The Catherine Tate Show: Series 1, Episode 1
Episode score
7.4
Good
Series 1, Episode 1
- 1.
- Season: 1
- Episode: 1
- First Aired: 2/16/2004
- Prod Code: ICED061A
A young couple has to live in their car for their baby's sake. Also does Beyoncé have "bling" or "bing"? Read full recap »
- Writers:
- Derren LittenCatherine Tate
- Director:
- Gordon Anderson
- Stars:
- Catherine Tate (Various)
- Recurring Role:
- Mathew Horne (Various)
- Bruce MacKinnon (Various)
- Derren Litten (Various)
- Ella Kenion (Various)
- Lee Ross (Various)
- Niky Wardley (Various)
- Jonathan McGuinnes (Various)
- Guest Star:
- Angela McHale (Various)
- Jonathan Bee (Various)
- Francesca Isherwood (Various)
- Michael Brandon (Various)
- The two office women work at "Callas & Sait". edit »
- Not Drunk Enough Woman: Well, here we are then
Man: Thanks for a lovely evening.
Not Drunk Enough Woman: No no, thank you. Well, goodnight.
Man: Goodnight. (walks off)
Man: (returns) ...Claire?
Not Drunk Enough Woman: Yes?
Man: You know, I don't..I don't really feel like going home now. Is..is there any chance for another drink, or... a cup of coffee?
Not Drunk Enough Woman: James... I know you want to come in, and I know you probably want more than just a drink, or a cup of coffee. It's just that....I'm not drunk enough.
Man: Whats wrong, Claire, don't..don't you like me?
Not Drunk Enough Woman: Of course I like you, I'm just... not drunk enough to find you attractive. I more than want to be drunk enough.
Man: W...well why aren't you drunk now?
Not Drunk Enough Woman: I am drunk now, I can hardly stand up. ..I'm just not drunk enough.
Man: Is there anything I can do?
Not Drunk Enough Woman: No,...because you're just not attractive.
Man: (upset) ...But I took you to the Munich beer festival.
Not Drunk Enough Woman: I know, I thought that would be it, and I tried, I drank my own weight in German beer. I was completely out of my tree the whole time we were there. I got arrested!....TWICE. But it still wasn't enough.
Man: Maybe... maybe you'll never be drunk enough.
Not Drunk Enough Woman: Oh, James, I do like you, if only I could get so spectacularly p*ssed I just wasn't worth what you look like.
Man: Hang, on, there's an operation you can have, whic... which allows more alcohol into your bloodstream.
Not Drunk Enough Woman: James, no, my liver's wrecked as it is, I've drank so much to try and find you attractive, the doctors say I may be dead within a year.
Goodnight, James.
Man: Claire! (hands her a beer can) ...give me a call. edit » - (Young Parents sketch)
Husband: I think I will just pop in and use their loo, shall I see you in there?
Wife: Erm no... Because do you remember that baby I had six months ago? Well for the first time in 36 hours she appears to be asleep and if I move her she will probably wake up and when she wakes up I'm likely to kill you and then kill myself, so no I don't think I will see you inside. edit » - Mrs. Taylor, The Rancid Pensioner: Ah, ah, ah, ah It's me programme...Oh it's on now...Oh I love this I do, you seen this...That fat girl off Emmerdale; Huge Big Frame.
Grandson: You've Been Framed?
Mrs. Taylor, The Rancid Pensioner: Yeah...You seen this, oh she goes round with a Cine-camera and she takes pictures and then she shows it to you on the telly, oh it's comical innit...mind you she don't half know some fucking stupid people. edit »
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Show Score
8.2
good
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