Monday 9:00 PM on USAIn Season
|OOC: Twist, are you okay with Frieza and I picking a stipulation for our match?|
|Goldenagenick Twitter wrote:|
|After some time to cool down, I'm totally fine with JandS decision. I get to beat up on Qfrodi AGAIN and get to show some of these younger guys how it's done. And a little side note, keep an eye on that Deadnight kid. Reminds me of a younger Crulex.|
|Hurricane Twitter wrote:|
|@Goldenagenick Slow down there old crusty veteran, what are you trying to do, tutor the jobbers on how to lose? LQTM! These pathetic wastes of flesh and blood are not worth the time for tutoring. They all need to learn their place and fashion their eyes on me! The future TV.com Champion......one day!|
|Hurricane Twitter wrote:|
|Heh, of course I had Batista cut out the footage about my ventures in Spain. What? You non-gold mansion dwelling peeps need not know about what occurred in Spain, just worry about your own sad and pathetic lives. By the way, I made a journey to Spidey's land of Nebraska and what I saw will shock absolutely nobody! The viewing audience will see exclusive footage of me and the crew exploring the Spidey-loser manor, tomorrow on a replay of Raw...ON TELEMUNDO!!! ARRIBA!! Solo estoy diciendo!|
*This is the main event of Monday Night Raw*
Raw comes back from commercial set up for ALLPR0's talk show the think tank with two plasma tv screens in the corners and one big one in in the middle of the ropes facing the tv camera angle being held up by cables. There are three very comfortable looking recliner chairs in the ring along with some black carpeting.
Cole: What the heck is this? We don't even get a match for our main event just a talk show segment?
Booker: Cole shut up when has ALLPR0 not blown our minds when he promised to do so before hand?
Cole: He's never blown my mind!
Josh: Well you do have to have a mind to blow to start with....
The crowd is silent in anticipation when all of a sudden Ladies and Gentlemen by Saliva hits and ALLPR0 starts walking down to the ring in a three piece white suit with a black shirt and white tie. The crowd pops like crazy and starts chanting AP! AP! AP! ALLPR0 sits in one of the recliners and grabs a microphone.
AP: As I have promised for a while now folks my first guest tonight will be my Summer Slam opponent Kreator!
Cole: I don't care about Kreator! Where's the masked man!
Priceless by Jim Johnston hits as Kreator makes his way out to a solid pop and he also sits in a recliner and grabs a microphone.
Kreator: Hey ALLPR0, as you well know I won that little LHC tournament to face you at Summer Slam thanks partially to you and the masked man. I'd just like to start off by thanking you for having it in you to call that crazy finals match up fairly. Why did you want to talk to me so badly tonight though?
AP: First of all your welcome, I was simply doing my job as fairly as I could. There's no other way I could have felt as accomplished as I will at Summer Slam when I win for the fifth straight ppv! (crowd pops for this) Yes you heard me right everyone, when I win at Summer Slam I will have held the LHC through five ppvs setting a TV. Com Wrestling Federation and forever sealing my name in the record books!
The fans are cheering ecstatically now as Kreator looks impressed.
Kreator: I had no idea you were that closed to the record ALLPR0, I was already excited for this match up but now I'm twice as pumped as I was before. What a way to start my own reign as champion, beating the longest holder of the belt in the glorious history of this company!
The fans are once again bouncing off the walls when ALLPR0 begins to talk again.
AP: Glad to hear it. One more thing though, because of the recent string of interferences by Uprising.... I've demanded that this match must end in pinfall or submission! That way no interference by anyone will end this match up......
ALLPR0 and the fans cheers get cut off by My Time is Now hitting the PA system and Jands walking out and onto the ramp to a ton of heat while holding a microphone.
Jands: You're right about one thing ALLPR0, and that is that having that no wining by dq stipulation at Summer Slam is a good idea. Unfortunately for you is that you barged into my office and demanded this stipulation after all of the problems you've caused me and Uprising these past few weeks. So at Summer slam you will get your stipulation, but you can also be assured that Uprising will be making an appearance during your match, and it won't be to benefit you.
AP: You see Jands for all of the crazy and sometimes stupid things Hurricane made me do as a part of IX, he never disrespected me. That seems to be one of your favorite past times as of late. Now I'm giving you one more chance to get out of here while I talk to Kreator.
