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Kneel before the Stargate, mortal!

You know what I hate?

When I get a brand new bag of lightly salted Kettle Chips, and they're full of those brown burnt ones. Dang it!
Posted by TimSpot, 04/09/2008 4:13pm  11 Comments
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HaLo update.

I'm sure about 99% of you are extremely pissed off that this post isn't about the Bungie game (which I still think should have been game of the year), but rather boring celeb news. However, in the interest of the remaining one percent of you with no lives, I shall continue.

(Besides, it clearly says HaLo with a capital L in the topic)

I once vowed to be the definitive source for all your Hayden Panettiere / Milo Ventimiglia gossip, and I've been slacking. For that I apologize. But here's the latest: Hollywood's newest holy-crap-she's-only-18? couple may be moving in together. Awwww.

According to Digital Spy, which is about as reputable as a moonshine-drinkin' hobo, Hayden is shopping around for a house in Los Angeles and has asked Milo to move in. Mom reportedly approves.

Let's recap: Hayden is 18, Milo is 30. I mean look at the picture--that's what happens when young chicks put on makeup. Is she on a red carpet or about to crawl out of a tiny car with a bunch of clowns and have a pie fight?

What are they going to do when Milo suggests the bedroom be painted black and Hayden asks for My Little Pony wallpaper? And why aren't the young actors of Hollywood doing anything to stop this? At least Terminator's Thomas Dekker (who I interview here and is surprisingly cool) is speaking up:

Begin copy and paste:

"I think it's gross, to be perfectly honest," Thomas Dekker — who played Claire's best friend, Zach, during season one of Heroes — tells Life & Style magazine. "It's kind of like if I were dating a 12-year-old," the 20-year-old adds.

Not content with just calling the coupling "gross," the Sarah Connor Chronicles star also says that he can't even comprehend how the costars make it work. "I'm definitely surprised they're together. For me, it would be a struggle to be with someone in such a different age range," he says.

End copy and paste.

Wait a sec, dating a 12-year old is wrong?

Posted by TimSpot, 03/06/2008 12:20pm  10 Comments
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Lost's crash of Oceanic 815 done 24-style - video!

I've made no secret about my love affair with ABC's Lost. Season four is only 32 hours away, and I'm feeling the same sort of giddiness I get when I'm about to go to Vegas. Yeah, I'm that excited.

Tonight is the "enhanced" season three finale, and tomorrow is the recap and season four premiere. I will be watching all of it intently.

As excited as I am about this, I found something that makes me even MORE excited for the show. A video has hit YouTube featuring the crash of Oceanic 815 from different perspectives, presented 24-style with multiple views.

It's incredibly well done and a testament to how detailed the show actually is. It's stuff like this that really blows my mind and makes me love Lost that much more. Enjoy

Lost Synchronization - YouTube

And for those that are interested, I got a chance to have a quick interview with Michael Emerson, who plays Ben Linus on the show. It's now up here at TV.com .

Posted by TimSpot, 01/30/2008 5:46pm  3 Comments
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Handicapping Sunday's big game - Puppy Bowl IV

The "big" game is easy to call. New York Football Giants will easily cover the 12.5 spread, and have a legitimate shot at winning the game. It's the Puppy Bowl that should get the most action this weekend.
Here are my betting lines for MVP:

