TV.com

It seems I'm on a roll here. I guess my writing talents lend themselves naturally to the sorts of things that I'm discussing. Today it's forum posts. I know the staff has left rough guidelines, but my aim is to tell you what they leave out and put a new spin on the stuff they've already mentioned. I am known for having a very level head, and the fact that I haven't received a single moderation reflects this. Besides the motivation of avoiding a ToS violation (never a fun thing), I follow the rules of TV.com as well as the ones I've set for myself because I want people to respect my opinion. I like to share my viewpoints on various topics, and it really sets me off when I see a bunch of inexperienced newbies breaking obvious rules and it breaks my heart whenever someone falls victim to a troll. So to avoid both situations, I present to you this list of helpful hints and tips on forums. Hope you enjoy.

Write Like You Talk

A forum is a place for discussion, and never in real life do people talk like I see here sometimes. As you can see from this post, it's much easier to read when it follows the rules of standard English. Capitalization, correct spelling and grammar, punctuation and spelling out words completely rather than abbreviating them adds an air of sophistication to your post and makes it easier to read. It takes me twice as long to read some posts because they break every single one of these rules, often unintentionally. Some people don't realize there's a spellcheck feature. Bottom line, people will only respect what they can understand. If your post is gibberish, then people are not going to respond the way you hoped. Instead they will be confused and just ignore you.

Have Something to Say

What upsets me the most is "me-tooing." It's where a user will just post some sort of agreement comment that doesn't add anything to the conversation. What REALLY gets me is when they use excessive quoting and just post something like "agreed" on the end. This is actually disruptive posting, which is subject to moderation. Whenever I post something, I make sure to address specific points if I'm responding to someone or to introduce some of my own. I was on Speech & Debate in high school and I used to write persuasive essays (now I write prose), so I know how to structure an argument and contribute something of value. Make sure that what you're saying is of interest to the people on that thread. If not, they will just ignore you.

Look at the Other Topics

What inspired me to start this series of hints and tips was actually the hundreds of new users who just went and asked a question that had been answered dozens of times before, often on the first page. I even saw one thread where a person asked a question and I answered it, then another user asked the exact same question, on the same thread no less! At that point I just got fed up and made a thread to which I could refer them.

You Can't Please Everybody

One of the biggest life lessons that people need to learn is that other people may have an opinion that differs from their own, and therefore may disagree with what you consider to be a perfectly valid point. Some people are so stuck in their ways that what you say isn't going to convince them one way or the other. But this does not mean you should not express your honest opinion. The pastor of my church says that, "If I haven't offended at least one person, I haven't done my job." People are going to disagree with you. The best you can do is focus on the issue itself and not the person making the statements.

Remember the Person

Which brings me to the first rule of Netiquette: remember the person. Often the reason that people can be so rude over the internet is because we forget that these are actual people that we're dealing with. All we see is the avatar, and we forget that there is a real human being with thoughts and opinions represented by that avatar. If you can't remember that these are actual people, somebody's feelings are going to get hurt. And that's not what anybody wants (well, except trolls).

Keep It Rational

A shouting match is impossible over the computer, so words that may have a huge impact when shouted at a high volume are revealed for what they truly are when the volume is removed: meaningless. Therefore you should try to structure an argument to persuade people into seeing your point. It doesn't mean that they'll agree with you, but if you give the impression of being level-headed and pose a very sound argument, then people will respect it. Of course, they will still counter with arguments of their own, which is what makes this country great. People are very passionate about their opinions, but if you can back that passion up with a well-measured argument then you will be respected for it.

Count to Ten, Then Type Your Response

Often the reason flame wars get started is that we misinterpret the other person's post and take it as an attack against ourselves and our beliefs, and we feel the need to retaliate. This can get very ugly very quickly because the person to whom you send your inflammatory response will feel exactly the same way and the cycle just keeps going until someone logs off in tears and possible never comes back again, and a misunderstanding has just cost the internet another very valuable user. I've seen this happen too many times, and it breaks my heart each and every time. Fortunately I have not seen any on this site (mad props to the mods), and I hope it stays that way. Often it helps to read your post aloud and ask yourself if you'd feel comfortable saying it in person. If the answer is no, then calm down and start over. It's also helpful if you reread the post to make sure you didn't just misunderstand something and it made a legitimate point rather than flaming. Sometimes you'll find to your great surprise that this actually is the case and you will have effectively dodged a bullet. Of course, sometimes they actually are flames. If that's the case, then why are you responding to them? Report the abuse and be on your merrry way.

Don't Respond to Trolls

Which brings up a related point: how to deal with trolls. The most effective known method to deal with a troll short of kicking them out is to not respond at all and remind others to do the same. Trolls WANT attention, positive or negative. Don't try to argue with a troll. They will not change. Just report them and let the mods deal with it. Don't tell them that you're reporting them either; this technically counts as trolling since it's a well-known trolling technique, and trolls know this. You will both end up getting moderated, instead of just the troll.

Appearances Count

Appearances count—have a more grown-up, or cleverly hand-made, or at least neutral, avatar. When you have an avatar from a wackily-drawn cartoon for ten-year-olds, or a fictional buffoon-looking creature, people may prejudice that what you have to say will be childish. I've always felt some people, especially at GameSpot, got slammed more about their thoughts, partly due to their avatars taking credibility from their posts. (~Jekyll)

Hope all of this helps. If you have any other tips post them below and I'll edit it in.

