Pale Force

NBC Premiered Sep 15, 2005 In Season


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Episode Guide


  • Season 1
    • Pale Force Action Figures
      Pick up some Pale Force action figures and/or a "My Pretty Conan" for that special someone! Available... nowhere.
    • Conan The Big Red Dork
      Introducing Conan and Jim's new animated show for kids.
    • Land of The Robots
      Land of The Robots
      Episode 21
      Conan and Jim are captured by evil space robots.
    • So You Think You're Pale
      Conan makes it to the finals on a reality show.
    • Canadatown
      Episode 19
      Jim and Conan discover Lady Bronze's evil scheme to use global warming to destroy America and make Canada a world power.
    • Lady Pale, Part III
      Lady Bronze drops in on her sister Lady Pale and her pale-ification machine.
    • Lady Pale, Part II
      Lady Pale, Part II
      Episode 17
      When tan people begin turning pale, Jim turns to an adversary for help.
    • Lady Pale, Part I
      Lady Pale, Part I
      Episode 16
      The Pale-American Parade is disrupted by tan troublemakers.
    • Carnival Conan
      Carnival Conan
      Episode 15
      A pupet master tries to trick Conan into joining the Carnival.
    • Maine vs. Utah
      Maine vs. Utah
      Episode 14
      Which State will be declared the palest, and win the honor of being on The Legion of Pale.
    • Flapjacks for Jim
      Flapjacks for Jim
      Episode 13
      Jeff Zucker threatens to pull Conan's plug unless he gets back to work; Coma O'Brian is a hit! Jeff Zucker attemps to clone Conan.
    • The Cliffhanger
      The Cliffhanger
      Episode 12
      While Jim is having a party in the hot tub, Conan is sitting aside reading a book, entitled "Starting Puberty in Your 40's". A stray beach ball bounces out of the hot tub and lightly taps Conan on the head, knocking him unconscious. He is then seen in a hospital bed, the doctor announces that Conan is in a coma, is completely pale, has complete muscle atrophy, and severe retardation. The doctor then states that he's "never seen a recovery from someone this weak and this untalented." Jim then starts reminiscing about the "good times" they had together, most of which involve O'Brien either wetting himself or running scared. One of the machines start beeping and a nurse explains that his urine count is off the chart, and suggests that giving Jim a spongebath would help. It then turns to a Fox News report by Greta Van Sustren, saying that Writer, Actor, Comedian Jim Gaffigan's lesser known sidekick, Conan O'Brien, has fallen into a severe coma, and that petitions have been circulating to pull the plug as soon as possible. It then shows Jay Leno passing a petition around the crowd. She then reports that Conan is sure to die unless he personally funds another series of pale be continued?moreless
    • Law & Order: Pale Force
      Jim and Conan investigate a tanning bed murder.
    • 11/23/06
      When Pale Force becomes a theatrical movie, Conan isn't happy with his big screen portrayal.
    • Pale Christmas
      Pale Christmas
      Episode 9
      Conan is mocked by everybody (including Jesus and Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer) for his paleness, and fired by boss Jeff Zucker (in a wheelchair a la Mr. Potter) as he says "I'm Jewish, you moron, you just lost the Tonight Show!" With his holiday spirit broken, Conan arrives at a bridge and meets Jimmy Stewart, who greets him with "What's the matter little girl?" and tells him "Why don't you jump off the bridge and kill yourself? That's what I'd do you pale freak." At this moment Conan wishes he had never been pale. Suddenly his skin becomes tanned, and Jim appears to show him what Conan's life would be if he had never been pale. First he takes him to the set of Late Night with Conan O'Brien, but instead of Conan, the host is now Howdy O'Doody. He continues to tell him that he never went to Harvard because he was so popular in High School. Jim then tells him that he is one of the hosts of The View. When Conan says "A host of The View what could possibly be more humiliating.", Death shows him his tombstone which reads "Conan O'Brien - Fired from 'The View'", next to Star Jones and others who were also fired. Conan then wishes that he was pale again. A slice of white bread then appears and says that it's his "Fairy White Bread" and that to be pale again Conan must eat him with Mayo. Conan becomes pale again and starts to sing "Christmas is the Palest Time of Year" with other pale people.moreless
    • Conan in Love
      Conan in Love
      Episode 8
      He thinks it's some pretty woman when the woman sends a picture of a stick figure drawing. It turns out to actually be Lady Bronze. Jim, who is in the hot tub with The Mona Lisa, George Bush, Laura Bush, and The Scream, tells Conan to take it slow, after all he's been married to Yoko Ono, Tom Arnold and Sally Jesse Raphael. When she goes over to The Shade Cave, she tricks him and traps him. Jim, however, comes to the rescue and makes a spoof of To Catch a Predator by Dateline NBC. It ends in hilarity when Stone Phillips turns out to be a R2D2 and his head falls off, but is on a spring.moreless
    • Conan and the King
