The Onion - Season 200906
The Onion Premiered Jan 17, 2008 Hasn't Aired
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6/30/09Taco Bell boasts zero environmental impact with their new menu which will rely solely on synthetic, lab-produced ingredients. -
6/25/09The President says the purpose of the performance reviews is to have a little face time to make sure we're all on the same page going forward. -
6/22/09Treasury officials say the gold has just been rattling around in the bottom of some vaults at the US Bullion Depository anyway. -
6/16/09After gym doctors confirmed the injuries were career-ending, Johnson's trainers said there was no reason to keep her alive. -
6/12/09Rep. McCullough cannot even fathom the amount of contempt you'd have to hold for Congress, the American people to do something so inconsiderate. -
6/9/09Obama will abandon complex policies on emissions, clean coal and refocus on achievable goals like applying deodorant daily, learning what to say when you burp. -
6/4/09Rep. Iscoe warns gays will give penises to lesbians who will give them vaginas so that homosexuals can marry and continue their attack on the American family. -
6/1/09Designed with the frustrated, sleep-deprived parent in mind, the BabySafe Ball can withstand shaking, stabbing, and claims you wish it had never been born.
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