Jands: Or else what AP? You think you're some genius who has everything figured out. Well not only do you not know everything, you have even less of what you do know figured out!
Go Getta hits and Twist and Lak walk from the back and stand on either side of Jands. As the crowd starts booing even louder.
Jands: Now while you've been worrying about you're meaningless belt over these past few weeks you've interfered in Uprising's plans a few too many times. I think its about time you realized that while you've been living in the present worrying about your records I've been planning something big which will take this company by storm. The first step on this journey is crushing arrogant jobbers like you who stand in myway!
AP: You've got backwards I'm afraid. You're dealing with someone you know nothing about and someone who is much much smarter than you ever will be. I had nothing against you until you started interfering in my business, since then I've been more than just one move ahead of you, I've been ten!
Jands: Enough talk you self righteous idiot! Its time you learned your place in this company and that's at the bottom!
Kreator all of a sudden gets up and charges and Twist and Lak who are advancing towards the ring. Kreator goes for a double clothesline but is countered by a double flap jack from Twist and Lak. ALLPR0 take his jacket off and undoes his tie and cuffs while Twist and Lak keep walking towards the ring.
Jands: Now its time your reign as LHC ends and you realize who your superior is in every way possible!
ALLPR0: No Jands, this isn't the end. This is only the beginning!
The titantron comes to life as Lak, Twist, and Jands turn around to see what is going on. The screen is showing the road outside of the arena with a few cars driving past. All of a sudden one vehicle turns off the road and starts heading towards the arena! The vehicle starts picking up speed as it gets closer to the arena its going nearly seventy miles an hour and as it enters into the lights outside it can be seen that its a monster truck! The truck bursts through the glass door entrance to the arena and parks in the hallway as the driver gets out wearing all black and the unique black mask the masked man who has been behind the attacks to RT. Inc and Uprising over the past few months! The camera slowly pans downward showing the license plate of the monster truck which reads BRNALEGD. The black mask flies past the camera as the fans start going crazy realizing that the masked man has de-masked himself!
Cole: That entryway cost thousands of dollars!? How dare the masked man do such a insane thing like driving a truck through an arena's doorway!?
King: Who care's Cole we're about to find out who he is!
Jands: Really ALLPR0? Relying on the masked man to save you again? Well I don't care who it is but it won't change your fate!
ALLPR0: (while smirking) You really have no idea who you're dealing with do you?
Twist and Lak enter the ring now and land a few strikes on ALLPR0 who is doing his best to defend himself. Jands starts slowly approaching the ring when all of a sudden glass breaks over the PA system and the fans go NUTS!!!!!!!!!!! Legend struts out from the back to an enormous pop as Jands turns around and starts walking towards him with his arms out stretched questioning Legend on what he's doing. Legend gets in Jands face and flips him off! Jands gets angry but Legend kicks him in the balls, Jands doubles over in pain and Legend grabs him and hits a giant stunner as the fans some how find a way to increase in volume!!!!!
King: WHAT!?!?!?!? WHAT!?!?!?!? WHAT!?!?!?!?
Cole: Saw that coming a mile away.
Josh: Yeah friken right Cole!
King: Who cares Josh! I haven't see anything this insane since Stone Cold Steve Austin returned to help the alliance defeat WCW and ECW when they invaded Raw and nearly took control!!!!
Legend continues on his war path to the ring sliding in and instantly running towards Twist and hitting a Lou Thez press and throwing piston like right hands. ALLPR0 is huddled in the corner clutching his head and stomach from the beating by Twist and Lak. Legend gets off of Twist and bounces off the ropes flipping off Twist and hitting an elbow drop. Lak saw an opportunity though and climbed the turnbuckle behind the focused Legend. Lak jumps off the turnbuckle going for a diving clothesline on Legend who catches Lak in mid air without even turning around and hits a mid-air stunner!!!!
King: WOW!!! This is absolute insanity!!!!
Legend then picks up the nearly unconscious Twist holds two middle fingers in front of his face for nearly a minute and then kicks him in the gut and hits a third stunner!!! After running around the ring looking at the crowd in a crazed kind of way Legend asks for four beers. He catches all four of them and heads towards Twist. He breaks two open over him and dumps them on his face. He then gets up on a turnbuckle and breaks the other two and chugs them down while the crowd is going insane as the ring and maybe even the arena are shaking from the unprecedented noise level. ALLPR0 bends down to pick up his mic while Legend grabs Kreator's a takes a seat picking up one of the toppled over recliners.
