The Onion

Season 201110 Episode 1007

Last Bastion Of U.S. Economy Succumbs To Pancreatic Cancer

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Last Bastion Of U.S. Economy Succumbs To Pancreatic Cancer
AIRED:
American voters are worried about botching another election, everybody is shocked that a body found in the woods is not Jason, and a new study finds a link between reading text on computer screens and cancer.

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