Dominic: (no expression in his voice) Hey, buddy, I can't wait to share my cool toys with you. Wow, buddy, put 'er there.
Jimmy: Hey, what's in the box?
Jimmy: What, are you throwing a costume party?
Greg: Well, if you must know, yes, these are costumes. Uh, Kim and I decided to spice up our love life with a little role-playing. And I must admit, it worked. We had some amazing nights of very passionate lovemaking.
Jimmy: Look, Greg, if you don't want to invite me to your party, just say so.
Jimmy: Hey, where's Dominic?
Christine: He's in there watching TV with Ronnie. They got picked on at school today for putting on a show during recess.
Jimmy: See? I knew it. See, Christine? This is why I wanted them to play baseball. It's America's favorite pastime. You know what America's second favorite pastime is? Beating up kids who sing showtunes at recess.
Christine: Wow, Jimmy, you really did a great thing.
Jimmy: But this isn't supposed to be what happens! Dominic's supposed to make Ronnie more like him, not the other way around!
Greg: Aw, but look, they're having so much fun.
Jimmy: This isn't baseball!
Greg: Well, who knows? Maybe they'll do Damn Yankees next.
Harold: I, uh, brought Ronnie's backpack. It has a few of his toys.
Jimmy: Oh, no, we got plenty.
Harold: Well, you know, it also has extra sunscreen, his gluten-free snacks, and a pair of clean pants in case he, uh... [laughs] well, you know, sometimes he gets a little excited, and he, uh... just keep the bag.
Jimmy: Okay, Ronnie, we have got a ton of cool, fun things for you to do today. Do you know how to play baseball?
Jimmy: Well, you know what? It's Dominic's favorite sport. Maybe he could teach you.
Ronnie: I don't know. Baseball's scary.
Greg: Yeah, tell me about it. My cousin got hit by a line drive when he was ten, and they had to wire his jaw shut. The blender was broken, so for a few days, my aunt had to chew his food for him.
Jimmy: Okay, careful, Greg. The kid's only got one extra pair of pants.
Greg: Man, I wish there were parents like you when I went to school. Then maybe I wouldn't have got picked on so much for taking Home Ec.
Jimmy: You took Home Ec?
Greg: My mother assured me that a man that could cook was a great catch, and she was right. She just didn't tell me once they caught me, they were going to beat me with my own rolling pin.
Music: "It's the Hard-Knock Life" (from the musical Annie), performed by Joel Homan and Max Prado