Legend: I'mmmmmmmmmmmm Baaaaaaaaaccccccccckkkkkkkkkkkk!!!!!!!!!!
The crowd pops huge for this getting even louder!!!
King: I've missed Legend! What a way to make a return!
Cole: Who's this guy again!
Josh: Who care's who he was, he's on top of the world now!
AP: As I tried to tell you before Jands, this is only the begging! As I also said I'm ten moves ahead of you which I believe I just proved. Why have I been so far ahead of you this whole time though is the real question. Aside from my superior intellect its because I know you Jands, and figuring your opponent out is half the battle in any game, from chess to wrestling. Now for all of you to fully realize who I am we need to start at another beginning, the beginning of my career here in the TV. Com wrestling federation.
Legend: Kind of wish I had some popcorn for this, guess beer will have to do!
AP: Did anyone wonder where I came from before I joined this company? I trained around the globe for years from the time I was twelve years old I was getting tutelage from some of the greatest names in wrestling. I found I was a natural at the sport being able to utilize my usually superior speed and technical ability and my always superior mind. I found that in all of my practice sessions I was better than all of the men and woman who taught me there vast knowledge wrestling moves and techniques. When I was sure I was finally ready to join a promotion I had many offers world wide but I had one company in mind, that company was the TV. Com wrestling federation. Known worldwide for its superiority in all facets of the business. Unfortunately at the time it was also just as infamous as it was famous, mainly due to one group and that group was Insurrextion.
Legend: Oh this is where it gets good!
Cole: I don't need to know the guy's life story.
King: Shut up Cole!!!!!!!!!!
AP: I had watched from a distance while IX slowly gained influence in the company, run by the notorious GM of the company Hurricane. With the other GM of the company, doing absolutely nothing about the wild IX letting them run wherever they please, and yes Jands that GM is you, a few people decided to put up a fight of their own. This surge of rebellion was led by two men, Deadnight-Majin and Nickylucas, not only were these the men that were attempting to destroy IX, they actually created it.
Cole: We all already know this.....
King: If I have to tell you to shut up one more time Cole you won't go home happy tonight.
Cole: What are you going to do about it?
Josh turns to his side and punches Cole in the face knocking him out as he crumples onto the table.
King: Thanks for saving his life Josh. If I would have gotten my hands on that Punk..... It wouldn't have been pretty.
AP: These two men came up with an excellent plan, as they would soon tell me Nicky would take IX head on attempting to halt their plans for the short term while Majin would try to gain influence and prestige in the company by winning titles and hopefully gaining followers. This strategy worked with limited success though because of the limited man power available. That's where I came in.
Legend: This is where it gets really good!
AP: They searched for a long time to find someone who they could place as an inside man in IX, they had to be smart enough to be a double agent for a long period of time without getting caught, so they contacted me. I came into the round table signing a contract by Hurricane to join IX instantly. The thing is I never officially signed that contract!
AP: As a security precaution and being the genius that I am I never actually signed the contract with my real name, I signed it with an O when my name is actually spelled with a 0. This means that I was never actually an official member of IX.
King: Woah never saw that coming!
AP: So back on track, my first match was with one of the men who recruited me, Nickylucas. We decided that there was no better way for me to gain the full trust of IX other than to face one of their heated rivals in a match. I lost of course but the point was too "hurt" Nicky enough to make him take time off from bothering IX. This way I got in with IX and gave Nicky some much needed time off for recovery and strategizing against IX. Over the next few months I had varying success in a very prestigious company while staying very close with my fellow members of IX. That's when I decided I had to act, I found out that Nicky's injuries were worse than I had thought and he wouldn't be back for a good amount of time. With me being a part of IX and Majin fighting other battles I needed someone else to help me fight IX, this person needed to be a master at creating chaos and be the opposite of my strategic building mind. I needed someone who could destroy a giant like IX with nothing except their own skills, I knew one man who was perfect for the job so I ended up recruiting him.
Legend: This is where I come in actually.
Josh: What!? ALLPR0 recruited Legend!
