The World Heavyweight Championship might've not been on the line, but this was one of the best PPV's I've seen in awhile!
8.9
World Heavyweight Champion Batista and WWE Champion John Cena vs. King Booker and Finlay.
Isn't it weird that at last year's Armageddon, Batista, instead of putting the title on the line, competed in tag team action. And he does it again this year. Except, this time, instead of facing two RAW wrestlers, he teams with a RAW wrestler to take on two Smackdown wrestlers. Let's hope next year the belt is on the line. But, that's next year. Let's stop thinking about the future, and live for today. That's what my counselor told me. Anyway, this was an okay, passible tag team match, but somewhat disappointing to headline a PPV. I'll admit, the promos were excellent for this match, as was the build-up. But, like I mentioned before, I would've rather seen the title on the line. Heck, they could've teamed King Booker up with Umaga, and the winning team would be World Heavyweight and WWE Champion. Too bad it's too late for WWE to take this idea. Story here is Finlay and Booker trying to take out the champion, so the champ enlists another champ, or, as some call him, THE CHAMP (I don't), RAW's WWE Champion, John Cena, to help him out. Wow, when I look at it, this a weird match. A rapper, an animal, an irishman, and a King. It sounds like a prelude to a joke. "So a rapper, an animal, an irishman, and a King walk into a bar...". The match could've went a little longer than 10 minutes, mainly since they still had 20 minutes left in the PPV. But, WWE doesn't tend to go past about 2 and a half hours. Why? I mean, if the PPV goes too long, it's not like it's cutting into the next PPV. It's a repeat of the same PPV. Cena and Batista end up picking up the win.
WINNER(S): Batista and Cena
LOSER(S): Smackdown, for, two years in a row, haven't put the title on the line at Armageddon; King Booker, who's kingdom seems to be falling apart; Montel Vontavious Porter vs. Kane in an Inferno Match.
An inferno match can end up being one of the worst matches in history, but nobody would notice because the fire always adds a nice pop. And everybody likes seeing someone set on fire. They don't? Only sick freaks do? Well, at least I have a reputation now. Thankfully, the match wasn't half bad. The inferno rules apply here like always. No, I don't mean the rules of the match (though they do apply here, obviously). I mean the rule that the loser must be the one who has so much attire on, that the fire would nowhere reach the wrestler's body. In this case, it makes MVP the loser. And guess what. I was right. Wow, that's an interesting change. Kane is usually always losing this match. But, now a power ranger has entered WWE, so Kane is off the hook. Will I ever stop using these power ranger jokes on MVP? NO! Best part in the match was when Kane dove off the turnbuckle onto MVP on the outside. The fire made this look even more amazing. The win comes when Kane choke-pushes (does that make sense?) MVP into the fire, setting him ablaze (and JBL into a frenzy).
WINNER(S): Kane; WWE, for finally bringing back an interesting match concept
LOSER(S): MVP, for being burned like a hamburger at one of JR's barbecues; Kane. Oh wait, he won an Inferno match for a change. Scratch that last part. Kane, you are a winner! Congratulations!
Undertaker vs. Kennedy in a Last Ride Match.
WWE may proclaim this as the second Last Ride match. But, wouldn't it techically be the third, if you count the Ambulance match (pitting Kane vs. Shane McMahon) back at Survivor Series 2003? With that aside, this was another not half-bad match. It might've went slow at a few times, but the match picked up with some huge pops. teh biggest pop had to have been when Mr. Kennedy tossed Undertaker of the castle-like structure in the entrance way. Sure, it was easily visible that Taker landed on matting, making him invulnerable to pain (unless those are those mats we had in High School. You know, the ones that, when you fell on them, hurt like hell). It wasn't a bad idea for WWE to resurrect this match (Armageddon is all about huge pops and resurrections. Weird.), but it's not something I want to see on a daily basis. An alright match. Undertaker, not surprisingly, ends up winning.
WINNER(S): Undertaker, for winning this one, unlike last time when he was beaten by JBL; JBL, for being able to sit back and watch this match, unlike last time, where, even though he won, got his ass kicked badly
LOSER(S): Mr. Kennedy, for not keeping his winning streak over the Undertaker intact, and for having his first name almost identical to his last name. His parents were cruel to him.
United States Champion Chris Benoit vs. Chavo Guerrero for the US Title.
