TV.com

The Bottom Line: "Fair"

I admit I have a softer spot in my heart for Top Chef because it was one of my first guides, but I don't believe that view radically skews my opinions of this show, although the gentle reader may grow weary of the comparison. These comments relate to the recently completed season four.

While discussing the show with a friend, I said it was like watching Top Chef on Valium, but it's more accurately Top Chef on Valium and Prozac with a little Digoxin thrown in for good measure.

The Show Overall: These episodes move so slowly, but you still feel unsatisfied at the end of the hour. The editing is choppy, leaving no coherent story arc (or whatever it's called in the reality genre). There's so much detritus footage that makes no difference to the episode resolution, but it's there every week. I want to see more of the selection committee, I want to see more cooking, I want to understand the decisions better. I want, I want, I want. I shouldn't end each week with this feeling.

The Challenges: They devise ridiculous challenges that neither test the finalists' skills nor relate to any kind of studio work they'll film (The Digoxin part -- you know, psych drug, psych drug, cardiac drug. Which of these doesn't belong?). This season alone they had to cook on a moving train, a carrier at sea, perform different skills set demonstrations with no prep time, etc. None of that remotely represents what they'll find if they win the show, when culinary producers and crews create scripts, test recipes, basically eliminate the need for the cooking skills at all. Now I'll admit that Top Chef has had some stupid challenges, the gas station and vending machine ones come to mind, but they were at the QuickFire level (Mini-Challenge on NFNS), not the Elimination (Main Challenge on NFNS). What should have been a logical progression of introductory to proficient camera skills and basic to chef-level cooking technique demonstrations ended up a hodge-podge with no clear organization or rhythm.

The Editing: All due respect to my sister: I know that editors are sometimes limited by the whim of the producers and/or clients. The thing is, someone should have stood back and realized that the product was milquetoast. Crisper editing with a view to the story for the episode would have made a world of difference. Getting rid of a quarter of the inane comments by the finalists -- some of which were obviously scripted -- would have breathed life into the franchise. There's only so much illumination that can be cast on a scene by an off-set remark. Only Adam actually fulfilled the typical role these usually take: a funny or sarcastic reflection on what happened. Skillful editing includes the expression on faces as things happen, so the subtext isn't needed to understand what's going on.

The Finalists: A more boring batch of contestants I've yet to meet, with the exception of Kelsey who was the most annoying, plastic replicant ever to dull a show (Marcel from Top Chef is still no. 1, but Kelsey may edge out Richard Hatch for the no. 2 spot). I keep harping on the editing, but either no one had any personality, or any flares of realism were left on the hard drive (or cutting room floor, depending on your era). The weird thing is that Top Chef began with contestants like this their first season, but each year the talent pool gets better and higher up the culinary food chain. This is not a perfect analogy, because it's very clear that Food Network is no longer looking for skilled chefs, but that wouldn't prevent them from looking for more talented amateurs.

My disappointment in this show is not that it's failing to become a Top Chef clone (believe it or not), but that they've watered down the competition and created such a bland product that it's boring. Whether through editing or elimination decisions, it was pretty clear from the beginning who was being groomed. It's hard to invest in a finalist if you know his or her days are numbered. Obscure judging also didn't help things. In this season's final episode, the criteria cited by Susie or Bob was that the winner had to be able to start filming the next day. This could mean one of two things (well, it could mean more, but these are the two I came up with): Either two of the finalists had family obligations or only one needed the least work to become camera-ready. If it's the former, what a stupid way to make a decision, if it's the latter, I do not see how they chose the winner they did. But how would we know? Not one decision was ever explained on camera either to the contestants or to the viewer.

Even understanding that they are focusing on camera skills, rather than cooking ability -- a sad trend throughout the network -- I believe this show could be so much more than the rote entertainment it is.

A Helping Hand

Morning people! Not much to talk about in my personal life today so just a quick round up, I'm sure there's other stuff you're more interested in today...

So it was a pretty uneventful weekend this week, I was just pleased to get the working week over with for a bit although this week is so busy it's unbelievable. I think I overdid tennis this week, from last Saturday to this Saturday I played on 7 different occasions and on Saturday I was just so knackered when I was playing. It's been a long time since I've felt glad to finish playing. I also think I've picked up my first tennis injury, I have a really bad hand/finger at the minute which I think I did on Tuesday. It just hurts when I play and now when I type. I've done more typing this weekend than I normally would and my left hand is suffering at the minute.

In gaming I'm nearing completion of Assassin's Creed. I've taken down the full 9 targets and have completed all the side missions so it's really just a case of wrapping up the game now. Plenty of cut scenes to go through I've noticed. I'm also close to getting the most achievement points I've managed for one game, I'm yet to hit 700 but I fear I might be 5 points short. I have hit 7000 total gamer points exactly which is nice.

To the main part of my blog I guess is my tv.com news. As most of you are well aware now I became a site mod on Friday. It's been a long wait since I was first asked thanks to the redesign but it was certainly worth it! There's a hell of a lot to read up on, now I really do have to know the ToS inside out which I've never really bothered with before. Plus I need to play catch up with the other mods learning who to look out for and how the moderation process works. My only concern really is that I do things differently to how they currently do it. I knew there was a lot involved in being a mod but there's more than I could've imagined that we can do. Thanks to everyone who has already congratulated me, it's much appreciated. I'd like to mention here as well that for those of you who don't know more_ncis_now is also a new site mod so go congratulate her as well! We'll officially be added into the 'Here to Help' section in a week or so, but starting now if anyone has any problems regarding moderations (or anything in general) do come to me! I'll be able to help one way or another so don't hesitate to send me a PM.

I also guess that now my submitting days are going to be more limited in numbers, I haven't had too much to moderate yet so maybe I'll still be able to submit plenty. I'm pretty relieved though to have a new focus on the site, finding subs to continue submitting for a year and a half is pretty tiresome. I've made over 58,000 subs so a change was well overdue in my eyes. It also means I don't have to worry about holding onto the third place spot on the site. I know I've never needed to worry about it but as submitting was all I had I thought I might as well try to be as good as I can. I'd still like to hit level 90 and reach 60k subs but I guess that'll take a bit longer now, I'll be content for the time being to just look after my current guides rather than focusing on getting new ones.

As for TV, I didn't manage to watch all the new airing episodes this week as there's just so many now! First up I watched Dirty Sexy Money 'The Birthday Present' which I thought was good. The show has just picked up right from where it finished which is no bad thing. Next up was Heroes 'One Of Us, One Of Them' which was another great instalment! I still really don't like Niki/Tracey, not really sure why though. I also saw Criminal Minds 'The Angel Maker' which saw a return to the regular episode set up. It was a good episode, I like a good back story behind the case and I'm glad to see that Hotch saw sense in the end. After finishing season 2 of Ugly Betty the other day I was able to begin on season 3. I watched 'The Manhattan Project' and it was like I'd never been away...maybe because I hadn't! Not sure about the new magazine set up but I do like the way the show is progressing.

My album for the day is One Of The Boys by Katy Perry.

My shuffle song for the day is 'Ruby' by The Kaiser Chiefs.

My thing to ponder for today is: Why don't woodpeckers get headaches when they slam their head on a tree all day?