Bernard: Of course in the Service, CMG stands for "Call Me God". And KCMG for "Kindly Call Me God"
Hacker: What does GCMG stand for?
Bernard: "God Calls Me God"
Jim Hacker: What am I going to do with all this correspondence?
Bernard Woolley: You do realize you don't actually have to, Minister.
Jim Hacker: Don't I?
Bernard Woolley: Not if you don't want to, we can draft an official reply.
Jim Hacker: What's an official reply?
Bernard Woolley: It just says, The Minister has asked me to thank you for your letter and we say something like, The matter is under consideration, or even if we feel so inclined under active consideration.
Jim Hacker: What's the difference?
Bernard Woolley: Well, under consideration means we've lost the file, under active consideration means we're trying to find it.
Jim Hacker: Martin, what's all this about Buranda?
Martin (Foreign Secretary): What's all what?
Jim: There's been a coup d'état.
Martin: How do you know?
Jim: Well, it was on the news. Didn't you see? Don't you know? You're Foreign Secretary, for God's sake.
Martin: Yes, but my TV set is on the blink.
Jim: Your TV set? Don't you get Foreign Office telegrams?
Martin: Oh, they always come in later. I get all the Foreign news from TV.