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1.A sailor walks into a bar. The bartender immediately notices that this is a pretty well built guy but he has the tiniest little pinhead. After serving the sailor a couple of drinks, curiosity finally gets the best of the bartender and he asks the sailor why he had a normal sized body with such a tiny head. The sailor tells him this story: "I was involved in a naval battle where I was the only survivor. I was stranded on a deserted island in the middle of the ocean for months, when I happened across a mermaid while I was walking on the beach." She was on the beach and couldn't get back in the water so I helped her get back to the ocean, she was so grateful she granted me three wishes. I first asked to be rescued off that god forsaken island. She... Read more »

1.A man who smelled like a distillery flopped on a subway seatnext to a priest. The man's tie was stained, his face wasplastered with red lipstick, and a half-empty bottle of gin wassticking out of his torn coat pocket. He opened his newspaperand began reading. After a few minutes the disheveled guy turnedto the priest and asked, "Say, Father, what causes arthritis?""My son, it's caused by loose living, being with cheap, wickedwomen, too much alcohol, and a contempt for your fellow man.""Well, I'll be damned," the drunk muttered, returning to his paper.The priest, thinking about what he had said, nudged the man andapologized. "I'm very sorry, I didn't mean to come on so strong.How long have you had arthritis?""I don't have it, Father. I was just reading here... Read more »