  • jack russell terrier
  • Abigail
    Breed: Parson Russell Terrier (aka Jack Russell Terrier)
  • +400 Too smart to take this stupid thing seriously.
    beagle
    Attucker
    Breed: Beagle
  • +800 Everyone knows Beagle puppies are my favorite, that's why Attucker doesn't stand a chance.
  • Prop bet +400 Dog everyone blames for farting
    amstaff-ambull mix
    Bingo
    Breed: American Staffordshire Terrier/ American Pit Bull Mix
  • +150 Popularity at an all-time high, but previous marijuana possession and assault charges at the strip club could keep this pooch out of public favor.
  • Prop bet: -250 that it eats another dog.
    alaskan malamute
    Bruin
    Breed: Alaskan Malamute
  • +1000 This dog was actually meant to compete in the Special Doggy Olympics.
    shih tzu
    Cali
    Breed: Shih Tzu
  • Even - Some say she's undersized for her position, but has shown incredible resilience on passes thrown over the middle. The Wes Welker of the dog world.
  • Prop bet - +150 Cali ends up as Bingo's beeee-yatch.
    Cockapoo
    Cody
    Breed: American Cocker Spaniel / Poodle Mix (aka Cockapoo)
  • +200 HAHAHAHAHHAHAHAA COCKAPOO Seriously, lame 30-somethings love these horrible mixed breeds and their wacky names.
    bernese mountain dog
  • -250 OMG this dog is so CUTE! (sucker bet)
  • Prop bet - -600 that his owner is a douchebag for naming him Colt.
  • Prop bet - +200 Will spend the whole time chasing tail like its douchebag owner.
    german shepherd
    Delilah
    Breed: Shepherd Mix
  • +1500 "Shepherd Mix" otherwise known as dirty Mutt! Get out of here! You ain't PURE! We don't take kindly to your kind!
    golden retriever
    Dixie
    Breed: Golden Retriever
  • -1000 Dixie = Tom Brady. (When will America stop its ridiculous love affair with Golden Retrievers and Tom Brady?)
  • +400 First to sniff its own butt
    havanese
    Elle
    Breed: Havanese
  • +250 This is the year of the small dog. You can bet on it. Seriously... bet on it!
    saint bernard mix
    Ellie Mae
    Breed: Saint Bernard / Shepherd Mix
  • +600 A Saint Bernard without a barrel of booze around its neck is USELESS!
  • Prop bet - +200 first to poop
  • +500 Emma, you will never be an adorable Jack Russell...EVER! Get a damn clue and KILL YOURSELF!
cavachon
  • Finnigan
    Breed: Cavalier King Charles Spaniel / Bichon Frise Mix (aka Cavachon)
  • +300 Wow could we have a dog that is more full of itself in this competition? Cavalier King Charles Spaniel and Bichon Frise? This dog should have a top hat and a monocle. Pride comes before the fall, Lord Finnigan.
  • +400 Bingo's Appetizer before locking his jaws around Cali
    lab mix
    Jack
    Breed: Labrador Mix
  • +420 Oh my god this dog is so stoned.
  • Prop bet -1000 First to eat and eat and eat and pass out early
    mini dachshund
    Jack
    Breed: Mini Dachshund
  • +800 This little ankle-nipper has been combatting the popular notion that it's too small to compete with the big dogs. Well, popular notion is right.
    west highland terrier
    Jackson
    Breed: West Highland Terrier
  • +300 Jackson has spent lots of time bleaching his fur to get more of a white tone. Child molestation charges could come back to haunt this little Thriller.
    bull terrier
    Janet
    Breed: Bull Terrier Mix
  • +2,000,000 Who the heck names a dog "Janet"? A pathetic, lonely man, that's who!
    Rottweiler
    Kodiak
    Breed: Rottweiler / Lab Mix
  • -200 This dog has it all! The obvious LL Bean name,just enoughfight with the Rottweiler part, and as a Lab it's good with the kids! Of course, it could get the child-friendliness of a Rottweiler and the toughness of the dangerous-as-a-cotton-ball Lab, so it could be a disaster. Come to think of it, the name is pretty damn lame too. (Line scheduled to change)
  • Prop bet +400 first to hump cameraman's leg
    chow chow
    Kira
    Breed: Chow Chow Mix
  • Even - This dog is totally into golden showers. It is so obvious. Sexual deviancy can work in an athlete's favor or against it. Just ask Osi Umenyiora.
    australian toy shepherd
    Maiisey
    Breed: Australian Toy Shepherd
  • -100 - Unlike real Australians, this dog is actually smart and well-behaved. Like real Australians, is so gorgeous you just don't care. And how about that lovely accent! "Bork! Bork!"
    border collie
    Rascal
    Breed: Border Collie Mix
  • +700 Troubled past will catch up with it. America still upset over people-fighting ring allegations.
    mini pinscher
    Raven
    Breed: Beagle / Mini Pinscher Mix
  • +800 Sorry, goth dogs just care about stuff like this.
  • +500 Will start cutting itself by the end of the first quarter.
    mixed breed
    Scuba
    Breed: Unknown -- Mixed Breeds
  • No Line (Off)-A real wild card. From parts unknown, weighing an unknown amount and with unknown amount of experience. Named Scuba because it can be used as a floatation device until it drowns.
    morkie
    Tucker
    Breed: Maltese / Yorkshire Terrier Mix (aka Morkie)
  • +400 First openly-gay competitor has many social hurdles to surmount, mount. Would be more even money bet, but have you seen the ass on Colt!?!? Ruff Ruff give the dog a bone(r)!
Posted by TimSpot, 01/28/2008 12:52pm  6 Comments
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I Am Legend (almost) live blog review.

Hey, here's a recap of my thoughts on I Am Legend, the new Will Smith movie.

Previews begin-Cloverfield! Doesn't look as good anymore. Batman! Looks great! New Narnia looks surprisingly good! New Martin Lawrence movie looks surprisingly good! (kidding!)

10 minutes into I Am Legend: Wow, I'm very impressed.

40 minutes into I Am Legend: Hey! Looks like this could be an awesome film!

41 minutes into film (approximately, right where Will Smith is screaming at a mannequin): Oh my god this is the worse movie I have ever seen.

There you go, hope that helps.

