Max and Caroline's Current Total: $675.00
Peach: That's why I'm here. Max come back, I need you to watch the twins tomorrow, and then everyday.
Max: Peach, I don't think I can work for you tomorrow, or any other day. We have to focus on our business.
Caroline: Max, are you sure your comfortable with this?
Max: No, I'm not comfortable, but that's the point right? You gotta take a step.
Peach: Oh, then how about just another year, by then the twins will be old enough to take care of themselves.
Max: Nope, but I promise I'll come by and say 'Hi' to the twins whenever I can.
Peach: Oh Max, I'll never find someone as wonderful as you who speaks English.
Peach: I'm sorry for pretending to fire you in front of Constance.
Max: Pretended? That felt pretty real.
Peach: Yea, I'm good! My fake orgasms are so real, even I believe them!
Max: Peach, what are you doing here? Who's with the twins?
Peach: They're in the car. Don't worry, I rolled up the windows and locked the doors, so they're safe.
Peach: (to Earl as she enters the diner) I'm looking for Max Black, oh, sorry maybe it's African-American.
Earl: You think her name is Max African-American?
Caroline: Oleg, do you really love Sophie?
Oleg: Yes, I do, and one day I will kiss her. Her lips will be mine!
Max: Wait, you've never kissed her?
Oleg: Not on the lips of her face, but that day will come! (leave)
Max: Man, I can't believe I'm saying this, but that was pretty freakin' romantic!
Sohie: Oh, it is not love! (begin to leave) (stop) It was dirty, disgusting sex!
Han: Yes, it was!
(Caroline walks into the freezer and screams as Oleg and Sophie walk out)
Sophie: What? I had to prove the sex was not that good.
Caroline: Oleg, on the food.
Oleg: Don't say it like that. That ham was already glazed before we got there. (awkward pause)
Max: So I'm guessing your back together.
Sophie: Oh no, no the sex was not that good.
Oleg: Oh, it was that good. (Han walks out of the freezer holding the mayo)
Han: I went to get mayo… and it all happened so fast.
Oleg: Hello, Sophie.
Sophie: Hello, Oleg.
Oleg: So, do you miss the sex?
Caroline: Oh! You know what, we should go.
Sophie: No, we are having conversation here. And besides, the sex was not that good.
Oleg: Oh, it was that good.
Sophie: It wasn't that good.
Caroline: Please, I beg you. Let us go.
Max: You can go; I'm kind of into it. It's like a dirty Downton Abbey.
Sophie: So why are you still standing there, giving me sad cow eyes in that brown velour?
Oleg: Because it's a good look on me. And because I'm waiting for you to admit, that you came here because you missed the sex.
Sophie: I miss summers in Minsk. I miss smoking in hospitals. (pause) But I don't miss the sex.
Oleg: Fine then. What would you like to eat?
Sophie: I'll have my usual sausage.
Oleg: Okay. Ding. It's ready.
Original International Air Dates:
Canada: April 30, 2012 on Citytv
United Kingdom: September 13, 2012 on E4/E4 HD
Germany: February 5, 2013 on ProSieben
Turkey: June 11, 2013 on CNBC-e