They found his paramour in a truck stop south of the border, with five bricks of candy cane hash taped to her stomach and three more clogging up the toilet. They couldn't stick him with anything, so he just spent a sleepless night in a holding cell while "Santa Claus is Coming to Town" blared from the nightwatchman's radio. The next day, he stumbled out of the border patrol station to find that coyotes siphoned the gas from his motorcycle. Unmoved, he struck a match on his boot, lit his penultimate Marlboro, and watched the December sun peer through the thicket of clouds.moreless
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