Coming out of this weekend with functioning legs deserves a prize. I get a paycheque. It's strangely satisfying this time, well it is right now...I'll update that after bills. :/

A recent good mood has spurred my writing again. I'm collaborating with a friend on a Peter Pan story, which may be a comic later. The other project I've been messing with is a musical about an emo-kid in love. I've tried this before, but this time I've got a little better of a handle on the songs.

When I saw Moulin Rouge first, I thought to myself, "Modern takes on classic songs in a rousing musical! What a great idea!" Then I thought, "Why is 'Silly Love Songs' so tragically underused?" Eventually, I grew to hate the movie for turning tragedy into a half-hearted gimmick.

"She's dead, Obi-Wan."
"What? How?"
"Plot device."
"We had 17 seconds of screentime left! Couldn't this have been handled sooner?"
"Get off the backlot, Mr. Kenobi. We have to start filming The Matrix Revolutions."
"Where is that hack writer? Where is he??? I'll kill him! I'll KILL HIM!!!"

A few years later, I began thinking about using the concept of Moulin Rouge's mish-mash approach to many cl***ics, but telling a darker more modern story using some rock songs. The opening number is a boy leaving home for school where he puts on a tough facade to get through the day. His mother sings Desperado. The boy sings his own song about his life. The townspeople sing the melody from "The Memory Remains". In the end, he and his mother sing the "It's funny how the feeling goes away" verse together. Then the townspeople all rise together in chorus to mock the boy singing, "Your prison is walking through this world all alone"

The story gets happier, but that's another song. If I can work it out better and get a little more material, I might upload the full lyrics.

Actually, Zack is my brother in law.

This week has been really long. I worked 10 hour days at least all this week. Yesterday I worked from 6:00 to 9:00 then had to wake up at 4:00 today for another 10 and a half hour day. I'd really like a massage right now. I'll probably just sleep all weekend instead.

Today's story concerns a woman at my work I don't really like. She's the kind of girl that shuns responsiblity, has no group mentality and talks too much. She's a Peruvian mother of I estimate 4, always speaks on her cell phone or to some gal-pal she borrows to feel important. My experiences with her consist of me working under her lead, getting no direction from her and having her drop everything into my lap at the end of the day. She'll take the pictures, but at the end of the day, she drops all of the Lead's paperwork onto some poor sap. She breaks down her equipment when the last class of kids is coming, sends them to my camera and drives home immediately. One day she forced all of her work on a girl at the office and made her cry at a school in front of everyone. She's the kind of Heartless that Frank Miller writes about.

I decided early on to never let her push me around. One day she worked at a job with me and sent the last class to me while she broke down. The second I took the picture for the last kid, she had everything in her car and was off to go home. I had my paperwork next to me and a mountain of equpment to break down, put in boxes and shove into a car (imagine disassembling a home theater system, paccking a concert, and then playing tetris with a miata). Not to thrilled that my "lead" had no idea what the term implied, I did my job and went back to the office. I don't think I filled out my paperwork.

Back at the office, I drive up in my shiny Honda Civic and park. Immediately, this woman rushes me "Where is your paperwork? I have to leave now." I looked at her confused, "My paper...? I left it by your station at the des . . ." Then I really sold it by dropping my jaw in shock. "It's STILL there, isn't it???"

Panic set in and she ran back inside. I opened her car door, put the paperwork on her seat in plain sight and drove off, giggling like a masochist that stubbed his toe. I love my job.

I can't actually pronounce that.

As vaugely inferred, I work at Lifetouch. I used to work there before. Now I work there again, just started this month. You get a lot of stories working with the crew (who have been driven insane due to unenforced labour laws), the kids (who are so loud I can only hear by feeling the vibrations of someone's chest) and the fatigue-induced hallucinations that plauge your mind after the 15th hour of working in a sweltering gym with nothing to eat except your fellow man.

I'll post another story. One day, I was doing the usual setup. Not to blow any trade secrets, you calibrate your lights by photographing a color card (available at The Photo Hut for 19.59) and have to take a picture of a white pad of paper to ensure that any dust in the photo will be ignored (sketch pad available at any art store for 30.00 depending on quality and sheet count). As usual, there was a huge crowd of children, eager to see what was happening in the maaaagical world of technology. I was in a good mood. I like photographing elementary schools. The kids at middle schools are a hair past evil and the high schoolers - while easy to level with - are plagued with insolent seniors, all of which want to do craaaazy things at the camera. Suffice to say, given a choice, I'd rather work with kids. There's enough attitude in the situation with me with my bag of Pringles on my shoulder.

I was taking a picture of my Dust Board, the white paper. Some kids were all "Oooo! So neat!" "That young man is a God!" "Look at his hair!" I replied with a "That's right kids, and you too can be like me!"
Oh right, my story.

The kids asked "Why is he taking a picture of a piece of paper?" I didn't have enough material, so I ignored the question. Another kid was like "You go piece of paper! Work it! It's your birthday! It's your birthday!"

