Yo Momma Forums

Weekdays 6:00 PM on MTV - Music TelevisionBetween Seasons

Yo Momma Joke Contest

  • Avatar of Gamingod2272

    Gamingod2272

    [21]May 8, 2006
    • member since: 05/02/04
    • level: 7
    • rank: Talk Show Host
    • posts: 33

    I love Yo Momma jokes been around 'em all my life I've made up some on the list below and others are from the school, street, "In Livin Color, etc.  I am a big fan and hope you love and enjoy thses jokes as much as I have. (Plus they're freaking hilarious!!!!!)

    Yo momma like a squirrel, she always has nuts in her mouth.

    Yo momma so fat she stands in two time zones.

    Yo momma so fat you have to grease the door frame and hold a twinkie on the other side just to get her through.

    Yo momma so fat when she goes to an all you can eat buffet, they have to install speed bumps.

    Yo momma so fat that she can't tie her own shoes.

    Yo momma so fat sets off car alarms when she runs.

    Yo momma so fat she can't reach her back pocket.

    Yo momma so fat when she wears a Malcomn-X T-shirt, helicopters try to land on her back!

    Yo momma so fat she uses redwoods to pick her teeth.

    Yo momma so fat the only pictures you have of her are satellite pictures.

    Yo momma so fat she put on some BVD's and by the time they reached her waist they spelled out boulevard.

    Yo momma so fat she stepped on a rainbow and made Skittles.

    Yo momma so fat she uses a mattress for a tampon.

    Yo momma so fat she hoola-hooped the super bowl.

    Yo momma so fat they tie a rope around her shoulders and drag her through a tunnel when they want to clean it.

    Yo momma so fat when she got hit by a bus, she said, "Who threw that rock?"

    Yo momma so fat when she stands in a left-turn lane it gives her the green arrow!

    Yo momma so fat she uses I-95 for a Slip 'n Slide.

    Yo momma so fat that when whe was born, she gave the hospital stretch marks.

    Yo momma so fat the National Weather Agency has to assign names to her farts!

    Yo momma so fat we went to the drive-in and didn't have to pay because we dressed her as a Chevrolet.

    Yo momma so fat she was Miss Arizona -- class Battleship.

    Yo momma so fat she accidently got a 757 caught in her teeth.

    Yo momma so fat to her, "light food," means under 4 Tons!

    Yo momma so fat she went on a date with high heels on and came back with sandals!

    Yo momma so fat and stupid, her waist size is larger than her IQ!

    Yo momma so fat she was zoned for commercial development.

    Yo momma so fat she won, "Miss Bessie the Cow 94."

    Yo momma so fat she has her own brand of jeans: FA - FatAss Jeans.

    Yo momma so black.... where'd ya go?

    Yo momma so stupid she studied for a rectal exam.

    Yo momma is so fat people do a marathon around her

    Yo momma's teeth are so yellow that when she smiles traffic comes to a halt.

    Yo momma so toothless that it takes her an hour to eat minute rice.

    Yo momma is like a vacuum she sucks, blows, and gets stored in the closet.

    Yo momma's face so oily people are going to war over it.

    Yo momma so fat that when she wears a t-shirt with a H a helicopter lands on it.

    Yo momma so fat... we're in her right now

    Yo momma is so fat that when she steps on a scale it says, "To infinity and beyond!"

    Yo momma is so fat that when she steps on a scale it says, "Please do not weigh livestock."

    Yo momma so fat she is AN ARMY OF ONE

    Yo momma is so poor her clock only has one hand

    Yo momma so poor when somebody killed a roach she said, "Who killed the family pet?"

    Yo momma so poor that when a ciggarette burned out she asked, "Who turned off the heat?"

    Yo momma is like a scooter you like to ride her, but you're embarrased if you're found riding her."

    Yo momma so fat that she wears a red shirt everyone starts yelling, "Kool Aid"

    Yo momma so fat her cereal bowl has a lifeguard.

    Yo momma so wrinkled you have to screw her hat on.

    Yo momma is like a light, even a three year old can turn her on.

    Yo momma is like the Pillsburry Doughboy everyone gets to poke her.

    Yo momma so fat that after sex she smokes turkey.

    Yo momma is like a door knob everyone gets to turn her.

    Yo momma so fat that when people drive on the freeway they look out for her.

    Yo momma is so old that when God said, "Let there be light." He asked her to move.

    Yo momma is so old she was Jesus' babysitter

    Yo momma so fat the after sex I had to roll three times to get off her.

    Yo momma so ugly that when she stepped outside she was arrested for mooning.

    Yo momma so fat that when people see her on the beach they think it's a beached whaleThis Show Sucks, but It's perfect for posting!

