Jimmy: Where's his number?
Greg: I think it's on the bulletin board.
Jimmy: Here it is. Gordon Mustdie.
Greg: Jimmy, that says, "Gordon must die."
Christine: Kim, why don't you just do what I used to do when a guy didn't return my call?
Kim: I don't think making out with his brother is gonna help.
Greg: Well, okay. Say he calls back. Now what am I supposed to say?
Jimmy: Well, you could just talk to him man-to-man. Okay? You, you just gotta tell him the one thing that every guy can understand and sympathize with—tell him your wife is crazy.
Kim: It's done. I wanted to surprise you. He finished in half the time he thought, and the price was lower than all the other estimates.
Kim: I did it all by myself, Greg. Hired a guy, figured out what I wanted, paid him—and you didn't have to lift a finger.
Greg: Well, actually, I did lift a finger a few times, but it was never where Gordon could see it.
Greg: You just say you can handle these projects around the house by yourself, but you always end up dragging me into it.
Kim: I do not.
Greg: Then how do I know what a pillow sham is, Kim? How do I know that?
Christine: What is that?
Greg: It's a pillowcase you can't even put your head on.
Christine: That is a sham.
Kim: Greg, I thought you would want to be involved in this, but, fine, I can do this by myself.
Greg: Well, you say you can, but you can't. It's like when Emily says she can go to the bathroom by herself. Either way, I'm going to be up to my elbows in crap.
Kim: Scurry on out without apologizing. Guess you're just too much of a cowardly rat to admit how wrong you were.
Greg: Okay, drive safe!
Gordon: Hey, I didn't come back because I was wrong. I came back because your husband called me and explained to me you were crazy.
Greg: They're going to art galleries together, having lunch. It's like I'm paying the guy $500 a day to date my wife.
Jimmy: I think you're a little jealous.
Jimmy: I think maybe you're a little threatened that your wife just found someone with some common interest who isn't you.
Greg: I couldn't care less. I don't like talking about art and design and all that stuff. Besides, why be jealous of that guy?
Jimmy: Yeah, I guess he is kinda nerdy-looking.
Christine: Yeah, and we all know Kim is only attracted to big, muscly, model-looking types.
Kim: I don't want the fireplace to pull focus from the rest of the room. But the hearth should be the centerpiece of the home.
Jimmy: Yeah... back in the guesthouse, we feel the same way about our space heater.
Christine: We wanted to put it closer to the bed, but that made it too hot. Then we wanted to put it by the window, but then there was a chance that the curtains might catch on fire.
Jimmy: As it turned out, more than a chance.
Gordon: So, uh, where did you study art?
Kim: How did you know I studied art?
Gordon: Oh, come on, look at this place. It should be on a canvas.
Kim: I got a B.A. from the University of Virginia.
Greg: Yeah, and you're getting some B.S. right here in your own living room.
Gordon: We could go with "Pumpkin."
Kim: I like it, but I don't think Greg will go for "Pumpkin." He doesn't like colors with girly-sounding names.
Gordon: No problem. I've dealt with lots of husbands like him before. From now on, we'll call it "New Basketball."
Kim: He'll love it! Oh, and if we end up going with the "Avocado," we'll call it "Golf Course Green."
Greg: So, your buddy, Gordon, kinda messed up, didn't he?
Kim: It's not a big deal. He's coming by tomorrow to take some pictures for his portfolio, and I'll show it to him and he'll fix it.
Greg: Oh, yeah, he messes up and you're all patient. Last week, I get a little pee on the floor, and I never hear the end of it.
Kim: Greg, it was the kitchen floor.
John Mendoza played a casino dealer in the pilot.
Jean Kelly whistling "Singin' in the Rain" is a nod to the star and co-director of the 1952 film of the same name, Gene Kelly.