King: Josh that's my chatchphrase! But I still second that WHAT!?!?!?
Legend: I had been following a similar traning regiment as ALLPR0 did in his early career. He noticed my skill set and realized I was the perfect man for the jobs he needed done. It was no coincidene that my first match in the company was against the man who recruited me, just like ALLPR0 before me I lost my first match to my recruiter but that didn't hurt our plans, it was actually all apart of it.
AP: After building Legend up in the eyes of the company through our feud we ended it with a famous match where if I won then Legend would become my assitant.
Josh: That's what I've been wondering about, how did this fit into their plan the whole time?
AP: I of course won the match and Legend became my assitant, now this strategy might confuse you. Logically Legend was restriced by being my assitant but strategically he was in the perfect position to create chaos. You see, I could never do what Legend was able to do from my position as a member of IX. Legend how ever was in the unique position of being as close to IX as an actual member of it without actually being in the stable. This allowed him to find out all of the info on their plans that I was but he was also able to act on that info by interfering in IX strategies and causing chaos anywhere IX went.
Legend: I'm good at what I do what can I say? Two more!
AP: Speaking of that contract!
AP pulls out Legend's personal service contract to him and rips it into a bunch of pieces and drops it on the mat. Legend hands him a beer and he pours it over it and hands it back to Legend.
King: So he was never really ALLPR0's personal assistant?
Josh: Right King. It was all a plan to help fight IX.
AP: After Legend had created enough problems for IX and I had become the LHC defeating Majin who had moved onto bigger and better things, IX was at its weakest. With Twist being gone due to injury and some inconsistent showings as a stable, the only good thing the stable had going was my LHC reign. Nicky decided it was no or never to make his return and attack IX while it was weak. By the time Nicky returned there were plenty of people willing to fight IX, this group of strong willed individuals re-formed a popular stable known as RT. Inc which along with Jake Frato, Nicky led in the fight against IX. This whole time I had been planning something by myself. Its not that I didn't trust Nicky or Jake, it was just that I didn't feel safe making this plan anything more than need to know. This plan of course was the plan for Legend to be kidnapped.
Josh: Wait am I hearing this right? ALLPR0 wanted Legend to be kidnapped after all he did to bring him to the company?
King: And Legend was okay with this plan?
Legend: I had done everything I could to stop IX as ALLPR0's personal assistant, holding IX off until Nicky could make his return. I actually came to ALLPR0 with the idea for my own kidnapping. This way I could let Nicky and RT. Inc fight IX while I fought from the shadows as the masked man. While I was playing the part of ALLPR0's assistant I would have to be careful not to cross some lines which would be too risky for a traditional assistant to cross. That would throw suspicion towards ALLPR0 wondering why he couldn't keep his own assistant under any type of control. This way as the masked man I had no rules to follow so I could do what I do best, create chaos.
ALLPR0: Of course we couldn't make Legend's identity too obvious to IX or anyone else, if he was discovered then IX would have never let him see the light of day. That is why we had to reluctantly carry out a few attacks on IX's enemy RT. Inc, mainly the strongest of them who was of course Nicky.
Legend: I almost couldn't push myself to do it but I hired a man to drive the car into RT. Inc leader Jake Frato while I was in the parking lot, I also hired a small group of masked men to attack Twist and Nicky ordering my men specifically not to seriously hurt either of them, only do enough to make it look like a serious threat was being posed to RT. Inc. This way when I returned as the masked man I could finally end IX without there being any suspician of the true identity of the masked man. Unfortunately I didn't expect Jake Frato's loyalty following IX back to Hurricane's mansion and trying to free me.
AP: After checking security cameras from one night I noticed Frato looking into the basement where Legend was supposed to be a prisoner. When I found out about his attempt to free Legned I had to improvise and have Legend dress back up as the masked man and be sure to be seen leaving the basement while I took out IX who were all too drunk to know what was going on. This way it appeared that Legend had been kidnapped again but this time by the masked man.
Legend: When in reality I was the masked man all along!
Josh:............ How did they think this all through?
King: Ummmm because they really didn't like IX.
