The Onion

Season 201112 Episode 1209

Report: Nobody's Heard From David Blaine In A While, Somebody Should Probably Check If He Died In One Of Those ThingsA

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Report: Nobody's Heard From David Blaine In A While, Somebody Should Probably Check If He Died In One Of Those ThingsA
AIRED:
Secretary of Agriculture Tom Vilsack continues his good-will tour to improve relations with foreign produce, a burglar makes sure to crack the glass on a family portrait before leaving, and an excited groom sends text messages to his buddies during his br...

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