved by Crulex as a manager's EC qualifier. Remember, Lex, Nick, you both have until the 25th to get this match confirmed and for Nick to get a manager. I'll be waiting.

    *"My Name (Wearing Me Out)" hits once more as Raw goes to commercial.*

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  • Avatar of goldenagenick24


    [54]Jan 9, 2013
    • member since: 11/05/07
    • level: 17
    • rank: The Crazy Neighbor
    • posts: 3,074

    *Valleys- Close Your Eyes hits and Nick walks out. The crowd gives a decent pop as he walks out in a black suit with a gold tie. He makes his way into the ring.*

    Cole: Woah! Nick is here!

    Lawler: Where has this guy been? He better have some reasoning.

    *Nick gets in and grabs a mic. He begins to smirk and gets up and sits on the top turnbuckle and makes himself comfortable.*

    Nick: CPman is a chihuahua.

    *Cole can audibly be heard trying to muffle laughs and whispering "what?!" to Lawler.*

    Nick: CPman is a little pathetic dog that bites at the nips of men much larger than him. He doesn't do this because he thinks he can take them, because even though their brains are small they still have a shred of common sense. No my friends, CPman is a constant annoyance because he feels he has the need to always prove something. Just look at our build-up. He thinks that I should even grace him with my presence when all he does is spit off accolades and tries to make a damn WRESTLING show a pissing contest.

    *Nick jumps off the turnbuckle and starts pacing as he gets frustrated.*

    Lawler: See that the PG still doesn't work for him...

    Nick: I'll be the first to admit CP that you've had some impressive moments. You've beaten some big names, congrats. I know that, they know that, every viewer at home knows that. Why do you feel the need to bring it up? Do you have short term memory and need to remind yourself "I'M RELEVANT! PAY ATTENTION TO ME!"....it all goes back to trying to prove that you exist because of how many people overlook you.

    I could sit here and list off names you couldn't even dream of being in the ring with let alone beating but I won't because what else do I have to prove? On RAW I completely dismantled your body and spirit. I have the advantage and it seems that it's gotten to your head. Your "proposition" is cute, but I don't think you understand something. I'm beating you and then going into the Elimination Chamber and walking out with that Tv.com championship. Why would I risk that by involving managers? You think I'd really be dumb enough to fall into that trap? No CPman I won't. It's Me vs You. 1-on-1. And WHEN I beat you, I will win the Elimination Chamber. Or the Royal Rumble. Depending on what I feel like. I know my words are having you fuming somewhere so we'll meet. Next Smackdown or RAW. You're choice. You, me, and Crulex. Contract signing and we'll sort out the negotiations there.

    *Nick music hits and he walks away.*

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  • Avatar of Crulex1369


    [55]Jan 9, 2013
    • member since: 09/30/08
    • level: 26
    • rank: Bow Flex
    • posts: 4,478
    CrulexTwitter wrote:
    This Friday, I have some announcement's to make. As for the renegades running around, I will find you, and you will be taken care of.

    OOC: Great promos so far everyone. Keep up the awesome work.
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  • Avatar of Frieza4226


    [56]Jan 11, 2013
    • member since: 01/27/11
    • level: 4
    • rank: Thighmaster
    • posts: 100

    Friday Night Smackdown

    *Friday Night Smackdown airs with Frieza sitting in a lawn chair at the beach with a martini glass in his hand, with sunglasses and of course his fedora hat on while the wind blows and the wavesroll in and out. Taking his sunglasses off, he smiles warmly at the camera.*

    Frieza: After visting Miami for last Monday's Raw, I felt that it was better to stay where you can actually feel anysort of warmth. So for that, I will not be joining you. However, I would be more than happy to welcome the Dude to join me in the ring next week on the 20th Anniversary of Monday Night Raw. We'll talk of many things, such as his return, the Royal Rumble, and of course, our match. Yes, the match which will see me demolish Dude and become the #1 contender for the United States Championship.

    Let's look at said championship in the meantime. First, JLe hopes to reclaim that title. And to do sohe must take out the man behind Ortonism, Randyspeeps. It's a fantastic thought to think that Randyspeeps was human and could finally fall, but JLe found out it wasn't that easy. Maybe he'll get his revenge this time? Hedoes have some merit unlike many of the fools around here. And Randyspeeps needs no fluffy praisefrom me. Suffice it to say, he's the only legend around here who has the slightest chance of showing me up........if he had that much to begin with. I really can not wait to see who walks out with the title, because no matter who I take out, they will soon find out that my road to Wrestlemania.......is paved in red, white and blue...........

