Sir Humphrey: Tax fiddles?
Sir Desmond: Well, they placed their own interpretation on Treasury regulations. Someone has to interpret them.
Sir Humphrey: What about the Treasury's interpretation?
Sir Desmond: It didn't seem appropriate.
Jim Hacker: Why should you be adamant that I should allow another cover-up? What's in it for you?
Sir Humphrey: Nothing, Prime Minister. I assure you I have no private ulterior motive. I am trying to protect you from yourself. I mean, I am entirely on your side.
Dorothy Wainwright: How can we believe that?
Sir Humphrey: Because this time it is true!
Jim Hacker: As you know, I have got to appoint a new Governor of the Bank of England. I'd welcome your views.
Sir Desmond: Well, I certainly think you should appoint one.
Sir Humphrey: When you wish to suggest that somebody is perhaps not the ideal choice...
Bernard Woolley: ...you rubbish them?
Sir Humphrey: No, the first stage is to express absolute support.
Bernard Woolley: Why?
Sir Humphrey: Because you don't want to go on record as saying somebody is no good. You must be seen to be their friend. After all, it is necessary to get behind someone before you can stab them in the back.
Jim Hacker: Don't tell me about the press. I know exactly who reads the papers. The Daily Mirror is read by people who think they run the country; The Gaurdian is read by people who think they ought to run the country; The Times is read by the people who actually do run the country; The Daily Mail is read by the wives of the people who run the country; Financial Times is read by people who own the country; The Morning Star is read by people who think the country ought to be run by another country; and The Daily Telegraph is read by people who think it is.
Sir Humphrey: And Prime Minister, what about the people who read The Sun.
Bernard Woolley: Sun readers don't care who runs the country as long as she's got big tits.
Sir Desmond Glazebrook previously appeared in the Yes Minister episodes Jobs for the Boys and The Quality of Life.