    Edited on 05/08/2006 6:42pm
    Edited 3 total times.
    You must be registered and logged in to post a message.
  • Avatar of ryflyguy

    ryflyguy

    [22]May 9, 2006
    • member since: 03/08/06
    • level: 14
    • rank: Autobot
    • posts: 1,666

    wow, those are good

    here is another one i liked

    Yo momma so ugly when i took her to the zoo they said thanks for bringin her back!

    o and

    Yo momma have dungbells in her room, but it looks like the only time she lifts weight is when she get up off the bed!

    last one

    Yo momma so stupid she got locked in a matress store and slept on the ground!

    You must be registered and logged in to post a message.
  • Avatar of JLUVANIME

    JLUVANIME

    [23]May 14, 2006
    • member since: 03/22/06
    • level: 6
    • rank: Small Wonder
    • posts: 163
    Yo mamma is so dumb she went to the Clippers game to get a hair cut.
    You must be registered and logged in to post a message.
  • Avatar of Aj_stealth

    Aj_stealth

    [24]May 15, 2006
    • member since: 08/15/05
    • level: 3
    • rank: Soup Nazi
    • posts: 20

    here's one i made up(not from show)

    your momma so fat,she got fired from NASA, cause she would not float on space.

    yo momma so ugly, anyone who thinks shes beautiful, got strike by a lightning.

    yo momma so lazy, she got fired from being a housewife.

    yo momma so fat, she won a noble prize for losing weight.

    yo momma so stupid, she failed a survey test.

    Yo momma so stupid, she needs a calculator to tell time.

    yo momma so ugly and stupid, she was hired by "yo momma show" as a warmup target.

    You must be registered and logged in to post a message.
  • Avatar of macallengirl28

    macallengirl28

    [25]May 18, 2006
    • member since: 04/24/06
    • level: 1
    • rank: Weatherman
    • posts: 110

    Here are some you guys might have already heard, but they are just some of my favorites,

    Yo Momma so fat, she was walkin' to Walmart, tripped on K-Mark, and fell on Target. Thanks to Ashley R. For that one!!!

    Yo Momma so fat, god couldn't light the Earth until she moved.

    Yo Momma so fat, she fell in love and broke it.

    Yo Momma easy she's like a light switch, even four year olds can turn her on!! LOL

    Yo Momma's like a toilet, she full of SH*T

    Yo Momma's like a vaccum cleaner, she sucks, she blows, and she get's laid in the closet!! LOL

    Yo Momma so dirty, bigfoot took a picture of her!! LOL

    You must be registered and logged in to post a message.
  • Avatar of akdorsey27

    akdorsey27

    [26]May 18, 2006
    • member since: 04/17/04
    • level: 29
    • rank: Volgar the Enforcer
    • posts: 1,324

    lol I like the one about the vacuum cleaner.
    You must be registered and logged in to post a message.
  • Avatar of jtw2213

    jtw2213

    [27]May 19, 2006
    • member since: 03/18/05
    • level: 2
    • rank: Sweat Hog
    • posts: 13

    (In Livin Color, Wheel of Dozens)

    Yo Momma so fat she plays hopscotch like this: LA, Boston, New York, Compton

    Yo Momma so stupid she tripped over a cordless phone

    Yo Momma so fat she smokes turkeys after sex

    Yo Momma so fat she drunk half the ocean and was thirsty

    Yo Momma so small she drowned in a 6" kiddie pool

    You must be registered and logged in to post a message.
  • Avatar of jtw2213

    jtw2213

    [28]May 19, 2006
    • member since: 03/18/05
    • level: 2
    • rank: Sweat Hog
    • posts: 13
    And if u watch In Livin Color, I made the last 2 up
    You must be registered and logged in to post a message.
  • Avatar of Osirismon

    Osirismon

    [29]May 21, 2006
    • member since: 11/29/04
    • level: 5
    • rank: Caveman Lawyer
    • posts: 9

    Yo momma's so ugly, she got rich working as an exterminator, because she can kill pests on sight.

    Yo momma's so cheap, and her teeth so yellow, when you were a kid, she slept with you as an excuse to not buy a nitelite.

    Yo momma's so fat, her tattoos were done by graffiti artists.