I then said to the kids in a serious tone. "You need to stop making fun of the piece of paper. You're going to make it cry."

The kid didn't miss a beat. "It's his birthday. He can cry if he wants to."

I like ageless kids. The ones that come to my camera wearing a John Lennon - Give Peace a Chance t-shirt. The ones that if you make a reference to Monty Python, they follow up on it. Kids gotta respect the ****ics. I feel like an old man now. All I need is a lawn and an old bloodhound at the feet of my old wooden rocking chair.

Next week's story: The Time When My Grandpappy Took Me Fishing!

Also C-L-A-S-S-I-C-S is a baaaad word...!

...I hate them.

In response (or perhaps its better to consider it a snide satirization) to Auntie's blzg entry.

The Top 10 Things You Always Wanted To Know About Auntie But Shouldn't Have Asked (and now it's too late) [Editor's note: This copied text should pertain to MoA. Instead, I look like an idiot.]

10. I have an CD that goes from Portishead to Garth Brooks. My girlfriend hates me.

9. I consider myself a "car vigilante". I am a kind driver, who will let you over if you have your blinker on. If you abuse the road in any way, I will pin you into a lane for 30 miles. I've always wanted to swerve when someone drives down the side of the road to avoid traffic and watch them swerve into a ditch.

8. I consider myself an alcoholic, but I'm really just a lightweight that can't handle the aroma from a beer in another room without - wooo, I'm soooo druuuunk!

7. I don't believe in money. This causes me great stress when suddenly this paper matters and I have none. Then I start kvetchiing about America needing to "reset" the dollar bill.

6. I have always wanted to work in film, but would probably take things too far. For instance, my idea of how to end Avatar: The Last Copout Kid's Program would have probably traumatized many children . . . and created another foil-snuffing writer.

5. I wanted to be a vet when I was younger, but wouldn't be able to live with putting pets to sleep.

4. If I buy a new CD I have to listen to a the whole thing a few times before I can discover individual tracks and place context within the music. It helps if I'm doing something while listening. For instance, I can't play Enigma without remembering wandering through Vanadiel as a Tarutaru.

3. I believe that there are many things that are done with no other reason than to hurt yourself. For instance, I smoke, drink coffee and watch Naruto all because I have a death wish and want to slowly poison myself. I just watched a Nicorette Cinnamon Fire commercial and said "Until they make 'Ashy Self-Loathing' flavour, I'm not interested."

2. I make up words and use British spellings to amuse myself. One of my favourites is saying 'complected' when I mean 'complicated'. My girlfriend hates me.

1. I once met an Elvira at a middle school photoshoot like a year ago. I looked at her skeptically. "Your name is Elvira?" I cast out the baited line.
"Mmm-hm!" ...spoken like a true optimist.
"Do you know who you're named after?"
"..." Damn. She stole my catchphrase.
"Do me a favour. Rent an Elvira movie on your way home. After you see it, ask your parents why they don't love you."

Oh and 11. I'm a bad person.

Just got back from a midnight showing of Batman, The Dark Knight. While the first maybe 20 minutes are dull and you may not think Heath Ledger is doing the Joker justice, the pace quickly picks up and a labyrintine masterplot begins unfolding in a chaotic mess of brilliance and tragic sadism - in other words, nothing short of what a movie starring the Joker should demand. I have often said that a truly great story captivates you no matter what you know about it. For instance, I saw The Sixth Sense already knowing that Bruce Willis was a ghost. Few people sit down to watch Star Wars without knowing the fact that Luke Skywalker is Darth Vader's son. You know by the end of the movie, Debbie will have Done Dallas. Similarly, many people know what the name "Harvey Dent" implies.

While his character arc may be similar to that of Anakin Skywalker, Harvey Dent's fall lies worlds beyond that of the figure of George Lucas' prequel trilogy. Though this movie is about Batman facing the Joker and recognizing the parallels within himself and the villian, my favorite parts in the movie dealt with Dent's descent into depravity. Eckhart's portrayal and flexibility evinced in this work is chilling. Yes, Heath Ledger is brilliant. Yes, he is a different Joker than Jack Nicholson, but comparing the two of them only shows the strengths of the character. While the first Joker was a kid playing with toys, Ledger's Joker is a kid trying to incite a rise out of a lesser person and then toying with them as they prostrate themselves to his mercy. This is best shown in a scene where Joker and Dent speak candidly on chaos (which the Joker symbolizes) and chance (which Dent's Two-Face rises to command).

The movie has a run time of 2 hours and 45 minutes, all of which is well spent and filled with compelling character drama. The first Batman in the reset Batman Begins established a precedence for credibility and a serious tone which this movie continues well. Thankfully, this series shows no signs of caving to silly villians or campy dialogue and aside from a minor break in continuity, it stands strong. Had Iron Man not already came out, this would have been the best Superhero movie of the year.

...please don't leave a comment debating whether or not Batman is a "super" hero.