Back, to defend the people and clean up the trash and other batman style things. Let's get going!

Hey all, I'm sick. I've got the flu and a temperature hovering around 100-101. I'm drinking lots of fluids and having various soups. I'm not going to around as much today and tomorrow, if you need anything Nilla and Jaxie are here for you. I should be back to normal, hopefully, in a day or two. Till then, pray for me...or don't, it's okay cuz I think I'll be fine regardless. Thanks all!

That's right, I'm so international they put me in the international forums. You know it... See, I was trottin' around Rome with Mila Kunis when I was accosted by fiendish accosters, all yelling and screaming and diving on my car. Luckily, I had a flamethrower with me and was able to melt most of 'em down into a thick, greasy pool. Later that day I flew to Paris and met up with my main lady-friend Brigitte Dale, who was sampling treats from a local pastry shop, or, as they say in French talk - Shoppe. We ate muffins and drank enormous cups of coffee and daydreamed silly kitten songs while the band played Iron Butterfly. When the press showed up, I unleashed my spike-umbrella and made quick work of those pigs. The following day I said, "later on," to Brigitte, and rode a jet ski over to Australia, to the home of this cute YouTube blogger I was trying hard to meet. She was home but thought I was a creep. I was badly beaten by a kangaroo later that day and don't consider it a very fun trip. I had to be air-lifted to Prague, where I was to be crowned Duke of Slattery and given the key to the city and a basket of sausages. I ate the sausages but lost the key, which is okay because it was symbolic and didn't open anything anyway on account of it was three feet long. Not sure how I lost a three foot key...all I can say is Pragues a rockin' place.

When word came down that I'd be interviewing Torchwood's Naoko Mori, AKA "Tosh", I was understandably excited. Torchwood, now in it's second season, is fast becoming one of the UK's hottest exports. For those of you unfamiliar with the show, it's an action packed, alien filled, Dr. Who spin-off in which all the characters are seemingly bi-sexual and snogging aliens is not an uncommon occurrence. Naoko plays "Toshiko Sato", AKA "Tosh", AKA "The Brains of the Operation." She's the gadget girl, a one woman Geek Squad who relates better to her computer than she does to her fellow team members. She's every nerds dream.

Preparing for the interview was a snap. I spent an entire day catching up on season 2 with a sharp eye peeled on Tosh. Not a bad job, right? I jotted down some notes, some observations, and then I got smart and opened a forum for you guys to ask questions. Brilliant huh? You guys asked some awesome questions, naturally, and I knew I'd be going into this thing strong. The only thing left to do was make sure I didn't oversleep. And as luck would have it, I didn't oversleep.

Here's how a typical phone interview works: A publicist calls your desk phone, introduces himself, talks up whichever celebrity you're about to interview, makes sure you pronounce their name correctly, gently guides you towards what you maybe, "should" be asking, and then patches you through. After a brief pause you hear, "Hello", and the interview is on. Now, a very important thing to remember is that you must turn on the Shoretel recording tool so later on you can send it to the transcription service. The transcription service will then send you a nice tidy interview you can quickly post up anywhere you like.

My interview with Naoko was, I thought, pretty typical, and once I started recording, it was all smooth sailing. Naoko was really cool, down to earth, and the conversation flowed beautifully. I asked my questions, I asked your questions, heck, and I even made up a few on the spot! Things were going well I thought. We chatted for about a half an hour or so, I thanked her for her time, she thanked me for mine, and when we hung up, I was all giggly. That's when things took a turn for the really bad.

The interview did not record. At first I thought I'd done something wrong but no, I hadn't, I followed the directions very carefully and was careful to make sure I was careful. This was, after all, a big interview. So I called IT and explained the situation. A co-worker told me IT could, in some cases, retrieve lost recordings from the Shoretel phone system and I was hoping for a miracle.

The conversation went like this:

Me: Hi, is there anyway you can find my interview?

IT: What time did it start?

Me: Around five after nine.

IT: When did it end?

Me: Around quarter to ten.

