Now before we get on to this review, allow me to explain something. Basically it's a lingering problem with the WWE as a whole. Now what is that problem you ask? The inability, lack or complete retarded laziness of creating new stars.
Yeah, and usually when you think someone new is getting pushed (mostly someone the fans can easily get into whether they be face or heel), leave it to the creative staff to completely botch it and move us right back to square one when they start to panic....that being pushing the SAME guys over and over again. And believe me, we see quite a few moments of this as the night progresses. Seriously, they could've taken this night and easily elevate some of the younger guys they have, that way fans can look at them in a good way to either cheer or boo them and not look completely bored when they hear their entrance music. So let's get this review started:
Classic Survivor Series Match #1
The Showstoppers (HBK, Mysterio, Khali and Cryme Tyme) Vs Wall Street (JBL, Kane, MVP, Miz and Morrison)
Yeah none of that Team HBK vs Team JBL from me. Anyways, this was a fairly decent opener to start off the night, but as I had mentioned beforehand, no one other than John Morrison came out looking good when this was over. Sure, Shad of Cryme Tyme looked okay but, what of JTG? He was the first one eliminated after receiving the weakest link treatment. And it also didn't help that the match didn't last a good 30 minutes or so. Sorry, but when you have matches like these, you can't expect them to be pathetically short as this one was.
*sigh* The remaining survivors of this match were HBK, Khali and Mysterio. Three guys who are already big and don't really need that much more pushing if you get my drift.
Match Rating: **1/4
Classic Survivor Series Match #2
Team SmackDown (Michelle McCool, Maryse, Victoria, Natalya Neidhart and Maria) Vs Team Raw (Beth Phoenix, Mickie James, Candice Michelle, Kelly Kelly and Jillian Hall)
MAN. The Fabulous Moolah would be rolling in her grave after seeing this. For people who don't know, try to find the 1987 Survivor Series PPV and watch the Women's Survivor Series match at that time. Very good match between the 10 ladies they had. THIS one, was BAD. Horrible. Full of botches. Absolutely horrifying. They have 4 ladies who can put on a good match with just about anybody, which is good. Everyone else ranged from decent to awful to "okay you just plain suck, never ever wrestle again."
Beth Phoenix was the sole survivor (thank God) and quite honestly I don't ever want to see another women's match like that ever again.
Match Rating: *
The Big Show Vs The Undertaker
Where do I start with this one? Usually when you hear the words "casket match," you'd expect a pretty damn good fight between The Undertaker. Yeah, you didn't get any this time. In all honesty, a lot of Taker/Big Show matches in 2008 were bad. No Mercy was kinda meh, Cyber Sunday felt like a big letdown and now this. It felt more like a boxing match than anything else and we all know how well other sports other than "wrestling" work if not booked properly *ahem* Styles Vs Trigg at Hard Justice *ahem*
The only good thing out of this were 2 things: Big Show destroying the first casket and the way the match initially ended: on the stage with another casket propped up with Big Show being thrown into it and the lid shutting as they came crashing down, giving the Undertaker the win. It was a pretty "unique" way to end the match, but it didn't help that it was pretty crappy.
Classic Survivor Series Match #3
The Animals (Batista, R-Truth, Matt Hardy, C.M. Punk and Kofi Kingston) Vs The Age of Orton (Randy Orton, Cody Rhodes, Mark Henry, Shelton Benjamin and William Regal)
Now THIS is where my little problem with the WWE's futile attempt at pushing new stars. On The Animals we have Punk, Kingston and R-Truth; 3 faces that are over with the crowd and can easily be pushed to made look good even if they don't survive. On Orton's side we have Shelton Benjamin, who was (and still is) in desperate need of a rub to get the fans into him. Batista and Matt Hardy don't need it, Orton and Mark Henry sure as hell don't need it, Regal may need it since he had recently won the I.C. title.....and Cody Rhodes should just disappear cause I have no clue what WWE sees in him other than his surname.
