So tonight continues on the tradition of each episode parodying a grindhouse staple, with a focus on… sex plagues? I need to watch more grindhouse movies, I guess. I'm not sure I've seen one with that theme. Overall, it was a pretty unsexy episode. Unless you find Alan Ritchson punching people and getting punched in the groin sexy. Who am I to judge?

The plot of "The F-cking Dead"? After a weird opening with an episode of The Swinks with Jullian's wife and teenage son getting torn apart by zombies, we go to the finish line of Blood Drive at Meadeville. Which, doesn't the finish line mean the end of the race? So shouldn't the race be over? I'm confused.


And where are Cliff and Domi? They and the Gentleman/Scholar seem to be the only two race couples left after Rib Bone dying last week. But they're nowhere to be seen. I'm kinda confused about how Blood Drive works.

Anyhoo, we go all in media res as Grace and Arthur question Julian for information about Karma. Meanwhile, a pair of 50s-ish twins, Jack and Diane, arrive at the Mayhem Party and look for Julian. Arthur for some reason decides to be the new MC while he and Grace have Julian tied up in the past. I guess Jack and Diane are blind, since they initially mistake Arthur for Julian. The twins then wander around kissing partygoers. Which infects them with Dionysus Strain, a virus that cause people to have sex, ooze phosphorescent blue goo, and eventually rip each other apart.


Arthur gets infected, but seem sot be overcome it with a few swift blows to the groin. Julian realizes what's going on and offers location on Karma's whereabouts if she helps him deal with the twins and the sex plague outbreak. There's a nearby bottling company, and the twins capture Julian and take him there. It turns out that an infected brother and sister copulating generates an orange antidote. Grace convinces Jack and Diane to indulge in their unsatisfied lust for each other, Julian shoves them into a giant-sized blood drive engine, and Grace sprays everyone with the antidote.


The next day, Julian keeps his end of the bargain by telling Grace where Karma was transferred to, and rerouting Blood Drive near the place. He makes some noises about Arthur being badder than he claims, and Arthur finds a reference to the giant engine being a Soul Reclamation prototype. Which doesn't sound at all ominous. Then Old Man Heart presses a button marked Blood Gate, and a... well, a blood gate opens near Julian. He figures the network has some more notes for him and casually strolls through.


Meanwhile, Aki tells Chris that he's free to go and shows him his new eye. The eye is fine, but the skin around it is scarred. He owes Heart $20 million and has to pay it off by working in the mail room. Huh? Anyhoo, Chris learns about an executive going to the Hall of Secrets, and discovers that he needs to be a security guard to get in. He seduces Aki into getting him an early promotional hearing. Chris also intercepts a transmission via his eye of Arthur telling Julian that Chris is a good copy, and decides to be the inside man. And I have no idea what's going on here. I'm not sure the creative team does, either.

Ditto for Arthur, who Alan Ritchson was at least initially playing straight. He seems to be the comedy relief now, which is an odd role for the male lead. Grace makes a better protagonist than Arthur does.


The most interesting part of the story is Julian. He shrugs off being beaten by Grace, has a metal plate for a groin, casually walks through blood gates, and the only thing that seems to bother him is the destruction of the Mayhem Party. Julian is still the most interesting character on the show, thanks to Colin Cunningham. At the very least, he's a lot more interesting than Arthur.

We get three commercial/TV interludes this time around. There's the aforementioned 50-ish The Swinks episode. There's a recycled commercial from a few episodes ago when Aki talks about what a great place Heart is. And at the end there's an Aki's Guide to Humanity, which consists of some recycled footage from previous episodes, and has a weird Church of the SubGenius vibe.



Overall, "The F-cking Dead" was an okay episode. I'm not sure it really advanced the story, other than the weird and ever-changing situation with Chris. Heart put all the work and behavior modification into him, and dedicated an upgraded sexbot to him, just to have him work in the mailroom. Or is this another "Let's see if he'll turn traitor" like the turning him loose in the Heart subbasement thing was. Why are they bothering?

And we get the bit about the Soul Reclamator. Which between that and the blood gate suggest that the Blood Drive origins are something a lot deeper than just grindhouse near-future parody. They seem to be tied to extradimensional beings and hellgates and what not. And we've got eight more episodes to find out.


But that's just my opinion, I could be wrong. What do you think?
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Jul 16, 2017
Hmm...it's getting really gory for the sake of shock value. This time, even the eye candies couldn't stop me from fast forwarding the messy gooey sticky scenes just to skimp through to the end. Bloody gore and bore. :P
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