Day pass and To Serge wherever he is...
Hi,
My first day off from the hospital. I went shopping with my mom and Souzie; bought clothes and some things I need for the hospital. I have to go back tonight so I don't have time to read blogs since my mom and sister Mannon are here, but I read all the messages from my previous blog and you can PM me, if you miss me I'll answer (Norma, I added Sarah).
I should be in hospital for another 2 weeks minimum, but I'm hoping to have the whole week-end off next week.
This is the last blog I wrote this for the anniversary of my uncle Serge Rhéaume's death on November 18:
To Serge wherever he is...
On Saturday morning I was not sleeping and at Karine's, I talked to Fyn about many things and I started to talk about my uncle Serge, the people who knew me a year ago went through his sickness with me and how it was hard to loose him. Serge was not always my uncle; he met my uncle Claude-Arnel two years before I met Serge myself. They had a great complicity and you know how your affinities just click with someone, how the first moment you meet them, you know they will be important to you? I felt this way about Serge. Probably because of the significance of that morning in my life. I know I've told the story before, but on Christmas when I was 23, I came out to my parents, it wasn't a big deal, I had left plenty of hints for the last two years since I had come to really know myself. So after that little anti-climax of me telling my dad that I needed to tell him something, but I wanted to wait for my mom (who was in the basement) and him answering: "c'est tu pour nous dire que tu préfères les filles?" (is it to tell us you prefer girls?). We left for breakfast at a restaurant, my uncle Claude-Arnel had brought his boyfriend of two years that I had never met.
I remember a lot of things about first meeting Serge because that day is burnt in my memory... What everyone said, how every reacted at the table... In fact the reason I said I was gay on that morning is because of Serge. His secretary was having migraines (I have them) and he was telling me how taking the pill has really helped her (really I think my uncle was mistaken or this is a really rare case, doctors try not to recommend the pill to women who have severe migraines), but any way, I said that I was told it wasn't good in my case and anyway since I was gay I didn't see why I should take it. So from the moment, I met Serge he was there for me and I guess I felt how he loved me, I mean it is hard to explain and I'm sure you have been in similar situations. I remember my uncle Claude-Arnel was giving me a lift home and uncle Serge was going to his sister's and Claude-Arnel was meeting him there. So I went down the stairs before him and said without turning to my uncle Claude-Arnel: "Tu lui donne pas un bec t'es cheap" (you don't even kiss him, how cheap) 
.
For that day, Serge and I always had a particular way of talking about things, they are things I would never discuss here and with few people in my life, but Serge new them.
Too loose him was very personal and it was the second death for me since in June, Raymond one of my father's best friend, a priest had died. I call Raymond, my second grand-father when talking in the family. I was not near my mom's father and she understands that I loved Raymond much more, we have discussed this. It might sound cruel to say something like that to my mom, but she really does get it.
Last year, when Serge died, I knew next to nothing about his professional life, I wasn't ready to explore it. Since then I got curious one bored one afternoon at work and researched him on the Internet. I learned so many things I didn't know, the conferences he gave are on there, speeches he gave; I mean MY UNCLE is someone who his very well known and to me, that's something I had never realized; this is an obit have found of him, please read it. So no, he wasn't a celebrity and he wasn't in a domain everybody hears of, but all the heroes I may have in my life that I will never meet, none, to me are SERGE RHÉAUME, not one can equal how great he was; how accepting of himself; being out at work was something he never considered, he didn't want to speak with his colleagues that he was gay been with the same man for almost 15 years, it was none or their business, they knew he was gay it was just not something he wanted to be acknowledge at work. I missed his funeral because of his death because I was sick, I almost fainted at work, I just couldn't cope and I had known for months it was coming. It was so hard and then a month later my grand-father died.
To Serge wherever you are... YOU ARE THE ONLY HERO I WILL EVER NEED TO HAVE KNOWN AND MET IN MY LIFE.
This is the reason why I don't need John Barrowman to answer. I know some people might have doubt the fact I don't really care either way, I'm not saying that if he does, I won't be happy, I am a fan; what I am saying is in my life, my real life, there was and will be only one gay hero and he was my uncle and I was so lucky to have him in my life. Nothing can ever make me luckier.
I end with the pic of my uncle and what he wrote:
Be good,
Phin xx
Sign up to post comments!