Posted by TimSpot, 12/19/2007 12:55pm  10 Comments
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My Recent Reviews

 
9.8 Superb
Breaking Bad
Crazy Handful of Nothin'
Avg Score: 9.68    Total Ratings: 78    Total Reviews: 8
When you make a show about a high school chemistry teacher cooking Meth, you need to have the high school chemistry teacher cooking Meth, and the writers--after a short 2 episode or so detour--finally reunited Jesse and Walter. Walter's obsession with taking control of his life--what little he has left--comes full steam in this episode, with an explosive ending (and beginning if you want to get technical). This is a man with nothing to lose and everything to gain, and Bryan Cranston pulls it off spectacularly. The rest of the cast has also settled into their characters, particularly Aaron Paul as Jesse and Anna Gunn as Skyler. Breaking Bad is one of the season's best new shows, and constantly keeps the bar raised every episode.
Report Abuse Posted Mar 5, 2008
9.9 Superb
Puppy Bowl
Avg Score: 6.97    Total Ratings: 3    Total Reviews: 1
Animal Planet's Puppy Bowl is the best annual Super Bowl alternative. The geniuses at Animal Planet had a simple plan: Let's throw a bunch of dogs in a football-themed pen and let them goof off for hours. That's about it. With the water-bowl cam, plethora of toys, and goal posts, it's enough to satisfy any football and dog lover's needs. The addition of the Bissel Halftime Kitty show was also a plus, a true landmark of modern television. Okay okay, so it will never really live up to the Super Bowl, but with Super Bowl halftime shows going down the tube in recent years, the Puppy Bowl is the best diversion from the typically overhyped action of the Super Bowl.
Report Abuse Posted Feb 5, 2008
9.8 Superb
Futurama
Mars University
Avg Score: 8.85    Total Ratings: 209    Total Reviews: 8
This episode is one the best, and delivers some of the best lines in the series' history. As a parody of 1980s college movies and summer camp movies, Mars University hits the nail on the head. The dean's repeated exclamations of "ROOOOOOBOT HOUSE" are among the finest things ever to come from this underappreciated series. This episode also introduces Guenter, the hyper-intelligent monkey (thanks to the hat that Professor Farnsworth makes for him). When Guenter has to decide between losing his intelligence and opting for "ignorance is bliss" or keeping the hat and being the smartest damn simian on Mars, he blows a gasket. And of course, Fry can relate. He and Farnsworth set down the hat and a banana to let regular-old-monkey Guenter decide his fate of being released into the wild or staying a smart monkey and the exchange is hilarious. Leela: Professor, you'll offer Guenter the hat and, Fry, you'll offer him the banana. We'll let him choose whether he wants to be intelligent or just a mindless animal.
Farnsworth: Come on, Guenter, take the hat.
Fry: No, the banana, the banana!
Farnsworth: Consider the philosophical and metaphysical ramifications of the-
Fry: Banana, banana, banana!

Ah yes, Banana, Banana, Banana.
Report Abuse Posted Nov 26, 2007
10.0 Perfect
Weeds
Avg Score: 9.09    Total Ratings: 5663    Total Reviews: 180
Users who agree: 1    Users who disagree: 1
Showtime's Weeds is exactly what happens when great ideas come around that are too good for network TV. A classic example of a show that couldn't work anywhere except for pay cable stations, Weeds is a finely cultivated product that doesn't push it unnecessarily because it has a loose leash.

The show could easily feature more drug use, more sex, and more miscellaneous adult topics, but chooses instead to strengthen its core with excellent acting, strong writing, and excellent pacing. Mary-Louise Parker lead the cast as Nancy Botwin, a widowed mom with a family to feed and house to pay off. She turns to selling pot, and the adventure takes off. Weeds is at its strongest when it satirizes various cultures entwined in the suburban pot trade. Stereotypes are joyfully made fun of in equal servings, so much so that in the end all the viewer sees is each character's character. Kevin Nealon is excellent as Doug, Elizabeth Perkins is marvelous as Celia, Romany Malco is awesome as Conrad, and of course Parker IS Nancy Botwin. But for me, the real treat is watching Justin Kirk as Uncle Andy, the lecherous lazy cook who brings something new to the classic stoner role. Add to that his unusual ex-girlfriend played by the gorgeous Zooey Deschanel, and you've got yourself a cast, my friend.
Season 3 begins in a week, and season 2's cliffhanger finale was as fine an ending as I've seen in any show. Weeds is one of my favorite shows for the most obvious reason--it's damn entertaining and simply a joy to watch.
Report Abuse Posted Aug 6, 2007

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TimSpot
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King of Comedy - More than 10 favorite shows, at least 20% of them comedies. This user has over 20 friends. This user is a member of tv.com staff. Holy Level 10 User has submitted news links via the User Link Submission system. Editor for a show guide. Contributite - This user has made at least 1 contribution. This user participated in our Finale Fanfare 2007 chat series! This user participated in one of our Fall 2007 Premiere Chats! This user is on the 815 Flight Manifest and participated in the Lost Season 4 Premiere Chat! This user has over 50 journal entries.
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