Tower of London Trivia and Quotes

Air Date

Sunday November 8, 1970

Production Code

Unknown

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• The entire 'Fairy Puff Washing Powder' mock advertisement was cut from this episode when aired by the ABC, in Australia. [edit]
• Available on "The Goodies ... At Last" Region 0 DVD (Network 7952171) and "The Goodies - 8 Delicious Episodes" Region 4 DVD (BBC/Village Roadshow) both released 2003. [edit]

• Barnett: Who are you?
  Tim: You sent for us.
  Barnett: Are you alone?
  Bill: No. There's three of us. [edit]
• (Regarding their new headquarters)
  Graeme: Everything we could possibly need.
  Tim: Everything we could possibly need.
  Bill: What for?
  Tim: Well…
  Graeme: Well… yeah, that is a point. What is it for? [edit]
• (in a room resembling a medieval torture chamber)
  Barnett: These are the kitchens of the Tower of London. We converted an old torture chamber. It has a certain atmosphere, don’t you think? These are little thumbscrews here… they make the most absolutely marvellous garlic crushers. Not too little, not too much, delicious! Awfully good for thumbs too. [edit]
• Barnett: Somebody is stealing my Beefeaters beef!
  Bill: What?!?
  Barnett: Oh yes… and my men are very fussy eaters. Yes… if they don’t get their beef, I don’t know how much longer they will last. [edit]
• Barnett: And there’s worse!
  Tim: Worse?!?
  Barnett: The ravens have gone…
  Bill: That’s a bad omen!
  Graeme: Why did they leave?
  Barnett: We ‘et them. [edit]
• Tim: Alright, now look… who we’re after is someone who bears a grudge against Beefeaters. Right?
  Bill: Bulls!
  Tim: I beg your pardon.
  Bill: Bulls! Bulls, beef, beef, Beefeaters! Now look, no bull likes being eaten. [edit]
• Graeme: Here we are, we might need these! (hands Bill and Tim spears)
  Tim: Right, for England! (charges to the door, then stops and turns around) Why might we need these?
  Graeme: Well, it could be dangerous.
  Bill: Oh yes, could get a bit rough! Ha ha! For England!
  Graeme: For England!
  Tim: You know, I don’t awfully care too much about England… [edit]
• (Graeme’s recorded message for his burglar alarm)
  Graeme: Excuse me. If you’re not a burglar, you can disregard this message. But if you are in fact a burglar, it does look as if you’re trying to steal the Crown Jewels and that’s not really ‘on’, is it. No. And I would like to remind you that stealing the Crown Jewels is a punishable offence and you could find yourself in very serious trouble indeed. So, be a sport. Why don’t you just pack it in and go home, eh? That’s all. Sorry you’ve been troubled. [edit]
• Tim: Did you notice anyone suspicious hanging about outside?
  Bill: No! There was only the bloke the lawn, wasn’t there.
  Tim and Graeme: What bloke?!
  Bill: You saw him. You know, the chap on the horse, galloping up and down, practising his polo with the cannon balls. [edit]
• Bill: Oh boy, we really blew it that time.
  Tim: Could’ve happened to anybody.
  Bill: We really blew it.
  Tim: It was a perfectly natural mistake.
  Bill: We reeeally blew it!!
  Tim: STOP SAYING THAT!!! [edit]
• Tim: We are The Goodies.
  Bill and Graeme: Yes, we know that.
  Tim: And we are... uh... going to do good to people.
  Bill: How wet! [edit]

• : Beefeaters
  Beefeaters, AKA The Yeomen of the Guard, are the royal bodyguard employed on state occasions. Originally known as Beefeaters because of their magnificent physiques, they were founded by Henry VII for his coronation in 1485, and wear a scarlet uniform said to symbolise the dragon of Cadwaladr ap Cadwallon. They are now a purely ceremonial force that includes the Yeomen Warders of the Tower of London. [edit]