Appearances count—have a more grown-up, or cleverly hand-made, or at least neutral, avatar. When you have an avatar from a wackily-drawn cartoon for ten-year-olds, or a fictional buffoon-looking creature, people may prejudice that what you have to say will be childish. I've always felt some people, especially at GameSpot, got slammed more about their thoughts, partly due to their avatars taking credibility from their posts.

Yeah, this thread seems a little too self-congratulatory. Though I agree with the basic points, I'm not sure all of them relate to the main topic (getting people's respect). Some of them seem to apply more to a tips thread on how to avoid TOS violations. Though having a "clean" record could be loosely related to building a good reputation and gaining respect, it's not really the same thing.

I think most of the points are useful but you have to expect other people to tweak you a bit when you boast like that. It tends to leave a bad taste in the mouths of some people.

And I understand that. Nobody likes a big-shot. But the difference is that I don't just talk big--I back it up. I feel that I am qualified to be giving this advice, but unless I prove it to people they're never going to know that. I needed to establish myself as an authority on this (not the authority, mind you) so that my words would have meaning instead of just being pointless. I had to choose between sounding like a big shot and not being listened to, and I chose the former because at least that way I can explain myself like I'm doing now. I appreciate your concerns, but I've always come off as arrogant when it's really just self-confidence misinterpreted by those who don't know me. Being relatively new to this site (compared to folks like you anyway), I need to establish a reputation right away. If that reputation comes across as arrogant, then so be it, but don't accuse me of empty bragging. I'll admit that I toot my own horn sometimes, but honestly, who hasn't? (that's what's known as trick question because if you answer then you are tooting your own horn.)

It's all about how much the thread helps the users. I started this series of hints and tips  because I know some things that newer users might not know and I want to help them out. I didn't see this topic covered, so I took the initiative. To you guys it seems like I'm preaching to the choir, but to some new user who has possibly never even encountered a forum  before, these tips could prove invaluable. And if they're going to take tips from anybody, it might as well be one of us, and in this case it just happens to be me. If I want to feel good about myself, then so be it, as long as I have useful information. I only patted myself on the back in the first paragraph and from that point forward it was strictly business. If I wanted to brag I'd use my blog.

See, the same thing applies here as in the spellchecker idea thread you posted. You can tell/show people HOW to do something, but the odds of them actually doing it(if they're not already, that is) isn't that great.

If someone acts like a child on the forums, in both opinion and presentation, I don't think they're going to change just because a thread like this exists. I think most people know how they come off.

But the purpose of this thread is not to stop people from being like that, it's to keep people from becoming like that. Like I said, the target audience for this thread is people who have no experience on forums whatsoever and need a few tips to overcome the newb hurdle. Just like I don't expect any of you to need my help since you already practice these tips, I don't expect people who don't just to change their beliefs and start making quality forum posts if they prefer to write trash. That's their thing and if they don't care what other people think then I'm not going to even bother because I can't persuade them anyway. But I also made this thread to help people who want to write better posts but can't figure out how. I understand that this percentage of people will be little to none, but if I help one person to make a complete turnaround then I know I've done my job.

And you have to admit that with any guidelines or advice, the people who need to read it are the ones who aren't. By your line of reasoning, this entire forum would be rendered obsolete. But there are also the people  who are genuinely helped by these threads, even if they don't take the time to post and say so. So if I reach at least one person, I'll be happy, and no amount of cynical doubt is going to change that.

Even though I'm not new to posting in forums myself - though I haven't posted much in this one up 'til now - I appreciate this thread. Of course you can't 'make' people take it seriously - and a lot of people will just go on posting like they always have -, but it will be quite useful for newbies who want to know how to post in a way to get taken seriously - which is exactly what this thread is for.

The others will go on posting in a way that makes it really hard to take them seriously, but there's no helping people who don't want help or think they don't need it.

My main problem in this forum is that English is not my native language and even though the spell-checker can help me with the word, it can't really help me with grammar.

The reason I don't repect people's opinion sometimes is because they say they hate a certain show for a stupid reason.

^ Which is something you should keep it to yourself IMO. Everyone's got their own opinions and people should respect that, regardless if they agree or disagree with the poster. Anyway, I agree wholeheartedly with you beeftony.

One thing that can really tick me off is overuse of capitalisation. A lot of people don't seem to realise that this is the equivalent of shouting.

Shouting everything you post is one sure-fire way to make yourself look like a clumsy poster. Once again, this goes back to writing how you speak. It'd sure as hell be difficult to respect a loudmouth's opinions.

Here's another tip: Don't use the phrase "if memory serves."

This phrase is completely unnecessary in any discussion. Some people think it makes them sound sophisticated but all it really does is point out that the writer hasn't bothered to verify a particular fact. I've noticed that when someone uses this phrase, more often than not, the accompanying statement of fact is incorrect or incompletely stated.

Instead of using the phrase, the writer should spend a minute and look up the information on Google or Yahoo. It doesn't take long.

I've seen this on people's Submission Guidelines:

Use the commonly accepted spellings for the main characters, and spell the name of the show/person correctly.

Also, much as some people enjoy the silly and popularized nicknames of their favorite characters and actors, like Britney = K-Fed Ex, be wary of using those in the actor's forum or show forum, unless the editor and community are OK with it.