Pale Force

Season 1 Episode 9

Pale Christmas

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Pale Christmas
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Conan is mocked by everybody (including Jesus and Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer) for his paleness, and fired by boss Jeff Zucker (in a wheelchair a la Mr. Potter) as he says "I'm Jewish, you moron, you just lost the Tonight Show!" With his holiday spirit broken, Conan arrives at a bridge and meets Jimmy Stewart, who greets him with "What's the matter little girl?" and tells him "Why don't you jump off the bridge and kill yourself? That's what I'd do you pale freak." At this moment Conan wishes he had never been pale. Suddenly his skin becomes tanned, and Jim appears to show him what Conan's life would be if he had never been pale. First he takes him to the set of Late Night with Conan O'Brien, but instead of Conan, the host is now Howdy O'Doody. He continues to tell him that he never went to Harvard because he was so popular in High School. Jim then tells him that he is one of the hosts of The View. When Conan says "A host of The View what could possibly be more humiliating.", Death shows him his tombstone which reads "Conan O'Brien - Fired from 'The View'", next to Star Jones and others who were also fired. Conan then wishes that he was pale again. A slice of white bread then appears and says that it's his "Fairy White Bread" and that to be pale again Conan must eat him with Mayo. Conan becomes pale again and starts to sing "Christmas is the Palest Time of Year" with other pale people.moreless
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