IT: Ah...well, the thing is...we, uh, we reset the Shoretel servers at 9:25 this morning because we were having some trouble...

Me: So it's gone?

IT: It didn't record anything, yeah...

Me: Oh dear.

Right, so that was that. My interview was lost, I'd look like a fool if I called Naoko back and explained things, and I'd gotten up early for no reason. It wasn't the best start to a day but I knew I'd have to suck it up and try to get something out of the great interview no one would ever hear and I couldn't use quotes.

This piece you are reading is what I've come up with and I hope you're enjoying it. In case you're wondering how Tosh felt about Owen's death in "Reset", I can tell you she felt pretty bad. According to Naoko, it's going to have a huge effect on the entire team. And just when Tosh was started to catch feelings for Owen, oi, the timing is terrible. But Tosh's character has grown since season 1. She's more confident now, more at ease in her own skin. We may be witnessing the birth of a stronger, more determined Tosh who believes in herself and understands how valuable she is to the team. Naoko and I agreed that's what seems to be happening.

Owen may be down but is he out? We doubt it. This is Torchwood after all and death is no match for Torchwood. So what other relationships might be ripe for development this season? If you said Gwen you might be right. I can't tell you for certain because I forgot but it stands to reason that Gwen being the only other female on the team, a strong one at that, might be just the kind of role model Tosh could connect with. Naoko hinted at possible jealousy during season 1 could turn into a sort of admiration. Gwen of course, is the only character with a life outside of Torchwood, something Tosh has been missing for far too long.

Now that I'm writing all this, it probably wouldn't have hurt to ask Naoko about retrieving the lost interview. I mean, she is pretty tech savvy herself. Don't quote me on this, or her for that matter, but I believe she mentioned something about being a bit of a geek. Pretty exciting, eh fellows?

Oh, and I'm sorry to disappoint but there will be no musical episode. Yes, it's true that Naoko, John Barrowman did musical theater together once upon a time; and yes, Burn Gorman and Gareth David-Lloyd are musicians, but the idea of a musical episode, Naoko and I agreed - stinks. She didn't say it stinks, I did, but I'm pretty sure she agreed. We agreed on a lot of things actually. I should have asked if she was married.

I ended the interview with a fantastic question. I asked, "Naoko, do you believe in UFOs?" She said she did believe in UFOs and took it a step further saying there had to be parallel universes, inter-dimensional beings, aliens, etc. etc. I was blown away, it was another thing we agreed upon. That made like forty things! You can't quote me on that, or her on that, because the interview was lost in the depths of the Shoretel universe where some interviews go and never return.

Or was it a time rift? Could it be that the rift opened and swallowed my interview? I don't think I'll ever know. You'll have to take my word for all this because that's all you can do. I have no back up, no evidence to support my story but I give you my word it is the truth as I remember it. If you happen to be one of those lucky people who are friends with Naoko you can ask her, she'll vouch for me. And if you do talk to her, see if she'll give me another interview.

I can't stop watching it. This past weekend I was paralyzed in front of the television as episode after episode flickered stupidly before my eyes. I fear this weekend might be a repeat of last and I'll never get to plant my sweet basil and chives. The thought of a couple of six packs and six or seven hours of ANTM is sounding pretty good right now. I have to fight the urge. The show is stupid, right? I mean, these are the beautiful people and I'm not fan of the beautiful. That Miss J guy makes me want to strangle someone. But I can't look away. Last weekend I forced myself to go downstairs to the bar for a ANTM time-out. I figured I'd play the jukebox and have a cocktail and forget about the girls and Miss J and the Tyra mail. I put five bucks in and played my songs. I ordered a gin ricky and tried to relax. Know what happened? I'll tell you. My rotten roomate comes down and puts ANTM on one of the giant flat screen plasmas looming over my head. Miss J sat there twelve times the size of god mocking me. The bartender put on the captions so we could watch. "No tip for you!", I said. I ended up with a stiff neck but I completed the cycle. God have mercy on my soul, I completed the cycle.