Rescue Me

Season 4 Episode 1


Aired Wednesday 10:00 PM Jun 13, 2007 on FX



  • Trivia

    • When Tommy and Janet are talking about Colleen having sex with her boyfriend, they mention two pieces of information: that Colleen is 18 and that Tommy got Janet pregnant in the 70's. If the last season took place five years after 9/11, it's safe to say that this one takes place in 2007. That means that Tommy has to have got Janet pregnant at least in 1988, so it's actually in the 80's.

    • When Tommy's on his way to work, a movie poster for the film, "Number 23" can be seen in the background. This places the filming early 2007.

  • Quotes

    • Katy: Are you gonna go to jail, Dad?
      Tommy: No. Who said that I'm gonna go to jail?
      Katy: Well, mom, cousin Eddie, Father O'brien, all the kids at school...

    • Tommy: Okay, Colleen, sex with the boyfriend, in the car in front of the house. How about that, huh? The neighbors could've seen--
      Janet: So did we. So did we.
      Tommy: Honey, she's a kid, she just turned 18... you know...
      Janet: You got me pregnant when I was 17.
      Tommy: Okay, that was--
      Janet: In your truck, while we were drinking, and on pot.
      Tommy: It was the 70's, okay?

    • Tommy (about Tony, Collen's boyfriend): I mean, what's this guy doing, signin'... you know...
      Colleen: Tits?
      Tommy: Breasts.
      Colleen: Boobs.
      Tommy: Whatever.
      Colleen: He's a musician.
      Tommy: Are you... Are you... That-- That you ... ugh ... That's just --- What instrument does he play?
      Colleen: He's the lead singer.
      Tommy: He's not a musician, okay? The four guys up on stage with him are the musicians. Jesus Christ -- Lead singer, those are the guys who wear all the make-up and do all the drugs, and -- and sleep with all the chicks. How old's this guy?
      Colleen: Twenty-six.
      Tommy: Jesus-- Twenty six year old-- you know how old that is in rock 'n roll years? It's like seventy, okay? He's like the Clint Eastwood of rock 'n roll.

    • Tommy: Lemme tell 'ya somethin' missy, you're not foolin' anybody, okay? Oh, yeah, I smelled the pot when you walked in, okay? Yeah, yeah, and I can smell the sex. Pot and sex, it's -- it's--
      Colleen: Okay, Dad, okay. Reality check time, okay, Dad? Yes, I have sex.
      Tommy: Shh!
      Colleen: Yeah, you heard me. I just had sex with Tony, in his car, right after I just smoked a big fat joint.
      Tommy: Very funny. (Colleen covers her mouth) What? (Colleen throws up on the floor) Jesus Christ.
      Colleen: Oh, yeah, the pot made me forget, but I also drink now. Tonight I had vodka, beer and peppermint schnapps. ... A lot of peppermint schnapps. (turns around towards the bathroom)
      Tommy: Hey, hey, I am telling your mother!
      Colleen: Earth to Dad, she already knows.

    • Katy (after Colleen puked up peppermint schnapps in the hallway): It smells like Christmas out here.
      Tommy: It's not Christmas, honey. (hearing Colleen throwing up) Happy holidays.

    • Theresa (while having sex in a chruch): Oh, god, oh god!
      Lou: Oh, yeah, that's it, just keep saying that, this way if we get caught I could always say that there was prair involved. (she pulls him back down to her and they start kissing again) I can't, I can't. Theresa I can't do this, I'm sorry. We need to stop I was raised a catholic for god's sake.
      Theresa: So, I was a nun. (they start going back at it)

    • Janet: This baby hates me.
      Tommy: Honey, he's a baby, he doesn't even know what hate is.
      Janet: He's a Gavin. He was born to hate. You know, come to think of it, I think he's all Gavin. Half Johnny, half you.

    • Maggie: You're throwing away the porn?
      Sean: Okay, look, Maggie, a lotta wives-- they would be thrilled if their husbands were throwing away their porn they would see it as a mature and committed act, and -- and I thnk that you should see this as a real positive thing.
      Maggie: You know, that's all fine and good, Sean, only it's my porn.
      Sean: Yeah, but you don't need it anymore 'cause 'ya got me.
      Maggie (laughs): Put the box down.
      Sean: C'mon, Maggie I just wanna be married for two seconds without--
      Maggie: No, now! (he gets scared and puts the box down instantly) You see this box? This box is your friend, it might even be your best friend because it is the only thing breathing life into our relationship right now.
      Sean: Maggie, we've been married nine months. What are you talkin' about breathin' life into the relationship?
      Maggie: Everyone needs breath, everyone needs a spark, Sean!
      Sean: Okay, and the spark is watching some girl get double teamed by guys with cocks the size of telephone poles?
      Maggie: See, now you understand.
      Sean: No, I don't understand. I don't understand, Maggie, and I don't think you understand that I might have a problem with this. You know, that this might make me feel... inferior.
      Maggie: Oh, but Sean you have nothing to feel inferior about.
      Sean: Really?
      Maggie: Well.... except for the fact that your cock isn't as big as a telephone pole. But, that's--
      Sean: That's okay, I'm going to work. You go look at your porn.
      Maggie: Sean--- Sean, you don't want your cock that big. Your life would be terrible, you would not be able to buy pants.

