Chase: No more grass, I can't take it!!
TV: Coming up next...weeds
Announcer: And now back to "Grass: Nature's Carpet!"
Dana: Okay, why are we watching this?
Dustin: I hate this experiment!
Quinn: I heard that!
Nicole: Are you sure people are going to pay money to smash a watermelon with a bat?
Zoey: Of course, boys love to smash things.
Michael: It's true!
Chase: We do enjoy the smashing!
Quinn: Look away!
Quinn: Because I'm paying you, now look away!
Quinn: (About her invention) If you start to fall asleep, it shocks you!
Dustin: It shocks me?
Nicole: He's kind of weird.
Dana: Kind of.
Zoey: Who cares, we got our fundraiser.
Zoey: Would it be okay if we....
Nicole: Please, please, please.
Zoey: Nicole, first I ask then you beg.
Zoey: They give discounts to schools.
Nicole: We go to a school!
(Zoey and Dana stare at her)
Michael: Face it Zoey, no one wants to sit in the sun and watch some lame band.
Dana: Tell that to Mr. Bermin when he sees what we've done to his baby.
Nicole: What do you think he'll say?
Zoey : He'll probably start with, give me my four-thousand dollars back!
Chase: (to Drake) Hey you're you!
Drake: Yes, I'm me!
Nicole: I'm not the one who pushed the shifter-thingy!
Dustin: Hey Zoey!
Zoey: Hey kiddo.
Dustin: Is it true?
Dustin: That you're going to get Drake Bell to perform at Spring Fling?
Dana: Sorry, but Drake's not coming.
Dustin: How come?
Nicole: His manager wants 5000 bucks.
Dustin: So get it.
Dana: (sarcastically) Sure, we can just get it from the 5000 dollar store.
Zoey: Nicole! Dana! Guess what I did!
Chase: You bought a universal remote?
Dana: Forget him. What did you do?
Zoey: I signed us up for the planning committee for this year's Spring Fling!
Nicole: My grandpa said that when he was young, they would change the channel by turning a dial.
Chase: You mean I have to get up?
Dana: Just do it.
Chase: I see no dial.
Nicole: Pa-pa lied to me?
Tagline: "Blaaaaaaa" -Quinn
Drake Bell makes an appearance and sings one of his songs entitled "Highway to Nowhere" in this episode.
Although credited, Matthew Underwood (Logan) does not appear in this episode.