    You must be registered and logged in to post a message.
  • Avatar of speedster679

    speedster679

    [30]May 27, 2006
    • member since: 02/05/05
    • level: 3
    • rank: Soup Nazi
    • posts: 34

    Yo Momma so stupid she brought a spoon to the Super Bowl

    Yo Mommas just like a public library, open to everyone

    Yo Mommas like a dorknob everyone gets a turn

    Edited on 05/27/2006 1:21pm
    You must be registered and logged in to post a message.
  • Avatar of jackolanternx6

    jackolanternx6

    [31]May 30, 2006
    • member since: 05/27/06
    • level: 2
    • rank: Sweat Hog
    • posts: 11
    [This message was deleted at the request of the original poster]
    Edited on 05/30/2006 2:30pm
    You must be registered and logged in to post a message.
  • Avatar of jackolanternx6

    jackolanternx6

    [32]May 30, 2006
    • member since: 05/27/06
    • level: 2
    • rank: Sweat Hog
    • posts: 11
    [This message was deleted at the request of the original poster]
    Edited on 05/30/2006 2:05pm
    You must be registered and logged in to post a message.
  • Avatar of jackolanternx6

    jackolanternx6

    [33]May 30, 2006
    • member since: 05/27/06
    • level: 2
    • rank: Sweat Hog
    • posts: 11
    [This message was deleted at the request of the original poster]
    Edited on 05/30/2006 2:29pm
    You must be registered and logged in to post a message.
  • Avatar of jackolanternx6

    jackolanternx6

    [34]May 30, 2006
    • member since: 05/27/06
    • level: 2
    • rank: Sweat Hog
    • posts: 11

    [QUOTE="jackolanternx6"]Yo Momma so cockeye when she walked in her house she walked right back out.
    Yo Momma so poor that she was on ebay.

    Yo Momma so fat anytime she jumps her breasts pop.

    Yo Momma so fat that anytime she eats her breasts explode.

    Yo Momma so stupaid that she put deoderant on her lips.

    Yo Momma so ugly she started World War 4.

    Yo Momma so black that she made the black eyed peas stop singing.

    Yo Momma so fat people use her as a teleflotion device.

    Yo Momma so stupaid she bought 207 pills.

    Yo Momma toes so dirty it look like a crunched up peanut.
    You must be registered and logged in to post a message.
  • Avatar of colakid12

    colakid12

    [35]Jun 3, 2006
    • member since: 06/29/05
    • level: 21
    • rank: Snagglepuss
    • posts: 2,020

    These are bit suggestive so, tell the young ones to turn away.

     Your momma is so poor she put an I.O.U in a stripers Gstring.

     Your momma so stupid she swiped her credit card in a strippers butt and took the money out of his Gstring.

    You must be registered and logged in to post a message.
  • Avatar of ryflyguy

    ryflyguy

    [36]Jun 5, 2006
    • member since: 03/08/06
    • level: 14
    • rank: Autobot
    • posts: 1,666

    Yo momma so old anf fat, she was the first ever car wash

    You must be registered and logged in to post a message.
  • Avatar of akdorsey27

    akdorsey27

    [37]Jun 5, 2006
    • member since: 04/17/04
    • level: 29
    • rank: Volgar the Enforcer
    • posts: 1,324

    Yo Momma has so many corns on her feet, she had to put up a scarecrow.
    You must be registered and logged in to post a message.
  • Avatar of AllstarWDW

    AllstarWDW

    [38]Jun 8, 2006
    • member since: 08/11/03
    • level: 8
    • rank: Super-Friend
    • posts: 27


    Your momma’s like a race car… she burns 4 rubbers every time
    out.



    Yo momma so fat she saw a black limo full of white folks and said, GIMME that Ding-Dong! (also works for a bus full of whit kids and a twinkie).



    Yo momma so fat shes on both side of the family tree.



    Yo momma so fat when she walks around in Texas
    in high heels, she strikes oil!



    Yo momma so fat, the last time she saw 90210 was on the
    scale!



    Yo momma so fat when her beeper goes off, people thought she
    was backing up.



    Yo momma so fat she was floating in the ocean and Spain
    claimed her for the new world.



    You must be registered and logged in to post a message.
  • Avatar of kurby123

    kurby123

    [39]Jun 11, 2006
    • member since: 12/19/05
    • level: 19
    • rank: Fall Guy
    • posts: 2,545
    These are all hilarious jokes.
    You must be registered and logged in to post a message.
  • Avatar of evil_cm

    evil_cm

    [40]Jun 17, 2006
    • member since: 01/23/06
    • level: 12
    • rank: Evil Bert
    • posts: 563
    Yo mama so greasy she used bacon as a band-aid!

    Yo mama so greasy she sweats Crisco!

    Yo mama so greasy Texaco buys Oil from her

    Yo mamma is so lod she got a autographed Bible.

    YO mamma is so stupid, she got stuck in grocry store and starved to death.

    Yo mama so poor your family ate cereal with a fork to save milk.
    You must be registered and logged in to post a message.