    *Frieza cackles and puts his sunglasses back on before relaxing in his chair while Raw goes to the next segment.*

    Edited on 01/11/2013 8:13am
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  • Avatar of JLe1223


    [57]Jan 12, 2013
    • member since: 03/04/07
    • level: 20
    • rank: Cow Bell
    • posts: 1,930

    This takes place in JLe's apartment about one day before Smackdown.

    (JLe is pacing back and forth while in front of him, Maria is sitting on a comfortable looking couch strangely not feeling any effects from the Batista Bomb or Torrie Wilson's weak finisher from RAW. JLe stops pacing, stares at Maria and gives a sheepish grin.)

    JLe: So.... you seem to okay, I thought you'd be broken half at the hands of Batista.

    (Maria shakes her head.)

    Maria: I have back spasms, I just need to apply some ice, spend some time in the hot tub and take some Acetaminophen and they should go away in just a couple of days.

    JLe: A couple of days?

    Maria: Batista didn't hit me that hard, that move he executed on me has been very sloppy I suspect it's due to his lack of steriod injections. Without his steriods, Dave couldn't lift up someone like one of the Bella Twins. In which Dave tried to lift Nikki once in a dare by Torrie but he ended up falling and breaking his tailbone in the process, in which I had to use some "methods" to get him back in shape.

    JLe: He had to lose that bulk so he can continue to do MMA fights, but about what happened atRAW.

    Maria: That was some rescue!

    JLe: Well wait a mintue I tried to run as fast as I can, but the trapdoor was locked!

    Maria: So much for your brilliant plan!

    JLe: How do you keep getting captured like this?

    Maria: I-I don't know, I try to hide but Ortonism keeps finding me.....

    JLe: This is what happens when you said "I'm not afraid of Randyspeeps".

    Maria: Well I'm not!

    JLe: Really would face him in a match right now?

    Maria: What?!

    JLe: Sorry.... I'm just frustrated right now.

    Maria: I can help you JLe, like interfering.

    JLe: That hasn't been your strong suit, you've become more of a distraction lately.

    (Maria puts her head down, looking as though she is going to cry. JLe quickly realizes it.)

    JLe: That doesn't mean that you can't help me!!!!

    Maria: I- I'll try harder next time.

    JLe: Yeah…..

    (Just then JLe's IPhone rings, JLe picks up and raises his eyebrow as his IPhone reads: "unknown caller". Reluctantly he answers it and hears Batista's voice.)

    Batista: Hey Jay lee! Happy Birthday to you!!!!

    JLe: Batista?! how did you get this number?

    Batista: I don't know! I found your name on my phonebook and wanted to prank call you fat loser!

    JLe: Wait a minute you kept my phone number even after you betrayed me?

    Batista: Yeah! I mean no! I don't remember putting your number on my phone!

    JLe: Really? Then I guess you didn't realize I have caller ID.

    Batista: Oh ummmm oops.

    JLe: You know ever since that vile, loathsome disgusting person known as Enervator crippled me last year; I've been itching to get revenge on him, sadly he was killed….. again and I took my anger and frustration on you.

    Batista: LOL you didn't even kill me!

    JLe: I should've made sure you were dead, but no matter. Enervator is back and I want to face him and you! On Smackdown some payback for what you did to Maria who by the way is fine.

    Batista: What?! I Batista Bombed her at RAW!

    JLe: You forgot to take your steroids Dave. It's amazing how much strength you lose to the point you can't even lift a woman; I really hope you have a stash of steroids with you because you're going to need every one of them. After I finished whopping your-

    Batista: LOL! You think you can beat me AND Enervator?!

    JLe: I'm twice the wrestler I was last year what do you say?

    Batista: All right I need to talk to Enervator, but I know he'll accept, but let's make this a no DQ match!

    JLe: Sure let's! See youon Friday.

    Batista: LOL! You'll be leaving in a body bag!

    (Batista hangs upas JLe sighs and looks at Maria.)

    Maria: Are you crazy?! Enervator and Batista in the same night?!

    JLe: Yep and this time you can provide some distractions! Time to fight back, and I hope Randyspeeps will be watching.

    (Maria smiles as JLe go to his room to prepare for his match tomorrow.)

    Edited on 01/12/2013 8:28am
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  • Avatar of Crulex1369


    [58]Jan 12, 2013
    • member since: 09/30/08
    • level: 26
    • rank: Bow Flex
    • posts: 4,478

    *As Friday Night Smackdown continues, GM Crulex is seen talking to a few staff members while holding a list in his hands. They point him towards a locker room and Crulex starts off towards the room, but Deadnight Majin stops him and leans against the wall, staring at him.*

    Crulex: What? Can I help you?

    Deadnight Majin: Is this some kind of joke? What happened out there on Monday?

