Jimmy: They have a Pizza Hut and a Taco Bell in the same restaurant. Imagine never having to make that decision again.
Greg: (laying on vibrating bed) How can anyone enjoy this?
Kim: Shut up and get more change!
Attractive Woman: The whole weekend in wine country? How romantic.
Jimmy: My wife and I made love after watching that movie.
Attractive Woman: Sideways?
Jimmy: No, I think I was on my back.
Jimmy: Come on, I'll get you a Cinnabon.
Greg: You don't have to buy me a Cinnabon.
Jimmy: You're right, I don't. (whips out coupon) Buy one, get one free!
Christine: Greg, the vacation has already started. For example, I just went to the bathroom, and it wasn't to hide from my kids and cry.
Greg: I can be spontaneous. Remember when we checked out of that hotel in the middle of the night to go to Ojai?
Kim: Greg, the hotel was on fire. We jumped out.