This match though, while it was better than the others we had, didn't quite do much other than push the feud between Orton and Batista even more while everyone else were just pawns in a way. Regal got eliminated very quickly and then the Animals went down really fast. R-Truth gone, Kingston gone by Orton (never stood a chance), Punk by Rhodes (WHAT) and Matt by Mark Henry. Which left Batista all alone to easily dispose of Mark Henry and Shelton Benjamin within a 60-second timeframe. Wow, what a way to make the teammates look like utter jokes.
To be completely honest, this was easily the better classic Survivor Series match of the entire night, with Orton surviving along with Cody Rhodes (ugh). But the fact that they left Batista alone to pretty much dominate while his team looked incredibly weak, just goes to show that unless your name is Cena, Batista, Orton, Triple H, Michaels, JBL, Jeff Hardy, Edge or Taker, you're not gonna get pushed to the point where fans could take you serious. Kinda sad cause everyone in that match could've easily looked good when it was all set and done.
Match Rating: **3/4
WWE Championship Match
Triple H (c) Vs Vladmir Kozlov Vs Jeff Hardy?
Before the PPV started, we were told that Jeff Hardy was found unconscious in his hotel room. While everyone on the Internet started getting awful flashbacks of 2005 (Eddie Guerrero's death), this was all a storyline. Kinda distasteful knowing how Jeff Hardy's past is and how Eddie basically was found the EXACT SAME WAY. Meh, what can you do when you have a company that rarely learns from their mistakes?
So because of this, we were left with Trips and Kozlov........God this match blew. It was worse than the women's match, which speaks volume cause this is supposed to be SmackDown's MAIN EVENT HERE. Now, Vince was high on Kozlov back then (and still probably is). That night should've showed why he was so wrong on so many levels. And you could tell by the crowd that they hated this match. We got "We Want Jeff" chants, "Boring" chants, hell we got a very weak "TNA" chant. The match was that boring. Plus I'm pretty sure when it was over, Trips probably said "I was doing what I was told and it was Kozlov's fault that the fans crapped all over the match." WRONG. As a veteran of the locker it is his job to go out there and make other people look good (which he has a bad time at doing), so in my eyes, it was also his fault that the match sucked along with Kozlov.
There was one thing that saved the match. No, not Jeff Hardy. EDGE. Yes, Edge returned (who looked like he hadn't shaved in months) and dethroned Triple H. That, was good cause Trips' title reign was boring as all hell. Yeah, Jeff Hardy did show up (told you it was a storyline) but he didn't do much. *sigh* As much as I like Edge, not even his return could save this match from being a dud.
Match Rating: dud
World Heavyweight Championship Match
Chris Jericho (c) Vs John Cena
Yep, this PPV also was going to showcase the inevitable return of John Cena. And how ironic that he came back in his hometown to boot.
Well, 4 words best describe this: Match....of....the....Night. Both Jericho and Cena have great chemistry together and it showed in this match. Well, almost. Cena was showing some major ring rust in this match. I mean, 3 months of rehab from neck surgery will do that to a man.
As the match came to a conclusion, John Cena walked out of Boston as the new World Heavyweight champion.....and everyone on the Internet started to whine. As always. Me? I honestly didn't care if Cena won. The dude is over, he makes the WWE a lot of money, he's a good asset for them and I was happy to see him back. You'd have to be a cruel bastard to have glee when Cena went down to a neck injury and that's all I'm going to say about that.
Match Rating: ***1/2
Unfortunately, one good main event does not save a PPV from being sucky. This was worse than Night of Champions and not to mention several wrestlers did not look better than they did going out of the PPV as they were coming in, other than the main eventers which easily showcases another problem with the WWE even more.
It's a good thing that Armageddon was good, otherwise the role they had after SummerSlam would've been killed off right there.
My word of advice: avoid this PPV. Only good quality parts of it were Edge's return and Cena Vs Jericho.