Zoey 101 Season 4 Episode 4

(Zoey's cell phone rings)
Zoey: Hello? No, I'm not dating James! It's just a rumor! And how did you get this number? (hangs up)

Michael: Woo! Is it getting ironic in here?

James: Sure! We'll get out! But first...(flushes a toilet)
(Logan screams in the shower)

Jeremiah: Hi, I'm Jeremiah Trottman, with a PCA news bulletin. I'm here live in Maxwell Hall's third floor restroom-
Logan: OH MY GOD!
Jeremiah: -Where Logan Reese is currently showering, and apparently... shampooing!

James: Hey Logan!
Logan: I'm busy shampooing!

Zoey: Logan?!
James: Yup. He started the rumor so girls would think I'm "undateable."
Lola: So you are dateable?
(Zoey and Quinn stare at her)
Lola: I'm just clarifying!

Michael: Move back in our room, man. This place is jank!

Michael: Look, James- (someone screams in the bathroom) I'm sorry, alright? For the way me and Logan acted. We uh...just liked having the extra space in the room...
James: Or maybe you miss Chase?

Michael: Well, at least you're next to the bathroom! That's convenient!
(someone screams in the distance)
Michael: What was that?!
James: Whenever someone flushes one of the toilets in there, it makes the shower get boiling hot for a few seconds.
Michael: Oh, well, how often does that-
(someone screams again)

James: Well, we did share the wasabi.
Zoey: Then we must be engaged!
James: I better go buy you a ring!
Zoey: How many kids should we have?

Michael: Whatcha doing?
James: Leaving.
Michael: You're leaving PCA?
James: No, just this room.

Lola: (about the rumor) Oh my God...did you start it?!
(Zoey smacks her with a pillow)
Lola: Okay, so we know it wasn't you...

Zoey: Who started this rumor?
Lola: Maybe it was James!
Zoey: But why would he-
Quinn: It makes perfect sense! He starts a rumor that you guys are dating, then you hear about it, and uh I don't know where I'm going with this.

Zoey: What, one spicy tuna roll and now I'm in a serious relationship?

Zoey: I'm NOT dating James, okay? We're NOT dating! There is NO dating going on between me and James!
Lola: ...Okay, what are you trying to say?

Stacey: My best friend is my telescope!

Quinn: How could you not tell us?
Zoey: Tell you what?
Lola: That you and James are dating!
Zoey: ...We are?!

Zoey: Sushi Rox is just up the hill! If you don't mind hills...
James: Or sushi.
Zoey: You don't like sushi?
James: I love sushi! Show me the hill!
Zoey: To the hill!

James: Hey, what's a good place to get some lunch on campus?
Zoey: Oh, you wanna have lunch?
James: Uh...
Zoey: Oh, you weren't asking me to have lunch with you...

Logan: How many dates do you have a week?
James: Huh?
Logan: My average is three. Three dates!
James: Wow, that's...cool for you.
Zoey: Hey, whatcha guys up to?
James: Well, Logan here is up to three dates a week!
Logan: Are you mocking me?
James: Yeah, little bit!

James: Hey! Uh...I was wondering what the best place is to get some lunch on campus.
Logan: What are we, the PCA student information bureau?
Michael: Do we look like pamphlets?

Logan: What is the matter with you people? Look at my face! I have perfect features!

Logan: (notices girls outside his window) Hey, I don't need a bunch of girls staring at me through my window! (realizes they're staring at James, not him) GET OUT OF HERE!

Logan: Why are you guys here?
(all the girls are staring at James)
Zoey: Uh, we uh...
Lola: Uh...we...why'd we come here?
Quinn: Uh...basketball!

Logan: (to Zoey, Quinn, and Lola) Hey.
Michael: Sup?
Zoey: Um, we wanted to know if you wants wanted to play some- (the girls spot James and stare)
Zoey: Um Michael, did you want to introduce us?
Michael: Not really!

(Zoey, Quinn, and Lola arrive at Logan and Michael's room)
Zoey: (knocks on door) Knock, knock!
Quinn: Na-knockity knock!
Lola: Don't do that.

James: I'm back!
Logan: Good for you.

James: (to Michael and Logan) So, you guys are pretty psyched about me moving in here, right? (silence) Okay...I'll be back in a few with the rest of my stuff. (more silence) No, no thanks! I got it!

Michael: What'd you find out about our terrible new roommate?
Logan: Uh...it says here that in the eighth grade, Jimmy Garrett went to Woodcliff Middle School in Santa Fe.
Michael: (matter of factly) That's in New Mexico!
Logan: I know where Santa Fe is!

Logan: Stop clacking!
Michael: I can't. When I'm nervous, I gotta clack!

Quinn: All the earth's water dries up...
Lola: So we drink lemonade!

Lola: Oh man! I just checked my to-do list and I forgot to write my history paper!
Zoey: Why'd you forget?
Lola: I forgot to check my to-do list!

Michael: I knew our new roommate would be a doof!

Lola: You can't judge a guy by his name
Logan: Yeah you can. Logan Reese. cool name, cool guy! Mark Del Figgalo...?
Mark: He just insulted me, right?

Zoey: Yeah, you really showed that cob!

Logan: Bad news dude!
Michael: I hate news when it's bad!

Michael: Just tell your teacher that you couldn't write your paper because of global warming!

Michael: Come on Logan. Let's go get some cheese. Just the two of us. Which is all we need. Two.
Logan: Cheese.

(Zoey and James are walking through the courtyard. James turns to Zoey)
James: Why would Logan make up such a stupid rumor?
Zoey: That's Logan for you.
(They kiss)
Both: ...Oh my God!
(They kiss again)