You think after all of the matches that these two have fought against each other, that this would be a specialty match. But, I guess with an Inferno match, a Last Ride match, and a four-way tag team Ladder match, there wasn't much room for another specialty match. Not a problem though, since these two performed a lot better in a one-on-one wrestling match than they probably would have done in a specialty match. The match was great, as these two mat technicians gave it their all tonight, and almost stole the show, which seemed hard to do with all of the crowded matches going on. The only problem would have to be the storyline. It has made me sick that WWE has used Eddie Guerrero's death (R.I.P.) in a storyline, let alone for almost a whole year. But, with that aside, this was, like mentioned before, a great and incredible match. Benoit ends up getting yet another victory over Chavo Guerrero Jr., and retains his United States championship.
WINNER(S):Chris Benoit, for, unlike Mr. Kennedy, keeping his winning streak on his rival
LOSER(S): Chavo, for not only losing, but disgracing the Guerrero name by exploiting his Uncle Eddie's death; Vickie Guerrero, for also disgracing her husband; Chris Benoit. No, this is not a typo. He may have put on one helluva match, but the fact that he's U.S. champion, and not in contention for the World Heavyweight Championship (a belt he once held) is sad. Cruiserweight Champion Gregory Helms vs. Jimmy Yang Wang for the Cruiserweight Title.
The fans might've booed this match, but I loved it! I thought it was an awesome display by, not only the champion (who is finally putting the title on the line), but also by the newcomer Jimmy Wang Yang. Now, of course, Wang Yang isn't new to the sport. If I'm not mistaken, he's not even new to WWE (he had a small stint a couple of years ago). But, that doesn't mean I still can't give him credit. The best thing about the match is that, not only Wang Yang, but Helms did some high-flying moves of his own. Ever since he dropped his Hurricane persona, Helms hasn't been a high-flyer like he used to be. It's nice to see him going back to his roots. Gregory Helms ends up winning and retaining the title.
WINNER(S): Gregory Helms, for three things. 1.) Winning the match and retaining his title. 2.) Going back to his roots and doing some high-flying moves. And 3.) For finally putting his title on the line
LOSER(S): Jimmy Wang Yang, for having a ridiculous gimmick; the fans in attendance, for booing this match. Idiots.
WWE tag Team Champions Brian Kendrick and Paul London vs. William Regal and Dave Taylor, MNM and The Hardy's for the tag Team Titles. What a match! Everybody in this match deserves credit. I have never seen so many people put their bodies on the line since the Dudleyz and the Hardyz feuded in matches such as tables and TLC's. Even Regal & Taylor (who, after Regal's "coming out" incident at No Mercy, I will now call Penis and Pal") did well in a match that really didn't suit them well. And who didn't laugh when both of them were both afraid to climb the ladder? Yeah, well screw you Paul! If it wasn't for Penis and Pal, the tag champions would've been the underdogs. Though, surprisingly, they put on some of the more interesting moves of the match. Of course, the veterans of this match, the Hardyz, put on the best displays here, even breaking Joey Mercury's nose. Way to go, Hardyz! You make me so proud to be your father. I don't care if I'm not their father, Paul, I'm proud of them. Well, screw you Paul! Screw you! MNM also put on one hell of a display here, especially Nitro, who actually doesn't mind doing some flips and high-flying moves. I guess when you're around Paris Hilton a lot, you're used to flipping her over and getting high. Kendrick and London (who I shall call "The Phantoms" because of their masks that they wear) eventually pick up the huge win. Incredible match!
WINNER(S): Everybody
LOSER(S): Paul, for being a jerk The Boogeyman vs. The Miz
I'm going to make this review as quick as this match. IT SUCKED! Boogeyman wins. That was quick.
WINNER(S): Boogeyman, I guess. I must now keep to my deal with him and, for winning the match, buy him a big bag of gummy worms
LOSER(S): The time keeper, for his job during this match beign way too easy.
Match of the Night: Fatal-Four-Way Tag Team Ladder Match
Worst Match of the Night: Boogeyman vs. The Miz (if you can call it a match)
Moment of the Night: I don't think there was really moments, per se. So, I'll just say seeing MVP running around on fire. Overall Thoughts: Great PPV. Smackdown pulled itself out of a rut with this one.moreless