... In April 2008! Gahh I can't wait. I've never been there and I've been bugging my parents about going forever, and they finally gave in! Actually, it was between going to Las Vegas or going to Lake Tahoe on a ski/snowboard trip (I've been snowboarding my whole life, and I'd love to go there, especially because I've read "Remember Lake Tahoe", which is one of the GSR/CSI fics known to man), but we decided on Las Vegas.

It's going to be sooo fun because we're staying on The Strip at the Flamingo and probably the Riviera, and we're gonna go to the Stratosphere and theNew York New York and ride all the rides! Haha, now only five more months to go until spring break!

Yesterday. It was pretty bad, at least for me. I guess you could say I'm kind of the type to let things bottle up and hope that they'll just fade away, (and usually they do... at least for a little while), because I don't really like talking to anyone about my feelings. Yesterday, however, I was being really b*tchy with my mom and sister because there were several things that had just been building up and I was extremely frustrated with everything, and so finally my mom explodes at me saying stuff like "You are such a b*tch" and "If you don't have anything nice to say, shut the hell up", and I just burst into tears because I hadn't even meant to take anything out on anyone.

I ended up telling her how insecure I am (I'm wayyyyy too insecure for one person), and how I don't feel comfortable talking to anyone, not even her. I did tell her, however, that I think I might be actually depressed, like people who cut themselves and consider suicide. No, I don't cut myself, but sometimes I feel like not living anymore would make things much better. So my mom eventually decided that I need therapy. Yes, therapy. Therapy where you talk to a stranger about your problems and they supposedly help you get better. I don't know if it will actually help, but I've been feeling so horrible about everything lately, and I don't want it to get out of control. And I don't want to think about suicide.

Has anyone on here been to therapy before? If you have, does it help? You can PM me if you don't want to comment publicly about it. Any help would be appreciated.

I'm excited for - and dreading - next week's CSI. What will happen? Could this lead to Jorja leaving the show? Everything looks great now, but could it go horribly wrong?

We don't know. Well, I don't know. I'm spoiler-free. Except promos.

And I had sushi and pancakes for dinner. And I have no school tomorrow. And it's 11:37 pm here and I'm feeling crazyyyyyyyyyy.

GSR!

I felt the need.

AIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I've officially decided that 'Dead Doll' is my favorite CSI episode ever. I really thought Sara was going to die, but I'm beyond excited that she didn't.

First of all, I squeed SO loud when Sara picked up her phone and answered "Hello, Gilbert". How cute! And slightly dirty... They're so adorable together. I also loved Grissom's flashback to the chalk scene. Slimply amazing.

My favorite part of the whole episode was the last scene, though. I really couldn't ask for more. Some may say they wish they could've seen a GSR kiss then, but I don't. The scene was beyond perfect for me. The whole time I just knew that Sara was going to open her eyes, and when she did the way her and Griss looked at each otherwas just breathtaking. They're perfect for each other. And it wasn't even eye-sex, it was more like they were saying "I love you" with their eyes, you know?

On top of all of that, I found myself breathing for Sara when she was under the car and when she collapsed in the desert. Plus, I was sobbing the whole time, even after we found out she lived.

This is going to be an amazing season - let's just hope Jorja says on the show!

I've decked out my whole profile with Sara Sidle stuff. I've been praying that she lives, and I'm not even lying.

For those who were wondering, I will still watch CSI even if Jorja leaves the show (if you know what I mean) but I will be no where near as excited about it. I just want to clarify that I began watching CSI because it was an interesting forensics show, and I loved it. I remember the days before my discovery of GSR, when I watched the show solely for the awesome cases.

But that day has come and gone. GSR is a part of me now, which I am both happy and disappointed to admit. I almost wish I had never come across GSR, as tomorrow won't be as painful if I hadn't. (If... you know... she goes.)

I am not looking forward to tomorrow. I just have to get that off my chest. I kind of never want it to come, and even though Sara is just a TV character, I love her, and no matter what happens that will never change. Sigh. About 25 and a half hours left for me.

Tomorrow could be the best day ever, or the worst. I guess we'll just have to wait and see.

Good luck, Sara.