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The title "Fake Roommate" refers to Logan and Michael pretending that they have a third roommate in order not to get another one.
Lola asks if Bob Ganoush pitches for the Lakers, but the Lakers are a basketball team. Therefore, they do not have a pitcher.
This is the second episode in which Dean Rivers is hospitalized. The first was in "Hot Dean."
Quinn: (about Coco) She's not that bad.
Lola: She took a group of sixth graders on a camping trip, and lost two of the boys.
Lola: Eww! This is not pudding, what is this goo?
Zoey: It's humus.
Coco: Yay!!! Coco's a dorm advisor again!
Mira: Alright! I'm sick! I take things! I don't want to, but I can't help it! I have a problem! (cries) Are you gonna fire me?
Dean Rivers: Well, duh!
Dean Rivers: Mira, can you explain why you have all these things here?
Mira: Well...of course! I'm...uh...I'm a...contestant...on a new reality show! It's called..."Take the Stuff!"
Lola: (to Dean Rivers) You don't have any peanut butter in your pocket, do ya?
Lola: When I was little, I only liked smooth peanut butter. But now I'm a chunky girl!
Lola: Well not that way!
Quinn: We finally have a dorm advisor that can actually help us with something.
Lola: I hope she can help me get a mouthful of peanut butter!
Quinn: How many signatures did you get?
Zoey: Not enough, you?
Lola: I just got one...some kid named "Pianute Buttiere."
Quinn: Some foreign kid?
Zoey: (looking at it) That says peanut butter...
Miss Burvich: FAKE! HE'S A FAKE BOY!!
Michael: Are you looking to catch a Portuguese head cold?
Miss Burvich: What is a Portuguese-
Michael: I'm not a doctor!
Quinn: (chasing a bunch of girls) I'll catch you eventually! Just sign the petition!
Dean Rivers: I don't like Coco! She almost killed me!
Zoey: But, you lived!
Lola: We like Mira!
Quinn: She's a really good dorm advisor!
Lola: She baked us cookies last night.
Zoey: Coco made us brownies once!
Lola: Yeah, then she ate them all and went to bed!
Quinn: And threw up in her sleep!
Zoey: Look, I'm so sorry about what happened.
Coco: I'm not. This job is fantastic.
Coco: Yeah, seriously. Don't worry about it. It's really great, um, sometimes they let me-
Old Woman: (from inside a stall) Oh my GOD! This toilet's stopped up! Do you mind?
Coco: Yes, ma'am.
Coco: (to woman) Hey! I'm Coco, ladies restroom attendant. You having a nice dinner? What'd you order? (sniffs her) Steak! (woman walks away)
Zoey: So, you're Coco's replacement?
Mira: Uh yeah, I guess you could say that!
Stacey: I met Mira before anyone!
Lola: Nice to meet ya!
Quinn: I'm Quinn.
Zoey: Zoey, that's Lola.
Mira: Quinn, Zoey, Lola. Got it!
Stacey: And I'm still Stacy! I'm from Massachusetts. Do you want to know my hobbies in alphabetical order? They're acrobatics, astronomy-
Lola: Hey! Could you talk less?
Lola: Either of you guys see the remote?
Quinn: It's right there.
(Lola reaches for it, unsuccessfully)
Lola: ...I'll just take a nap.
Coco: Dean! Dean Rivers! I am so sorry the lion scared you! He looked so friendly in the online brochure!
Dean Rivers: Come...closer...
(Coco leans in toward the Dean)
Dean Rivers: YOU'RE FIRED!
Michael: You spent fifteen grand on a movie man head?
Logan: WITH a certificate of authenticity!
Michael: (sarcastically) Oh, well then!
Michael: (about Chase) Well he's my best friend!
Logan: What about me?
Michael: You're my worst friend!
Logan: Dude, Chase is just gone for a while! He'll be back again someday!
Michael: You're making my best friend sound like Frosty the Snowman!
Coco: Once a year, I have to sit in his office while he tells me what a bad dorm advisor I am.
Lola: At least he's honest!
(Coco looks at her)
Lola: Oh, come on! You know you're awful!
Quinn, Lola, Zoey: Hey Coco!
Zoey: Ohhh, someone's been shopping!
Coco: Hey! I'm not in the mood for peppy cutesy!
Quinn: That's clearly humus.
Zoey: Which is made from eggplant.
Quinn: No, that's babaganoush.
Lola: Who is Bob Ganoush?
Zoey: (to a group of girls) Hey guys,will you sign this petition to bring Coco back? (the girls laugh)
Coco: KILL ME!! GO GET A HAMMER, COME BACK, AND KILL ME WITH IT!
This is the first of two episodes in season 4 that Miss Burvich is in. It is also her second appearance in the series, her first appearance was in the season 2 premiere, "Back To PCA."
Tagline: "Get out of here, you nutbar!" -Lola
Although credited, Paul Butcher (Dustin) does not appear in this episode.
This episode is the second part of the one hour season premiere that aired on January 27,2008.
An obvious spoof of Pottery Barn.
Coco: It's just that time of year.
When Quinn says "year" she's referring to the fact that most girls get really angry because it's that time of month. This fact is seen in a lot of shows.
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