American Idol keeps throwing curveballs at us during its Season 11 audition tour. Aspen? Seriously? There's undiscovered singing talent trudging up to the quad lift in Ugg boots and Prada ski goggles as we speak? I guess we'll find out! Here's the good, bad and ugly of Colorado's bougie alpine getaway.
The Good
The second this airy-voiced happy hippie showed up, I was smitten. Haley Smith is like a crunchy smoothie made by blending together the four Js of folk rock: Janice (Joplin), Joan (Baez), Judy (Collins) and Joni (Mitchell). As such, I am in love, and will follow her to the ends of the hiking trail. Her song choice, Rufus and Chaka Khan's "Tell Me Something Good," was ballsy, but the rendition was a little shaky. With some coaching, though, she could do interesting things.
Shelby Tweten is an extremely pretty girl from Minnesota with crippling bipolar disorder, which she is currently managing with medication. She sang a touching version of Carrie Underwood's "Temporary Home" that brought tears to J-Lo's eyes. Keep an eye on her; she should make it to finals.
Jairon Jackson is one of several contestants this season who offers some hope that Idol will veer away from country and back toward the realm of Rn'B. He sang a (pretty good) original composition with a sweet tenor. Seriously though, Jairon, what's with the XXXL V-neck and jorts? You are auditioning for tens of millions of people. Put on something nice!
Angie Zeiderman fills the Liza slot this year, a shameless showtune queen who aspires to Lady Gagadom. Her first number (from The Producers I think?) was insane, but J-Lo loved it. A second song, Linda Ronstadt's "Blue Bayou," even changed Broadway-hater Randy's mind. Someone had a J-Lo Angel in her corner.
The Bad
Curtis Gray is a shaggy-haired dude who looks like he should be snowboarding somewhere, not serenading J-Lo. His song was very mediocre, the kind of thing you'd expect one of the popular guys in high school to serenade to some cheerleader in the cafeteria on Valentine's Day, followed by the deafening cheers of a student body who just wants to bask in his aura, if only for one round of applause. Clearly the judges must have been unpopular in high school—all three loved it.
The Ugly
Tealana Hedgespeth has a name worthy of a Dickens novel and came dressed as a bespectacled banana, so needless to say, we love her already. Her performance of Melissa Etheridge's "Bring Me Some Water" was so adorably inept, so light-years away from anything remotely resembling competent, that the worse it got (and it did get increasingly worse the closer she got to the chorus), the more endearing she became. Godspeed, Tealana. We'd like to bring you some water, or maybe something a little harder. You're going to need it after you see this on TV.
With all the preamble about internal turkey testicles, I figured we were just enduring the gross in order to experience the sublime with Alanna Snare. Even without the creative "moos" added in by the editors, it was pretty clear Ms. Snare had laid a steaming paddy in the audition room.
I have a strange feeling Magic Cyclops is someone we already know. Crispin Glover? Danny Pintauro? Former New Jersey Governor Jim McGreevey? Is that you? Anyway, it was definitely a confusing act, but at least we know why he's called Magic Cyclops. (The story involves some strategically launched pyrotechnics.) And asking them to add the sad Incredible Hulk music to the footage of him walking away? Genius. Team Magic Cyclops! Bring him back.
Comments (8)
I really wanted Magic to go through. His singig wasnt bad and more importantly he's a character! He was funny and interesting. He reminded me of Russel Brand but weirder. Like Russel Brand's weird uncle that even Russel Brand finds to be quite odd.
Curtis Gray was singing the wrong words, it was irritating.
Magic Cyclops was the best, "we were very poor, we watched PBS and had a lot of BBC programming" ha!!!
Ha, I love how he knows what song he wants playing when he walks away, but he can't choose his own audition song.
Magic Cyclops was hilarious! It's obvious he was just there as a joke, he seemed to be very self-aware.
Yeah he is definitely less annoying than most of the contestants who go on AI only to get on TV.
I completely agree! It is always sort of sad/disturbing when someone like that thinks they are actually talented. But since Magic clearly knew what he was doing with his audition it was pure entertainment and wonderfully hilarious.
This whole show had very little to do with Aspen. The original auditions were in Denver, then 120 people who made the 2nd and 3rd cuts in Denver were later filmed in Aspen. There was not a single person on the show last night who lived anywhere near Aspen.
False advertising!