    Crulex: I don't--

    Majin: Don't! Don't you dare say you don't know what I'm talking about. Monday, out there, in that ring, we were supposed to stomp out JandSman and make sure that that Championship goes back to where it belongs! Then things get weird out there and you haul off like a bat out of hell out of that ring. What is going on?

    Crulex: I'm not sure that we need to get into this right now. Besides, you took care of JandSman with that elegant upward swing to the family jewels, so I don't see the point of complaining. Now, I have an announcement to make, so--

    Majin: Save it for Monday. The 20th Anniversary of Raw is better for announcements than some Smackdown anyway. Now, stop trying to change the subject or avoid this much needed chat. Do you know that I got a tape this past week, just like you did on Main Event? A tape with a countdown on it? Did you hear that JandSman found one in his office mail just today? You know something about these tapes. You know who is behind this countdown crap and who is running around causing these little problems don't you?

    Crulex: What makes you think I know anything?

    Majin: Come on, Leonard. I know you. I am the Professor Moriarty to your Sherlock Holmes. I know that you have some information you haven't been sharing with us. I've payed more attention to your erratic behavior and this investigation that you realize, because I know this has to do with the Royal Rumble. And if it has to do with the Rumble, it has to do with me. That's easy to see. What is it that you're not telling me?

    Crulex: I don't know everything, but I have theories. Frieza debuted two years ago at the Royal Rumble. Ever since then, he's been a threat to the entire TWF. I'm believe that whoever is doing this is planning something big to replicate Frieza's surprise and dominance and the group he is with appears to have targeted us. The focus has been on you, me and JandSman. If they are not with me, then they are not someone I've worked with in the past. If they didn't save JandSman from you, he does own them. And if they are not with you, then they don't work with or fear Ortonism. This is something new and I fear that no matter who wins the TWF championship between us may either have a bigger problem on their hands, or the entire TWF will have a threat, just like Frieza when he arrived.

    Majin: I see. So what has you spooked is that this may be the "next big thing" to come, and that even the three of us may not stop it?

    Crulex: It's hard to tell. My investigation has slowed to a crawl. For the time being, all we can do is play our game through and focus on the TWF Championship.

    Majin: I still want that back, you know. And we still have a plan.

    Crulex: Yes, but for now, I would advise that we watch our backs for the next two weeks. By the way, sign this.

    Majin: What is it?

    Crulex: The TWF registry for the Royal Rumble. You are still fighting on behalf of the TWF and not defecting to the WOTU, yes?

    Majin: Yeah, yeah, like I would ever show up there. I won't need this though, because I will take that title from JandSman and take you out once again in two weeks. See you then, Leonard.

    Crulex: Oh, go jump off a waterfall, Moriarty.

    *Majin smirks and points at his Rolex, signaling that time is almost up before leaving. Crulex sighs and continues to do his General Manager duties while Smackdown continues.*

    Edited on 01/12/2013 10:06am
    Edited 2 total times.
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  • Avatar of JLe1223


    [59]Jan 13, 2013
    • member since: 03/04/07
    • level: 20
    • rank: Cow Bell
    • posts: 1,930

    This happens about an hour in to Smackdown

    (Randyspeeps is found standing in the middle of the ring, with the United States Championship sitting on his right shoulder and the Money in the Bank on his left. He is approached by Matt Striker.)

    Striker: I'm with the United States Champion and the current Money in the Bank holder: Randyspeeps.

    (The crowd boos as Randyspeeps gets up and poses.)

    Striker: Speeps- Speeps: Excuse me?! Show me some respect, only members of Ortonism can call me Speeps.

    Striker(Now frightened): Ummm Randyspeeps.

    Speeps: Still not good enough!Call me: the greatest United States Champion to ever grace this Roundtable and not that ignorant, self centered, over confident "wrestler" JLe!

    Striker: Okay what you just said…..

    Speeps: I'm going to let that slide, but the next time you act like a smart aleck …..

    (Randyspeeps RKO's Matt Striker.)

    Speeps: That will happen!

    (Speeps realizes what he's done as he stares at the incapacitated Matt Striker.)

    Speeps: Ooops (he shrugs in a nonchalant manner) oh well.

    (Randyspeeps picks up the mic and speaks.)

    Randyspeeps: So JLe did something incredibly stupid and challenged BOTH Batista and Enervator to a handicapped no DQ match. Seriously what was he thinking, what is he trying to prove? JLe you've attempted to get under my skin, and I've to admit you almost did, by blowing my Randy Orton tribute mansion but I fought back. I played your game on Monday and I didn't just beat you at your own game, I dominated you!

    (The crowd boos.)

    Randyspeeps: You are waste of my time JLe; I shouldn't be wearing this title belt, I've already established my greatness! I should be winning the World Heavy Championship! In which I will don't worry people! But first I need to wipe JLe off the face of this Roundtable, to let him know once and for all you're just not good!