    • Rich: I got a girl. Her name is Barbra. I met her at the center.
      Franco: Well, does she work there or is she, uh, you know, one of your people.
      Rich: Retards.
      Franco: Yeah.
      Rich: She has down's symdrome, she partically deaf.... She's in a wheelchair, but she's got the sweetest ass.
      Franco: Yeah, but if she's in a wheelchair, how can you see it?
      Rich (laughs): I stand her up sometimes.

    • Tommy: Do you have any idea what time it is?
      Colleen: 3 a.m.
      Tommy: It is? Jesus Christ.
      Colleen: 3:16 to be exact.
      Tommy: I told you 12, and I meant midnight, not noon time.

    • Tommy: So you want me to lie?
      Eddie: Yeah, through your goddamn teeth I want you to lie.
      Tommy: Well, I can't do that.
      Eddie: You-- You can't (starts laughing)
      Tommy: What's so funny?
      Eddie: You can't lie?
      Tommy: Look, I can lie to my wife, my kids, the guys at work, the guys at headquarters, cops, yeah I can do that kinda lyin'. That's like triple-A ball, you know? But these are lawyers, this is major league pitching here to these guys, I'm good but I'm not that good.

    • Tommy (to Sean): Hey, you're votin' for that hockey rink or I'm buyin' Maggie more porn.

    • Lou: I got two brand new back boards, NBA style. I got floor paint, I got a brand new box of balls, the whole nine yards.
      Tommy: For what?
      Lou: The b-ball court that we're puttin' in the basement.
      Tommy: I thought that we were puttin' a street hockey court in the basement.
      Lou: Nope. Nixed, New York nixed.
      Tommy: Since when?
      Lou: Uh, since last night.
      Tommy: Wh-- what do you mean 'since last night'?
      Lou: We took a vote, by e-mail.
      Tommy: You-- I don't do e-mail, you can't take a vote by e-mail. What's this you take a vote and I'm not included? What's that about?
      Lou: Look, we the crew, uh, decided that matters concerning his house in the future should only be voted on by guys who are actually gonna be here in the future.
      Tommy: W-wh- wah?
      Lou: You know, word on the street is that you're going to jail.
      Tommy: Well, I don't know what street that is but that's the wrong street because I'm not going to jail.

    • Lou: 'Mustkets' and 'Ingets' sounds like someone's been playing scrabble with rainman again.
      Franco: Yeah, he had a lotta T's.

    • Lou: I mean, c'mon where are these cats?
      Franco: What're you askin' me for?
      Lou: C'mon, Franco, the one time that we actually need you to find pussy.

    • Tommy (about Colleen, drinking, smoking pot and having sex): When were you planning on telling me about this?
      Janet: I was gonna drop the sex bomb on you awhile ago but this whole plutonic living arrangement thing has been going so well.
      Tommy: Yeah.
      Janet: Yeah. And you always take the word 'sex' as an invitation, so I didn't wanna risk it. As for the pot and booze, check her birth certificate, her last name's Gavin. G'night.
      Tommy: So that wasn't an invitation?
      Janet: Oh, my god, get out of here.

    • Tommy: Colleen is smoking pot!
      Janet: I know.
      Tommy: You know? What do you mean 'you know'?
      Janet: And it's good pot, not the cheap shit we used to get.
      Tommy: Great, great. That's a great attitdude. You know, I told you years ago, that pot is a gateway drug--- So she comes home tonight, not only is she high, she's drunk. Drunk. Yeah, shitfaced. Puked. Yeah.
      Janet: Was she driving?
      Tommy: No, I think her 50 year old boyfriend was handling the driving responsiblities.
      Janet: He's 26. And that's good, that's good.
      Tommy: Why's that good?
      Janet: Because he doesn't drink.
      Tommy: Okay. I'm pretty sure she's bangin' this guy.
      Janet: I know. She's on the pill.
      Tommy: You put her on the pill? In-insane. Just totally-- ... You-- you got the whole toolbox goin' here, booze, penises, ... I-- I can't believe that I'm finally the moral compass in this family.

    • Colleen (about her lesbian phase): Dad, that was so six months ago. I'm through with girls, girls are crazy. It was just a phase I was going through.
      Tommy: Your grandmother thought that me and your mom were just a phase, and look at us!

  • Notes

  • Allusions