AP: Finally after months of fighting we had broken IX's morale enough for Twist, Lak, and Hockey all to leave the stable. With the only members left being Hurricane, Dude, and myself IX was finally finished by imploding on itself. I thought this was finally the end of my fight but it was once again only the beginning. My allies in the fight against IX now had two new members pledging their loyalty to RT. Inc. This didn't last long of course as Twist and Lak still being unchanged men after leaving IX retired Jake Frato taking over RT. Inc for themselves.
Legned: Although I wanted to make my in ring return at this point in time I knew I couldn't quite do that yet. I had to end what was once an honorable organization in RT. Inc. So ALLPR0 suggested I do what I do best again, create chaos for RT. Inc as the masked man thwarting their plans at every stop. Unfortunately this also meant hurting Nicky who was a reluctant member of RT. Inc at this point. Thankfully he quickly got out of RT. Inc leaving me guiltless when attacking Twist and Lak these past few weeks.
ALLPR0: Then we ended another stable in RT. Inc who also imploded amongst themselves with Nicky, and Telivis both leaving after Frato was forced out as leader. We once again thought it was safe for Legend to come back and for me to move on with my career but now a new evil has show its face.
Legend: That new face is your ugly a$$ one Jands!
ALLPR0: Interfering in the finals last Friday was the last straw and I knew that it was about time that we show our hand and go all in revealing the masked man and bringing Legend back tonight!
Legend: I hope you all enjoyed story time!
Raw is just about to go off air when Curse by disturbed hits and Nicky walks down to the ring with a mic with a confused look on his face.
Josh: We're well past an hour after Raw was supposed to go off air.
King: Shhhhh! Josh I want to hear this.
Nicky:....... I don't understand.
Legend: I'm sorry!
AP: I am as well!
Nicky: No, I understand why you did what you did, trust me I'm a tough cookie and I could take a lot more than what you guys occasionally dished out at me. In the end we did what we set out to do, what I don't understand is why you couldn't tell me. I know it was need to know and the less people you tell the less chance there is of it getting out. I just can't wrap my mind around the idea of you ALLPR0, trusting Legend as quickly as you did with something that important when you've known me since before you became a part of this company and yet you still don't trust me as much as you trust him......
Josh: I just got word we're going off air in three minutes!
King: No! Hurry up and answer Nicky's question!
Legend: You see......
Legend and ALLPR0 simultaneously: WE'RE BROTHERS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
The camera shows the shocked faces of Nicky, King, Josh, and everyone in the audience as Raw goes off air.
OOC: Hope everyone liked this super revealing promo! In case you're wondering yes Legend and I are brothers in real life also and if you want a link to my IX contract I signed here you go! http://www.tv.com/wwe-monday-night-raw/show/4822/night-of-champions-roundtable-sign-up-thread/topic/3328-2295479/msgs.html?page=1
OOC: That was one of the greatest promo's ever, and it has inspired me and this happens after the Commercial from Deadnight promo and it's before Allpro's promo.
Raw comes back from the commercial.
J.R.: Just a few seconds ago Deadnight-Majin was carried to the back by security.
The King: After he wouldn't leave the ring. A Video shows Deadnight being carried to the back.
Cole: And SECURITY NEEDED TO COME OUT! He was way out of line. But hold on i'm getting news that Uprising will be out here .... Right Now.
*Hellraisers* hits and Uprising comes out with Uprising shirts and Mics.
JandS: Last week the Uprising began .... this week i will tell you why. See this Round Table is being run by Liars, Fakes, Phonies, and Hypocrites. Guys like Crulex, Hurricane, and Slick. They will use backstage politics, while i'm an innocent man who is just trying to fix this Round Table (Crowd Boos). But even though i'm trying my best there are ignorant and arrogant jobbers like Deadnight who seem to blame me for their problems.
Well no more of the ungrateful and no more of the fakes. Because i'm going to take over this Round Table, with the Uprising. The Uprising is the future, only the best of the best are in here. I'm one of the very few Triple Crown Champions and i'm a master at this Stable War stuff. But i'm not the only one who is experienced here, why don't you lay it on them Lak.
Lak: When you talk about one of the fatest rising stars you better be talking about me. I'm was trained by a future Hall of Famer even if he is a complete doofus, i'm a former Light Heavyweight Champion, and i'm one part of the one of the greatest Tag Teams ever. Not to mention that i'm a 2 time TV.Com Tag Team Champion. And my star will only continue to rise with the help of the Uprising.
