The Onion

Season 201109 Episode 0916

Economic Update: Dow Futures Plunge On News That Bill Loughlin Has Entered Sears Express Checkout Line

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Economic Update: Dow Futures Plunge On News That Bill Loughlin Has Entered Sears Express Checkout Line
AIRED:
The nation commemorates the 10th anniversary of 9/11 by toasting the stable government of Afghanistan from atop the Freedom Tower, any hope of recovery for the U.S. economy rests on one Spokane, WA resident, and a local man pushes the 4 millionth button of his life. It's the week of September 12th, 2011.moreless
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