Zoey 101

Season 1 Episode 4

Defending Dustin

Aired Sunday 8:00 PM Jan 23, 2005 on Nickelodeon
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Episode Summary

A bully, Keith Finch, forces Dustin to do his homework after Dustin corrects one of Keith's answers in math. Zoey finds out and stands up for Dustin, but just makes things worse. Dustin thinks that she makes him look like a baby. Finally, Zoey tells Herb, a janitor and a very good actor, to pretend to be the dean of discipline. Keith gets a note to go to the principals office and there he gets disciplined by Herb. Dustin then stands up to Keith. Dana goes off campus to get Elvis, Chase and Michael's dog, back from the pound, even though the DA does not allow it.moreless

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Ian Barford

Ian Barford

Janitor Herb

Guest Star

Michael Tyler Henry

Michael Tyler Henry

Mike the Bully

Guest Star

Cameron Lee

Cameron Lee

Student (uncredited)

Guest Star

Jessica Chaffin

Jessica Chaffin


Recurring Role

Trivia, Notes, Quotes and Allusions


  • TRIVIA (7)

  • QUOTES (21)

    • Chase: Elvis! How'd you get him back?
      Dana: I snuck off campus, took a bus to the animal shelter and got him back.
      Zoey: Aw, see you do love him!
      Chase: I think she does!
      Dana: I do not.
      Nicole: Yes you do! Dana loves Elvis!
      Zoey and Nicole: Dana loves Elvis!
      Dana: Okay! But if any of you tell anyone that I did something nice, I'll mess you up!

    • Janitor Herb: (acting as the Dean of Discipline) If I EVER hear of you bothering any student on the PCA campus, especially younger ones, I'll expel you faster then pigtails on a giraffe, do you understand?!
      Keith: Yes, sir! ...Except for the giraffe part.
      Janitor Herb: GET OUT!

    • Chase: (about Dustin) Well I mean, you do kinda baby him sometimes.
      Zoey: (hitting him) I do not!
      Chase: Okay, that bruise should appear in about twenty minutes!

    • Zoey: Dustin, you do not need to be eating junk like that. (takes the snack from him)
      Chase: (taking the snack from Zoey) She's right, you gotta dip this in chocolate syrup. Way better.
      Zoey: (snatching it back) Chase!

    • Chase: Herb's awesome. Watch, do some Shakespeare!
      Janitor Herb: Oh, I-I don't know...I-I don't like to- For who would bear the whips and scorns of time? The oppressor's wrong, the proud man's contumely-
      Zoey: Contumely? (Chase shrugs)
      Janitor Herb: -the pangs of despised love.
      Zoey: (clapping) Wow, impressive!
      Chase: What does that mean?
      Janitor Herb: I got no idea.
      Chase: I had a feeling.

    • Chase: Hi.
      Zoey: Hi.
      (Zoey sits down next to Chase)
      Chase: You upset about Dustin?
      Zoey: No, I just want to sit. Go ahead, read your book.
      Chase: Okay.
      (short silence)
      Zoey: How can you read a book when I'm so upset?
      Chase: Sorry, I should be more sensitive.

    • Keith: Alright, Dustin. Since you're so smart, you're going to do my math homework for me.
      Dustin: But I-
      Keith: And my history homework.
      Dustin: But I don't think it's right for-
      Keith: AND my French homework.
      Dustin: But I don't know French.
      Keith: Then you've got a lot of work to do, don't ya?
      Dustin: Oui...

    • Janitor Herb: For who doth mop the chunks of lunch spewed forth by the nauseous and the queasy? 'Tis the noble janitor... (walks off)
      Zoey: He's a really good actor!
      Chase: And vomit mopper!

    • Teacher: (about Keith) Class, are his calculations correct?
      Dustin: (raising his hand) He used the wrong formula.
      Keith: What are you talking about?
      Dustin: I'll show ya! (walks up to the board) The formula to find the area of a circle, is πr^2, not 2πr. (turns to write out calculations on the board) So, the right answer is 196π.
      (Keith glares down at him)
      Dustin: Just saying.

    • Chase: That was the best acting any janitor has ever done!
      Janitor Herb: Thanks! Now, if you'll excuse me, there's a clogged toilet in the gym calling my name.
      (Zoey and Chase laugh)
      Zoey and Chase: Eww...

    • Nicole: (about Elvis the dog) Awww, he's so cute...wait, he's a "he," right? (they look underneath him) He's a "he!"
      Dana: Just keep him out of my stuff, or else he's gonna be a "she!"
      Nicole: Ouch!

    • Chase: DA is short for dorm advisor.
      Zoey: I know.
      Chase: OK. That's short for okay.
      Zoey: Stop it!

    • Zoey: You told him what?
      Chase: Well you know, that um... sometimes you gotta stand up to a guy like Keith and tell him off!
      Zoey: (hits Chase) Chase!
      Chase: Okay, what has this shoulder done to you?

    • Zoey: I do not treat Dustin like a baby!
      Chase: You do!
      Zoey: Why, 'cause I don't let him eat garbage like this? (talking about a bing bong)
      Chase: Garbage?! You're talking about the bing bong! Nature's perfect combination of chemicals and sugar!
      Zoey: I gotta go. (walks off)

    • Janitor Herb: (acting as the Dean of Discipline) I understand you've been harassing some of the younger students, is that correct?
      Keith: Well, I-
      Janitor Herb: Don't even think about lying!
      Keith: Yeah, I guess I have-
      Janitor Herb: Guess?
      Keith: Yes!
      Janitor Herb: Guess what? Come on, say it Finch, tell me!
      Keith: I-I pick on people!
      Janitor Herb: You mean you used to!

    • Keith: You have all my homework done by tomorrow morning, got it?
      Dustin: What happens if I don't?
      Keith: Bad, bad things.

    • Chase: Everyone gets hurt sometimes. You never been hurt?
      Zoey: No, not by a big, dumb bully!
      Chase: Well, then maybe it's time! (play tackles her) Oh yeah that's right, she's in trouble now, give me your lunch money!
      Zoey: Quit it!
      Chase: Give me your lunch money or I'll...
      (Zoey bites him)
      Chase: Ow! Did you bite me?
      Zoey: Maybe.
      Chase: Oh it's on!

    • Chase: You're fast!
      Zoey: Maybe you're just slow.
      Chase: Harsh.

    • Janitor Herb: Close the door and sit down. I'm very upset with you, Mr. Finch.
      Keith: You're not the principal.
      Janitor Herb: No back-sass!
      Keith: Who are you?
      Janitor Herb: I happen to be the Dean of Discipline!

    • Keith: Dustin-
      Dustin: Just be quiet!
      Keith: Huh? Look, I just came here to-
      Dustin: I'm sick of you, Keith Finch!
      I'm sick of you pushing me around!
      Keith: Dude-
      Dustin: And from now on, you do your own homework!
      Keith: Look, man-
      Dustin: And I'm not doing your stupid laundry, 'cause it smells bad, like you! From now on, just leave me alone, got it?
      Keith: Yeah. Sure, okay. (walks away)

    • Dustin's Friend: (after Dustin tells Keith off) Come on, let's go celebrate!
      Dustin: Nah, I think I'm just gonna go change my underwear.

  • NOTES (4)