      Jim scolds Conan for touching it, saying it is needed to fight crime in the future. Conan wishes he could be in a world where people would appreciate him as he accidentally trips the switch on the time machine and is transported to 17th century England. Conan arrives naked in the year 1665 inside of Buckingham Palace. He hops into a wardrobe, where he changes into traditional (and flamboyant) clothing. Three dandies admire Conan for his femininity and pale complexion. Conan enjoys the newfound attention and exclaims, "Wow, real friends!" Conan becomes part of a eunuch choir which performs in front of the royal family. Conan is locked in the Tower of London where bobbies tell him that he will be there until he is skin and bones and in a pool of his own urine, to which Conan cries, "I already am." Conan has a hallucination about Cinderella, but quickly wakes up to a kiss from a fellow prisoner. Meanwhile, Jim travels back in time and poses as a statue. He then steals a suit of armor and breaks Conan out of prison. The duo is confronted by the king who propositions Conan to stay in an age where pale, effeminate men rule the world and wetting one's breeches is a sign of sophistication. Jim questions who will do his ironing, prompting Conan to agree to go back to modern times. Conan cleans the Shade Cave while Jim takes a hot tub with Wonder Woman.moreless
    • Charlie Rose
      Charlie Rose
      Episode 6
      Rose incessantly interrupts and asks banal questions of the duo. Then, he announces that the country of Afghanistan has changed its name to "Gafganistan". Rose reveals that he had recently done interviews with Pale Force's arch-nemesis Lady Bronze. Bronze says that she only hates pale people and that shouldn't take away from all of the work she's done for non-pale children. During the flashback, Rose rolls another tape of his interview with a USB port. During this flashback, Rose says that two years from this point he will be interviewing Pale Force. The show returns to a dumbfounded Pale Force. Rose then bids his audience adieu and the show closes.moreless
    • Miss Massachusetts
      Once-pale stars Lindsay Lohan, Scarlett Johansson and Clay Aiken have all become strikingly tan over the last year and have also become increasingly promiscuous. Their connection- they were all participants in the Miss Pale America pageant. Jim nominates Conan to infiltrate the pageant dressed in drag to retrieve valuable information. Nicole Kidman, Gwyneth Paltrow, Bette Midler, Christina Ricci and Sarah Vowell take Conan shopping. After a musical montage, Conan only needs to don a dress and a pair of earrings in order to pass off as a woman. Once at the competition, a doctor announces that in addition to the drug screening, there were no irregular testosterone levels in any contestant, ergo, no competitor had a penis or testicles, much to Conan's chagrin. When other Miss Pale America contestants make fun of Conan's hair, he runs off crying. Once outside, Conan is encountered by Wilmer Valderrama who forces Conan to get into his car. Jim and Larry Bird watch the situation unfold from a Wonder Bread van. The Miss Pale America Pageant begins with a monologue by Vladamir Putin. Conan plays Danny Boy on a glass harp and ribbon dances for the talent portion of the competition. Judges Ed Begley Jr., Elijah Wood and Wilmer Valderrama unanimously crown Conan the winner. After the competition, Wilmer Valderrama propositions Conan to make good on his promise and become tan. Jim interrupts and punches Valderrama out. Conan then gives Jim his victory bouquet which Jim proceeds to eat.moreless
    • Sidekicks
      Episode 4
      Conan reveals that he feels unequal to Jim after Jim's image is added to Mount Rushmore when Pale Force saves President Lincoln's sculpture from being vandalized. Meanwhile Conan only is given a small, embarrassing statue. Conan regains confidence when Jim shows up to the sidekick support program and says he always felt like he was Conan's sidekick. Jim declares that both members of Pale Force will be treated as equals. Jim then goes to Mexico in a Conan-powered-rickshaw.moreless
    • Pale Impostor
      Pale Impostor
      Episode 3
      He decides to use his acting powers to imitate Jim and give him a bad reputation. After Hoffman successfully touts about town drinking alcohol and doing other questionable activities dressed as Jim, it is necessary for Jim to be presented in front of the Legion of Pale, where he is banished to the shade cave. At the cave, Hoffman (dressed as Jim) is about to blow up the cave when Conan comes out, thoroughly confused. Jim comes out of the cave, and Conan, now with a revolver in his hand, must decide which one is the imposter and which is the real Jim. They go back and forth saying facts about Conan that are generally very wimpy attributes such as "you have ambiguous genitalia." Jim saves the day because Conan's gun is made of chocolate.moreless
    • Pale Force Begins
      It starts with Conan watching Pale Man, which is a show only starring Jim and has a different theme song. Conan then leaves his house and is bullied by children about half of his size. Jim then saves Conan and teaches him to use his pale power. Jim presents him to the Legion Of Pale (name reminiscent to the Legion of Doom), with members such as Ron Howard, The White Stripes, Larry Bird, Nicole Kidman, Senator John McCain, Santa Claus, Sir Elton John, Chris Matthews, The State of Utah, a polar bear, Philip Seymour Hoffman and Richie "LaBamba" Rosenberg (who is not actually pale but makes a quip about Conan). Lady Bronze captures the duo later in the episode, and Conan saves them by breaking the machinery they are tied to through urination.moreless
    • Meet Pale Force
      Meet Pale Force
      Episode 1
      Jim and Conan shine their chests at the robbers and blind them with whiteness. Later, Lady Bronze, the main villain in the series, captures Conan and Jim comes to save him. It is ended on a cliffhanger with Lady Bronze saying "Jim don't kill me, I love you," to which he responds "You don't love me, you love crime."moreless