Twist: While Lakmisdra is the fattest rising star in all of the Round Table, i'm still the most under appreciated Round Tabler of them all. I'm a former Light Heavyweight Champion, i ........
Twist's phone rings.
Twist: Hold on......
Twist looks at his phone.
Twist: I gotta to take this.
Twist goes into the corner of the ring talking to some woman on the other line.
JandS: That's odd...
Lak: You get use to it.
JandS: Ok, back to the point, the Uprising is here and we're going to take over the Round Table but we're going to need some more back up that is why Deadnight i have a proposition for you.
Deadnight you're a great talent, if you weren't such a rebellious punk you would have been one of the first people i would have given a spot to in Uprising. But i see that i'm going to have to show you. That Deadnight if you get rid of that attitude of your's and with me teaching you, you could be a star.
So Deadnight how about at Summerslam if i beat you then you join Uprising. Because you need Deadnight and Uprising would like to have you.
But Deadnight if you decline we understand, but that will just give me more reason to kick your A** at Summerslam and when i will do you will know you were the first victim of the Uprising, and while Uprising is going to greater heights you will fall flat on your face and fail like any other Round Tablers that dare step up to face us. Because the Uprising is here and the Round Tablers will soon be ours, while the rest of you will all fall.
JandSman drops the Mic, and Twist ends his phone call. Then Uprising taunts as *Hellraisers* hits.
|Goldenagenick Twitter wrote:|
|You know that Hurricane's got a lot of nerve calling me out like that. Last time I checked people don't run their mouths in this business to others who have had their backs on the mat for a three count. I've heard the rumblings and I didn't want to believe it, but I think i'm started to buy into it. The TWF is now corrupt.|
|Jake Frato RT Blog wrote:|
|Im....Im very shocked. One of the best segments in TWF history. Allpr0 and Legend, brothers! I did not see it coming, but man, both Legend, who was already my friend, and Allpr0, who was once a bitter rival, are now high up in my book. So, I noticed that Goldenage Nick will be doing battle with Qforidi at Summerslam. It sucks that JandS is forcing him into matches at every PPV. Think about this....Nick wins the Royal Rumble in 2012! Imagine the shock and awe! Hurricane and Spidey's feud is taking a turn in the EPIC direction. I can not wait to take Hurricane Del Oro on at Summerslam Axxess in my final match. Who knows, maybe facing him in a match will get me back into the swing of things, you know, get me pumped back up! All I can say is Twist, I am still working out, and working out hard!|
OOC: Hurricane, you are okay with me facing you at Summerslam Axxess, right?
OOC: So all this time my NXT Rookie was Allpr0's brother? Wow... I didn't see that one coming at all. Nice twist in the Allpr0/Legend saga.
|ZackRyder Twitter wrote:|
|Broskis' did you see me on Raw last night? I teamed with Santino! Sure, I lost the match, and was even the one pinned, but still! That is so going on Z! True Long Island Story on Thursday. Oh, and I also scored an interview with my Broski, TWF United States Champion, Spideynerd. It is going to be Bro-Tastic! #WWWYKI|
|JeremyPiven Twitter wrote:|
|Hey Pac-Man Flyer, I'm Spideynerd the Third's number one fan! I'm going to be in his corner at SummerFest to see him beat Cyclone La Doorman! It is going to be the greatest thing since Entourage came on the air! I can't wait to watch your PM! Falso Short Land Book show on Thursday to watch your interview with mis friendo. Zap Zap Zap, I don't care!|
(The following happens in Omaha, Nebraska. A golden jet lands on a giant field of corn and out from the jet steps out Ricardo Rodriguez.)
Random Woman Corn Field Worker: Well howdy there golden jet folk, welcome to Nebrasker, the land of infinite corn fields!
Random Soviet Russian Man Field Worker: In Soviet Russia, corn grows you!
Ricardo Rodriguez: Damas y caballeros, por favor, levantense y ayudenme a introducirles a la sed de excelencia, la unica cosa buena que a pasado en la historia de este estado de perdedores, y el orgullo de Mexicooooo!! El es...HURACAAAANN DEEEELL OOORROOO!!!
(Hurricane steps out of the golden jet on to the giant field of corn, while wearing a $5000 dollar Calvin Klein business suit while butler Randy Orton follows him closely behind playing "Burn in my Light" very loudly via an iPad 2 with a golden cover.)
