(The following has been translated from Cow-Dogese. Any translation errors ("false translation!") are purely the fault of the MSM, and in no way should reflect on our future king and ruler. Hail Lockjaw!)

Greetings, fellow citizens. With our evacuation to Earth, the Inhumans have decided to accept the rules of our new "nation" and throw open the kingship to a democratic election. So it is I, Lochlyn Jawicus (sounds better than Blackagar Boltagon, doesn't it?), throwing my hat into the ring!

Let's face it. The current Royal Family would be nothing without me. I teleported them to Hawaii. I teleported them to the Moon. I teleported them to their parley with Maximus, and look how Black Bolt screwed that up. Yeah, I couldn't teleport thousands of people so we needed Eldrac to evacuate Attilan. But he's dead now, and I'm the only teleporter you've got. So make me king if you want the sweet sweet teleporting to continue.

For those who question my blood line, hey, I'm related to Gorgon. I can't help it if Terrigenesis made me look like a dog. Why do you think Crystal kept calling me "boy"?

And hey, when I feel like it, I can speak. Compare that to Black Bolt. Who the heck knows what he's signing? Medusa could be saying anything. Plus it's not like he can campaign or anything.

Black Bolt begins campaign speech, kills 2,000 potential voters. Film at 11.

And they call me "Lockjaw". Ha!

Yes, I'm a dog. Or a cow-dog. Or... something. But so what? Are you going to let specieism get in the way of voting for the best candidate? Besides, look at what the last two Inhuman rulers did. Black Bolt enslaved everyone who didn't have whatever power they were supposed to have. Because, ooh, waving your hair or breathing water on the Moon makes you so powerful. And Maximus managed to blow up Attilan. And then Black Bolt came back and didn't do dick to save the city. Yeah, that's Inhuman rulership for you. Don't you think a cow-dog could do better? Could I do worse?

And for those who think Crystal might have too much influence on me... well, I'd just like to point out that she's my pet. I just let her think she was my mistress. That also shows my acute talent for diplomacy. Who else could convince a human to throw a ball to me day... after day... after day? You humans are so easily amused.

As for my queen, in the spirit of inter-specieism I have decided to take a mate from among the creatures of Earth, since we're now living (somewhere) on their planet. I hear that Lassie is a hot number. A little on the small-boned side for me, but I'll make do. By all accounts, Lassie is quite popular with the humans and transgender to boot, so it should be just the first step in a new history of Human/Inhuman co-existence.

Not to mention, I'll put together a new ruling council with our new Earth friends. Bear? Yep. Eddie? Sure. Zingo from The Gifted? Wishbone? Yep, they'll be voices in our new Human/Inhuman joint administration. Or barks. Or growls. Or something.

And hey, Kibbles and Bits for everyone! You'll never hear Black Bolt promise that. Heck, you'll never hear him promise much of anything. Am I right?

So I'm putting my paw into the ring. So vote for me, Lockjaw, as King of the Inhumans! Don't we Inhumans need new faces in government?

[Paid by the Committee to Make Lockjaw King. All views here are endorsed by the candidate, Lockjaw.]
Comments (2)
Nov 16, 2017
I would totally watch that!

Though I thought his queen is Ms.Lion :D
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