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Mark Del Figgalo
This is the first time someone used the word "gravy" regarding looks. The second time is in "Quinn Misses the Mark."
Stacey: What's up my peeps?
Logan: For all I know while I was walking back here, you went back to that hallway with your hockey stick and beat Dean River's trophy to death!
Logan: How do I know you really went to the snack machine. Prove it!
Michael: I can't, I already digested the doodle cake.
Michael: We're under dorm arrest. If my grandma hears my name in the same sentence with the word arrest that lady's gonna back up over me with her pick-up truck. She's got big old tracter tires on that thing.
Michael: I am freaking out! I am freaking out man!
Lola: No! That sounds like effort, and I wanna work on my sun tan.
Quinn: I'm sure they're innocent.
Lola: They're guilty!
Lola: Quiet clown!
Zoey: Michael just called me and said that he and Lo ... why is Quinn a clown?
Lola: I got bored.
Quinn: There's not gonna be anyone here.
Dean Rivers: So make that a postitive thing. You've got the whole campus to yourselves. Just you guys, me, and a couple of faculty members.
Michael: (about Coco) That woman does do a lot of eating and crying!
Dean Rivers: Did you smash my trophy?
Shaymus: Well it wasn't the twinkle fairy, now was it?
Lola: DID YOU SMASH THE TROPHY?
Shaymus: I never smashed nothing, you little chicken!
Zoey: We're sorry we bothered you!
Shaymus: I'm sorry she exists!
Zoey: So you're sure you were nowhere near the admin building last night between midnight and 1 a.m?
Lunch Lady: I'm sure. I was already in bed asleep by 10-
Lola: WE'RE NOT IDIOTS!
Lunch Lady: I-I never called you an-
Lola: WHERE WERE YOU LAST NIGHT BETWEEN MIDNIGHT AND 1 A.M?
Lunch Lady: Now you're scaring me!
Zoey: 'Scuse us! (drags Lola away)
Lola: She's a liar! That's a lying lunch lady!
Michael: How come you're so calm about all of this?
Logan: Because...I'm rich, and I'm innocent. I'm also great looking, but that's just gravy.
Dean Rivers: This trophy was on display on the first floor of this building. I admired it myself, last night on my way out. But when I walked in this morning, it looked like this!
Logan: Maybe...you fell on it?
Dean Rivers: I DIDN'T FALL ON IT! ...If I fell on it, how would I not know?
Logan: 'Cause old people forget stuff?
Dean Rivers: You both know why you're here? Well? You want to confess?
Michael: I'm sorry! My apple tasted funny so I just heaved it! I didn't know it was gonna hit that squirrel!
Logan: I have no idea what he's talking about.
Dean Rivers: This isn't about squirrels or fruit!
Zoey: Coco had a meltdown and took off.
Dean Rivers: Oh, she didn't take a PCA van, did she?
Mark: She did...
Dean Rivers: Oh, dang it! Every time she takes one of our vans, it comes back smelling like fried chicken and tears!
Zoey: Who packs a whole suitcase of ravioli and underwear?
(Coco is crying)
Zoey: Um, Coco?
Coco: I can't go camping! Leave me alone!
Lola: Okay, what do you mean, you can't go camping?
Zoey: What's the problem?
Coco: I thought Carl, my boyfriend, might be cheating on me!
Coco: So I went to his house, and I climbed up the tree in his front yard to wait for him to come home, right? And I thought he was going to bring home another girl, which he did, but it was his mother!
Logan: Okay well, that's good!
Coco: No! Because the branch I was sitting on broke, and I fell on her!
Lola: Oh my God!
Zoey: Was she hurt?
Coco: I don't know! Carl said she has a fractured neck or something.
Michael: Okay so, then what happened?
Coco: He called me a lunatic and then broke up with me, so now I have to drive to Fresno and fix this!
Shaymus: Face it Rivers, you've lost your edge! You're no match for me, you business suit-wearing daffodil!
Tagline: "Quiet, clown!" -Lola
Although credited, Paul Butcher (Dustin) does not appear in this episode.
Shaymus: (with an Irish accent) Say hello to me wee friend! (he pulls out a leaf blower and turns it on).
This is a play off of the famous quote by Al Pacino in the movie, Scarface. The original quote is "Say hello to my little friend!" while Pacino pulls out a gun and starts shooting.
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