Corn Field Woman Worker: We don't get very many visitors here in the Cornhusker state, where are ya'll from?
Ricardo Rodriguez: SILENCIO!!! Fijense en la maravilla que es Huracan Del Oro!
(Hurricane approaches the two corn field workers and then stops in front of them. He lifts up both of his arms and nails trademark signature arm pose. Maria and Batista both step out of the jet and light some sparklers as they pretend as if a shower of golden glitter is raining down behind Hurricane. They even make the "sssss" sound that the sparkles would typically make as they hit the floor.)
Batista: YEAH! What she said!
Corn Field Woman Worker: Well howdy there folk, I don't quite know what all this fancy shmancy stuff is but I'm pleased to meet you all. Welcome to Nebraskr, I'm the mayor, governor, and one of the senators for this here state! This is my husband, he's from Soviet Russia, he's also a senator!
Man Worker: In Soviet Russia, You screw unicameral legislature!
Randy Orton: Heh! You corn loving losers don't even have a House of Representatives?! What a barren wasteland of mediocrity! Master Hurricane, I think I want to kick them in the balls for running a state that's so pathetic and thinly populated. Then I'm going to punt them in the skull just for kicks, and then RKO them off the Spanish announce table...TWICE!!
Hurricane: That's ridiculous Randy...everyone knows that the Nebraska treasury department can't afford a Spanish announce table.
Woman Worker: Awww, someone's a bit grumpy, here have some corn, that usually cheers anyone up!
(Hurricane looks at the corn that the woman worker is presenting to him and then Batista slaps the vegetable right out of her hand.)
Batista: Get that edible cattle alimentation out of our faces, you fat fourteen year old!
Maria: Ughh! What a disgusting place, Hurricane what are we doing here anyway? All there is to do here is eat corn, grow corn, oh and I guess inbreed as well.
Hurricane: We're on a mission, that's what we're doing here! Now, you two clueless Nebraskan field workers, where is Omaha?
Woman Worker: Why you're standing on it!
Hurricane: What the? This is it? This corn field is the biggest city/town in the state?
Woman Worker: Yep, this husk of corn you're standing on is the mayor's office, my office, and that kernel of corn over there is my chair! We even got a strip mall over there in the distance! I hear they're going to put a Chili's in the strip mall sometime in the next few weeks. That's going to be incredible!
Hurricane: Yes, quite. Where does that loser Spideynerd live!?
Woman Worker: Right over there, on top of that field of recycled corn husks! It's the only house in the entire state!
Maria: Well that was easier than I thought. Aww Hurricane, we found the house, we can totally expose Spideynerd for the loser he really is now! I love you and your superior intellect! Do you love me back!?
Hurricane: Kay, thanks. Alright you filthy Nebraskan senators, thanks for your cooperation, now look over there, it's a McDonald's!
(Both of the field workers turn around in awe as they stare in the direction where Hurricane is pointing towards.)
Woman Worker: Happy Gasp! A McDonald's! I've heard so many rumors and legends about those, apparently they have food there that doesn't have corn on it! It's incredible! They even have these things called French Fries!
Man Worker: Oh ho ho! In Soviet Russia, fries french YOU!!
(As both workers are staring off in to the distance like idiots, Hurricane and his crew quietly run towards Spideynerd's manor and break in to his house. A man rocking back and forth on his wooden chair greets them.)
???: Aww shucks, looks like we got visitors, and it ain't the nice inbreeding senators who love corn from across the street neither! Miriam, get over here wife and meet our visitors!
Miriam: Well I do believe I rec'ernize you folk. You in the middle, you're that Hurricane Of Ore guy who appears on the pitcher box! Well come on in, put down that crow bar and step on inside! Your friends can come in too! Everyone can come inside, just remember to take your shoes off, this here is a barefoot home! Mmmm Nebraskan lifestyle!
Hurricane: Uhhhhh thanks, I guess.
Miriam: Now don't be shy, my husband Billy Ray Miles Cyrus-Jones Guthrey Terwillinger loves to have visitors from out of state. Ya'll come from that TV land, right?!
Batista: Actually, we're the heart and fists of the biggest globally recognized entertainment empire in the world! I am Dave Batista, I'm the fists, and I don't care about you, I care about me!!!
