Some of was found around the net and the rest me and a mate made up. Please don't be offended, I just thought it was quite funny so i thought i'd share it.

All the stuff in blue is (or will soon be) true for me. How about you?

1. You go to drop off one person to the airport, but you take 50 extra people with you

2. Your entire family runs the marathon when they see a dog calmly walking on the other side of the road

3. Your cousin is said to have "gone abroad to get married", but you know he's doing time in prison

4. You were taught never to talk to strangers at primary school, yet your parents force you to call a complete stranger "Auntie"

5. "Paracetamol" is your cure to every illness (true for my mum but my dads a doc)

6. Your remote control is still in its plastic packet (not mine but i know a few)

7. You use your religion to get yourself out of almost anything e.g. P.E,school discussions, debates, etc.

8. You studied A' Level Maths but still think it's possible to fit 100 people into 1 car (maybe not quite that many)

9. You wear sunglasses in hail, sleet and snow

10. Your parents forbade you to date and then wonder why you're 28 and single (or so they think). (I'm just not 28 but i can see this happening)

11. Your mobile phone "just happens to ring" when you see a member of the opposite sex (especially if they happen to be asian!)

12. You secretly watch "ZEE T.V." but pretend you've never heard of it

14. You think you're part of the MAFIA, yet you study Law

15. You studied Medicine, Law, Management or Maths at university or you didn't bother going. ( gona study medicine when i get roung to it)

16. At some pint as a kid you wanted to be a bollywood star/ marry a bollywood star

17. You think it's a sin if you admit you've revised before an exam

18. Your parents can count all of their non-Asian friends on their fingers

19. You seem to think that this list DOES NOT apply to you

20. You have a telephone at home but nobody is (ever) allowed to use it (atleast not until after six on a week day)

21. Your wear DKNY yet your mum buys material from Longsight Market

22. You've failed your driving test 6 times, but you've been driving for the past 3 years

23. In the primary school nativity plays you were always the donkey in the background (and if you were extra lucky, you were given the part of the villager)

24. Girls especially: Your parents thinkyou've never been on a dateeven after you have a kid. (the alternative is too much for them to deal with) (only i'm way too young for kids but the other bit...)

25. You're were the last person to see your wedding card ... and the person you're were getting married to

26. Even your underwear is designer

27. You dance at a complete stranger's wedding (and claim you are a distant relative / family friend)

28. Boys especially: You can name every member of the Indian cricket team ( and i'm not a guy)

29. You achieve A*'s in every subject and your parents tell you to STUDY HARDER

30. You are offended by this list and you're going to make a complaint about it (but then realise it's too much trouble)

31. There is a tub of "PRIDE GHEE" and a sack of "TILDA BASTMATI" in your hallway

32. You can't go to certain places because your Uncle works there or your auntie might see you

33. You have a wardrobe that you've mentally split in half : Indian and normal

34. Your parents friends are more interested in your exam results than your own friends.

35. You were forced to watch Indian films during your childhood, and then your parents wonder why you lack in intelligence

36. You are over-dressed for every occasion and seem to take it as a joke when someone calls you "Garry Glitter"

37. You hardly ever take prescribed medicines because your parents have their own herbal cures/ drugs at home (again with my dad the doc...)

38. Unknown "relatives" start ringing your house on the day that your exam results are coming out (mainly to see if you did better than their kids)

39. You are unable to open your front door because of the pile of shoes blocking the way

40. Your Auntie has permed, dyed, damaged hair

41. Your parents have a PANIC ATTACK when something dirty comes on t.v.( my mum does... on theoccasions she gets it)

42. If your parents could afford it: you went to private school / were nagged about not going to private school / were threatened with being moved to a private school.(they didn't nag hard enough...but they're still threatening)

43. You have to offer guests tea even before they've stepped into your house

44. You address every other Asian person on the planet as "your cousin / auntie / uncle" (well not everyone, just all my parents friends)

45. You talk to all your parents friends even though you can't remember who they are ( not that it matters you just have to call them uncle)

46. You dress identical to your friends and your favourite colour is black

47. Girls: Your brother thinks he's your dad

48. You know how an Indian film will end even before it's started (but you still watch it)

49. You go to a wedding with an empty car, but on the way back you end up giving the entire population of the wedding a lift home (and you haven't seen half of these people in your life)

50. At school, your parents were overly worried with Parents' Evening (...but if you got a bad report, you told them that the teachers were all racist) (I never got a bad report...yet, but one of my dads mates who's kid went to my school told my parents the teacher were racist because his kid got a bad report...pfh...his kid is just...)