    (You can hate me now plays as the crowd erupt in joy. Randyspeeps facial expression immediately turns into shock and fear. The titan tron continues to play JLe's music, and after 15 seconds a fake JLe comes out giving a "Festus" look. He walks to the ring Fred Sanford style and trips and falls face first onto the floor. Randyspeeps gives a look of amusement as "JLe" attempts get up and drag himself into the ring.)

    Speeps(Fake surprise): Oh look everyone is JLe!

    ("JLe" smiles to the booing crowd.)

    Speeps: So JLe? You think you can stand here in my presence, do you think you're worthy????

    Fake JLe: DUHHHH Nooo Mr Speeps!!!!! Why I don't why I'm even here I'm just stupid I GUESS!!!!

    ("JLe" hyucks and Randyspeeps laughs.)

    Fake JLe: And guess what?

    Speeps: What?

    Fake JLe: I just pooped today!!!!!!

    Speeps: Really?! You see ladies and gentleman this is JLe, you've been sleeping with Maria a little too much haven't you. Gonomaria has taken over you! You're even less of a man and that's saying something!

    Fake JLe: DUHHH sure am! Say can we be fwrends? Randyspeeps: Ahhh, no retarded freak! People like you disgust me!!!!

    ("JLe" begins to cry.)

    Speeps: However you are worthy to kiss my feet.

    Fake JLe: Doh boy!

    (Randyspeeps takes off his shoe and sock and "JLe" immediately goes down and kisses his bare foot.)

    Speeps: Yes JLe that's all you'll ever be worthy for! Now you know in the end you are just common thrash.

    (All of a sudden Maria comes out with a mic in her hand; she heads down to the ring. Randyspeeps lustfully stares at Maria's attire: A tight fitting green dress that stops a couple of inches below the knees along with high heels and a strap that wraps around her hip and left right shoulder horizantally. She gets in to the ring and gives Speeps and "JLe" a cold gaze.)

    Speeps: Wow! Maria you look lovely tonight! So your retarded boyfriend has admitted that I'm better than him.

    (Maria rolls her eyes and puts her hand on her hip.)

    Maria: Is that so? Speeps: Yep! By continuing to kiss my foot! He has conceded that I am indeed the superior one! Now about you! You look gorgeous Maria, are you ready to abandon JLe and come back to me? All the doctors I've been seeing are useless, but you Maria, you're the only doctor who understands me inside and out. I need you Maria.

    Maria: Speeps if you think I'm going back to you, then you must have your head stuck behind your rear.

    (Speeps looks a little angry, but keeps his cool.)

    Speeps: I'll let that slide Maria; I mean I'm giving you another chance. Even after all I put you through this past couple of weeks. I giving you a chance to once again experience the big guns just like old times Maria? Maria: Speeps I know you for years and I can see that with all those "big guns" what lies below is a little squirt gun.

    (Randyspeeps is appalled; he does nearly falls over, while "JLe" gives Maria the Chewbacca roar.)

    Maria: Oh spare me Seinfeld! I know it's you! (She turns to Speeps who looks like he wants RKO Maria so badly.) The fact that it took one half of Ortonism to take down JLe says a lot about Randyspeeps. It shows that you you're what you used to be! I've seen it through the MRI scans the frequent steroid injections. Your body is breaking down Speeps!

    Speeps: Am I hearing this correctly? Are you just basically just proved myself, that I'm still a champion! Now you better leave before I finish what Batista failed to do! The man forgot to steroids….. again!

    Maria: You may be a "champion", but really you're nothing more than a megalomaniac, geriatric, depleted shell of a "man"!

    Speeps: Why you-

    (Randyspeeps attempts to attack Maria , but Maria kicks Speeps in the groin with her pointed high heel. And scratches him HARD on the face, leaving some noticeable scratches on Speepsleft cheek; Seinfeld tries to attack but is met with a knee to the groin by Maria. Randyspeeps rolls out of the ring clutching his grapefruits and so does Seinfeld. Randyspeeps looks at Maria with malicious intent, yelling out profanities and announcing that he'll have his revenge. Maria looks at Randyspeeps and blows a kiss as the camera fades.)

    Edited on 01/15/2013 9:17am
    Edited 3 total times.
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  • Avatar of JLe1223


    [60]Jan 13, 2013
    • member since: 03/04/07
    • level: 20
    • rank: Cow Bell
    • posts: 1,930

    TWF Roundtable News wrote:

    JLe vs Batista and Enervator in a No DQ match, has been canceled andmoved upto RAW due to Enervator unable to make it to the arena due to "personal reasons".

    Edited on 01/14/2013 8:11am
    Edited 2 total times.
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