Billy Ray: Oh, our nephew Spideynerd who lives with us works for that TV mumbo jumbo organization too. We got family members all over the place in that there buildin'! My second cousin's three times removed's sons Legend and AllPR0 work there too! Did you know Legend and AllPR0 are brothers as well? That thing caught me off guard like a husk of corn on lonely Interstate 80!
Maria (whispering to Hurricane): Hurricane I'm scared, that simile made absolutely no logical sense whatsoever.
Hurricane (whispering to Maria): Don't worry, we'll be out of here in a jiffy, we're almost done!
Hurricane (speaking loudly to Miriam and Billy Ray): Well, I know this is going to sound like an odd question, but do you have any evidence or shall we say dirt on something that might expose Spideyloser...err I mean, Spideynerd as a pathetic leeching good for nothing loser parasite to this planet?.......Please!
Billy Ray: Well gwarsh, our nephew is usually such a bang up individual that I don't think he's done anything bad in his entire life in order to constitute such a severe judgment.
Batista: Pfft, figures these fat losers wouldn't have anything against the nerd!
Billy Ray: But Spidey loves to keep this diary around and he periodically updates it. I don't know what he calls it, his tweet log, something like that, I don't know, but here you can have it! If Spidey has ever done anything bad, he's likely to have written it down in this here diary.
Hurricane: Wait, you're just going to give me Spidey's diary like that, no strings attached whatsoever?!
Miriam: Well sure, why not! Family values are over-rated, they're like burnt corn on a cob with no mayonnaise.
(All of a sudden there's a long pause and then Miriam and Billy Ray look at each other and then the married couple proceeds to burst out laughing.)
Billy Ray: OH har har har! That's a good one honey!
Miriam: Here herr herr! Yeah, I don't know where I come up with this stuff, it just comes to me! Herr herr herr!
(Hurricane, Maria, Ricardo, Randy and Batista all stare at the laughing couple with their mouths wide open. Half stricken with fear, and half stricken with disgust.)
Maria: Hurricane, can we please go now! They're laughing is so weird, it's spelled with an "h" instead of a "j"! This non-partisan state filled with losers has creeped me out long enough! I want to go home, back to my wonderful city lights, in your wonderfully luxurious Coolsville mansion made of gold!
Hurricane: Yeah, let's get out of here, I've had enough of this mediocrity!
(Hurricane and company sprint out of the house while Billy Ray and Miriam continue to laugh nonsensically. They board their jet made of gold and depart at full speed back to Hurricane's mansion made of gold. On the corn field beneath them, the corn field working senators wave goodbye to them.)
Woman Worker: Well now ya'll come back anytime yer like!
Man Worker: In Soviet Russia, sayin' just you!
OOC: Great promo Hurricane! Just one thing, I'm from Lincoln, and as far as I know I have no family in Omaha. Otherwise it was flawless.
|MiriamTerwillinger Twitter wrote:|
|I is new to this her Tweeter thin. That good man Hurricane from the piktr box set me up with this here thin! Hi C... I mean "Spideynerd". Us her in Nebraskr sure do miss you! Hope you visit us soon! Luv you bunches nephew!|
|TheREALBRMC-JGT Twitter wrote:|
|Miriam, get off that ther Tweeter thin and make me dinner! Oh, and luvs you nephew, C... er, "Spideynerd"!|
|MiriamTerwillinger Twitter wrote:|
|Hon, what do you reckin we have for dinner? I was thinkin we have some fried corn with mashed corn and a side of corn.|
|TheREALBRMC-JGT Twitter wrote:|
|I want Steak hon! You know that my brother, C... er, "Spideynerd's" dad is a meat cutter! Just call him up on that fancy Thumbtack callin device of yours!|
|HurricaneDelOrooooooo Twitter wrote:|
|That is the last time I make Twitter accounts for anyone related to Spideyloser... Speaking of, his diary has some interesting things in it... Things that will shock the world! JaJaJa! LQTM!|
ok i leave for canada on thursday so here is a quick promo
that and i cant think of anything to type i need some help with my promos
*posted on tv.com
tv.com superstar gamerguy was found knocked unconcious backstage at the moment there is no evidence more on this story when the investigation continues