51. You arrive late at every party

52. Your phone line has been cut off at home, yet you own more than one mobile phone

53. You're parents tried to set you up as soon as u hit 25 or graduated uni (whichever came first)

54. Throughout college, your parents tried to convince you not to go too far away from home for university while also convincing you to apply for Oxford when you live in Scotland.

55. In University, you went to a Bhangra gig that ended with a big fight involving weird men wearing glittery pants and tacky golden earrings

56. Your dad wears pink shirts and thinks they look good

57. Your parents find no criticisms in an Indian film where some guy jumps off a cliff and jumps back up again, people burst into song when their relatives are dying, evil politicians rule the world, and even the police don't give a crap (and then they wonder why you prefer to watch "Eastenders")

58. At parties, you wear more glitter and sparkly bits than a Christmas tree

59. You get over-excited when you see another Asian person on t.v.(not me.. my mum does)

60. You have attended every MELA ever organised

61. You accuse your cousin of fancying you (eww)

62. You lie to your parents about where you've been or what/who you have been doing

63. You know the name of every Asian person in your College/University, and they know your name...but you never let on

64. You know the lyrics to every Indian song ever written, but you deny it

65. You come home to the sounds of Asian Sound Radio

66. Your parents force you to listen to old Indian/Ghazal songs

67. Your auntie (not related type)always wants you to have a secret relationship with her son/daughter(um...and I'm in high school)

68. You are constantly being compared to every other Asian kid on the Planet

69. You pronounce English words in a typical accent when speaking to your parents e.g. toilet: "Toylat"

70. You never go to the library "to work" (eh??)

71. Your phone number is x-directory

72. A member of the opposite sex simply says "hello" and your parentsaccuse them of stalking you

73. You receive phone numbers from complete strangers (either that or you're handing your number out to complete strangers)(um... what??... how is that indian??)

74. You own a gold chain with your name engraved on it

75. You have cousins that you've never even heard of

76. Your annoyed that the title said 80 things but there are only 76

I was sat in my German lesson today being bored out of my mind (did you the German for dead boring translates as dead trousers but thats not the point), when i started to think about how i talk different depending on who I'm talking to. I've noticed this before and my friends have as well but i never really thought about it before. For example, when I talk to my parents, i usally talk in Bengali but when we're out with people and i use English I have a stronger indian accent mixed with queens english. When i talk to my mates, I use a lot of slang anda lot of Yorkshire with a hint of Indian. When i talk with peoplemy age who i only know because my parents know their parents i use Queens english trimmed with yorkshire and India.

It's actually quite strange to me how easily I can adapt, especially considering i moved from India when I was less than 3 years old and wasnever taught the Indian equivalent of english (ie. Queens english with american thrown in).

I also noticed that my vocabulary kind of changes depending on who I talk to. E.g. 'kind of' becomes 'kinda', 'Yorkshire' and 'Lancashire' become 'Yorkshur' and 'Lanc'shur', 'water' becomes 'wa'er' and i never say 'as if' or 'yeh right' and the likes, in front of my parents.

Then, as many do, my strand of thought lead to TV. How easy is it to distinguish between peoples country or state / district by what they say. One thing I can already say, is that most american shows get the english accent horribly wrong. They always use the 'proper' sort of queens talk or cockney which is understandable because London is the capital but there are so many other dialects in England. Although it has to be said that a lot of English shows do the same with the American accents even if the do use a bit more of a variety. The contrast between accents on shows like Torchwood is quite cool i think but they just got an american guy to play the part which is probably just the best thing to do.

I've just realised that there was really was no point to this whole thing so i'm gonna (i.e. going to) make one up. For the next week I am going to try and speak the same no matter who i talk to. Now i just have to decide which of my many dialects to choose from...

Hello! This is my first ever blog.

I live in the UK which means that we get all the american programmes months late. My reason for stating this is that last night (mon 15) Prison Break season 2 started on C5. The previous week, ER season 13 started on C4. I've been watching ER properly for about the last 2 years and i didn't really get into Prison Break until the last couple of episodes of season 1. My problem is that they're on at the same time...

Should I be loyal and watch ER, which, excluding the new theme music, has not dissappointed me yet, or should I press the little 5 on my remote every monday night at 10 and watch Prison Break? Maybe I should watch (gulps) neither and do my hmwrk instead?

I was loyal last night, and watched ER, flicking channels during the ads but that was only 'cos i wanted to know what happened to the baby. What i managed to catch of Prison Break interested me but i was strong and went back to ER. But what about next week?

For today i am quite content to watch CSI (unless its one i've already seen a couple of times) so i guess this'll have to wait till monday and then i can do a spur of the moment thing.